Animation Brawl: Yellowstone
by QuizKidDonnieSmith
Summary: Sixteen animated characters set out to compete in the greatest adventure game of all time. One by one, they will vote each other out and brave the freezing cold of Yellowstone National Park to claim the title of Sole Survivor. Story uses characters from Steven Universe, Family Guy, My Little Pony, Happy Tree Friends, and more.
1. Do You Want To Build A Snowman? Part I

_**CONTESTANT LIST**_

* * *

 _ **DAKOTA TRIBE**_

* * *

 _ **STEVEN...STEVEN UNIVERSE**_

 _ **MANDY...GRIM ADVENTURES OF BILLY & MANDY**_

 _ **SLAPPY...ANIMANIACS**_

 _ **PEPE...LOONEY TUNES**_

 _ **PANCHITO...THE THREE CABALLEROS**_

 _ **ABIGAIL...CODENAME: KIDS NEXT DOOR**_

 _ **MARCELINE...ADVENTURE TIME**_

 _ **JACK...A NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS**_

* * *

 _ **SHOSHONE TRIBE**_

* * *

 **CLYDE...PAC-MAN**

 **FLUTTERSHY...MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC**

 **CLEO...CLIFFORD, THE BIG RED DOG**

 **SHIFTY...HAPPY TREE FRIENDS**

 **WILT...FOSTER'S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS**

 **JOY...INSIDE-OUT**

 **CHESHIRE CAT...ALICE IN WONDERLAND**

 **BRIAN...FAMILY GUY**

* * *

 _(A shot of a HELICOPTER flying over a white terrain. We cascade over cliffs, flying over FROZEN WATERFALLS. We arc up into the sunlight, spinning around to capture the massive expanse of Yellowstone National Park. The camera turns around to catch the HOST hanging out of the HELICOPTER)_

HOST

We're flying over Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming! A frozen wasteland untouched by the modern civilization! In times long ago, this area was home to indigenous Native-American tribes…known for their spirit…

 _(A shot of SMOKE rising up from a CAMPFIRE. SHADOWS are seen gathered around a CAMPFIRE)_

HOST

Fortitude…

 _(A shot of a SPEAR shattering ICE covering a POND. It slices through a FISH beneath the ice, impaling it, dragging it back up to the surface)_

HOST

And will-power to survive in these crippling conditions….

(A shot of sunlight streaming over a FROZEN LAKE. The shadows of a NATIVE-AMERICAN TRIBE walk across the LAKE carrying a sled of supplies. The SUN sets on the horizon in front of them)

HOST

But when the temperatures became less friendly…they migrated elsewhere…

 _(A jump-cut in time. We now see the same LAKE hundreds of years later. TWO SLEDS are being dragged across the ICE, each loaded with a herd of supplies. One SLED has a green flag – reading "SHOSHONE" – and the other has a red flag reading "DAKOTA." There are EIGHT CONTESTANTS sitting in EACH SLED and each wears a PARKA with color corresponding to their FLAG)_

 _HOST_

Now, eighteen new travelers…from all across the animated universe…will return to finish what they started. They've already been divided into two tribes…...Dakota in red, Shoshone in green. First, the Dakota Tribe…

 _(Cut to STEVEN UNIVERSE in the SLED. A plump boy with messy BROWN HAIR. He unzips his PARKA, staring down at some kind of GLOWING GEM where his BELLY BUTTON should be. It flashes for a second. He smiles, rubbing it. It settles down)_

HOST

Steven…from Steven Universe….

 _(Cut to STEVEN in a confessional. He's holding a BACKPACK and sadly emptying out CANDY BARS)_

STEVEN

I know. I wasn't supposed to smuggle food. But when we were waiting at the lodge before the game, I found a bunch of Cookie Cats in the fridge. I won't smuggle any more. I promise…

 _(He picks up one of the CANDY BARS, tears in his eyes)_

Farewell precious angels…

 _(Cut to ABIGAIL sitting next to STEVEN. An African-American girl with a PONYTAIL. She watches as STEVEN glances around, making sure nobody is looking. He reaches into his BACKPACK and pulls out one last COOKIE CAT. He stuffs it under his PARKA. ABIGAIL smiles and looks away)_

HOST

Abigail…from Codename: Kids Next Door…

 _(Cut to SLAPPY SQUIRREL sitting on the other side of the SLED. An elderly, grey SQUIRREL. She watches as STEVEN drops the CANDY BAR on the ground. It lands near SLAPPY's feet. He glances up at SLAPPY unsurely. SLAPPY cocks her head. She steps on the CANDY BAR, crushing it with her BOOT. She slides it back to STEVEN)_

 _HOST_

 _Slappy Squirrel…from Animaniacs…_

 _(Cut to SLAPPY in a confessional)_

SLAPPY

Yeah, yeah, I starred in some cartoons back in the day. That paid for the botoxes. And the divorces. Now I came out here because I don't want to be harassed by the mundane issues of my boring life. And also, I think this old lady's still got it...

 _(Cut to MARCELINE on the SLED. A pale VAMPIRE. She frowns as STEVEN kneels down beside the CANDY BAR. He looks teary-eyed, trying to piece it back together. MARCELINE gives SLAPPY an angry shove. SLAPPY turns to her, annoyed. MARCELINE hisses at her like a demon. SLAPPY whistles and looks away)_

 _HOST_

Marceline….from Adventure Time…

 _(Cut to JACK SKELLINGTON on the SLED. A tall, spaced-out looking SKELETON. He's smiling vacantly, delighted by everything. Some people are giving him weird looks)_

HOST

Jack…from _A Nightmare Before Christmas…_

(Cut to JACK in a confessional)

JACK

Icicles they call them? Are they stabbing implements? And-

(He blinks, confused)

What – sorry, I'm rambling. Hi! I'm Jack Skellington, spokesman and local mascot for Halloweentown. I've come out here to… survive?

(He smiles in confusion)

But…I'm dead…

 _(Cut to MANDY in the SLED. A blonde girl with a stone-cold face. She's huddled alone, shivering, trying to keep warm. She watches STEVEN weep for his CANDY bar. She closes her eyes and tries to go to sleep)_

HOST

Mandy…from The Grim Adventures Of Billy And Mandy…

 _(Cut to PEPE in the SLED. A French Skunk. He has his eyes locked on SLAPPY. He purrs romantically. SLAPPY gives him a death stare)_

 _HOST_

 _Pepe LePew…from Looney Tunes…_

 _(Cut to PEPE in a confessional)_

PEPE

I make a living as…how-you-say in English…romantic advisor…? I give dating advice…

 _(He holds up a copy of a BOOK with his smiling face)_

 _"Pepe LePew's Guide To Romance: How To Believe That Pepe Believes In You…"_

 _(Cut to PANCHITO on the SLED. A red MEXICAN ROOSTER. He has an ACOUSTIC GUITAR. He strums it thoughtfully._

HOST

And Panchito…from The Three Caballeros…

 _(Cut to PANCHITO in a confessional)_

PANCHITO

Yo soy Panchito Pistoles, guitarist, mariachi singer, official fan-mail answerer for the Three Caballeros! Here, here, I prepare song…

 _(Cut to the other SLED. We see the GREEN FLAG reading SHOSHONE rippling in the WIND. We pan down the SLED, capturing a quick glimpse of everyone's faces)_

HOST

The Shoshone Tribe…

 _(Cut to CLYDE sitting in the SHOSHONE SLED. A strange, angry-looking ORANGE ghost creature wearing a FEDORA)_

HOST

Clyde…from Pac-Man…

 _(Cut to CLYDE in a confessional. He speaks like a gangster in an old movie)_

CLYDE

I'm Clyde. I run an enterprise. A shindig. An operation. I have a ghost-gang. If people rub me the wrong way, that's it, we rub them out. There's this one guy for example, this yellow guy, we've been going after him for ages. One of these days, we're going to catch him…

 _(He glares at the camera)_

I mean - it's been a good thirty years...

 _(Cut to SHIFTY on the SLED. A GREEN RACCOON wearing a FEDORA. He clicks his tongue, smiling at CLYDE from the other side of the SLED. CLYDE isn't paying attention)_

 _(Cut to SHIFTY in a confessional)_

SHIFTY

You've got this older guy here...this, eh, orange guy who seems like he's…kind of in the same business I am, y'know?

 _(He takes off his FEDORA and smirks)_

But…Shifty wears _a lot_ of different hats…and not all of them play fair…

 _(Cut to WILT in the SLED. A weird, imaginary creature that's almost seven-feet tall. He has a big smile plastered on his face and looks out-of-place amidst all the tension)_

HOST

Wilt…from Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends…

 _(Cut to FLUTTERSHY in the SLED. A yellow PONY. She looks absolutely terrified)_

HOST

Fluttershy…from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic…

 _(Cut to CLEO in the SLED. A purple POODLE. She's smiling at SHIFTY, trying to get him to notice her)_

 _HOST_

Cleo…from Clifford, The Big Red Dog…

 _(Cut to CLEO in a confessional. She's talking very fast and with zero self-awareness)_

CLEO

Okay, everyone has this idea I'm high-maintenance. Because I'm a poodle. And I find that offensive. I mean, just because someone's stereotypical, that doesn't mean there isn't more under the surface. And I'm _not_ a stereotype. I'm speaking on behalf of others...

 _(Cut to CHESHIRE CAT in the SLED. A manic-looking, purple CAT. He grins with his eyes spinning around, shifting from person to person)_

HOST

Cheshire Cat…from _Alice In Wonderland…_

 _(Cut to BRIAN in the SLED. A white DOG with a red collar. He shivers in the COLD, trying to regain his body heat. He's sort of keeping to himself at the edge of the SLED)_

HOST

Brian…from Family Guy…

 _(Cut to BRIAN in a confessional. He looks groggy and hungover)_

BRIAN

So at the lodge before the game, they gave us unlimited bar access. One thing led to another. Now I'm feeling like I got hit by a freight train. But when I get home, this might all be great material for my novel. Because I'm writing a novel. And it's…it's really good…

 _(He shuffles uncomfortably)_

Um, it's about a dog…who's…trying to write a novel…

 _(Cut to JOY in the SLED. A strange, pixie-like creature with blue hair. She's glowing with delight – literally - and smiling at the snowflakes)_

 _HOST_

And Joy...from Inside Out...

 _(Cut to the HOST standing on top of a tall GLACIER. Morning fog is swirling beneath him in the MOUNTAINS)_

HOST

But what these people don't know is that a dramatic twist will be shaping this game. The natives that used to lived here believed that spirits didn't leave after they passed on. Going by tradition, certain contestants may find an advantage that gives them a special power…to cast a vote at a Tribal Council _after_ they're eliminated. We call this… _. "The Ghost Vote…"_

(Cut to CHESHIRE CAT in a confessional)

CHESHIRE CAT

 _(Reciting a POEM)_

 _"Through the rain, up the spout, go ahead, vote me out. End my game, for this or that…_

 _I'm not unstable. Just a cat!"_

 _(Cut to PANCHITO in a confessional. He strums his GUITAR and sings a song)_

 _PANCHITO_

 _"Yo soy Panchito!_

 _Into the snow!_

 _Look alive!_

 _Here we gooooo!"_

 _(He raises his GUITAR in the air)_

 _Bienvenido!"_

* * *

 _(Cut to the edge of the LAKE. The TWO SLEDS brush against the shore as the DOGS stop pulling. The CONTESTANTS get out of their SLEDS and take spots on either a GREEN or RED MAT…._

 _The HOST stands on his own MAT nearby. He smiles as everyone takes their place)_

HOST

Welcome to Animation Brawl: Yellowstone….

 _(The CONTESTANTS applaud, ready to begin)_

You've already been divided into two tribes. You…white dog over there…any first impressions?

BRIAN

(Glancing at the HUSKIES)

Uh, I'm Brian.

HOST

You seem troubled, Brian.

BRIAN

(Pointing to the DOGS)

Are those dogs…being paid to pull that sled?

HOST

Oh, what have we got here – a dogs-rights activist?

BRIAN

Well, I just don't think it's fair that these animals are being asked to—

HOST

Okay, okay, we'll make things fair…

 _(Cut to thirty seconds later. BRIAN is now fastened up with the HUSKIES. There is a MUZZLE over his mouth like the rest of them. The HOST smiles at everyone)_

BRIAN

(Struggling to speak)

 _Mpph, mph…_

HOST

Any other objections?

(Everyone shakes their head)

Good! Now, back to first impressions. Blonde girl with the headband…what's your name?

MANDY

(Dryly)

You know my name.

HOST

All right Mandy, what're you thinking of your tribe mates?

MANDY

(With no emotion)

I'm beside myself. I want to run through a field and pick wildflowers. We'll click our heels together. Throw glitter.

JOY

(Excited)

Then what?

MANDY

We'll hang ourselves.

HOST

And you…big…um…googly-eyed…thing?

WILT

(Waving at everyone)

Wilt! Hi! Greetings! Hello!

HOST

What do you think about _your_ tribe?

WILT

(Smiling)

Well gee, I don't know. I'm just here because they recruited me! From the imaginary friend basketball league. In fact – I've never even _watched_ this show!

HOST

(Desperate)

Okay, well, let's get some entertainment guys. Any trash-talking? Anyone?

 _(SLAPPY raises her hand, clearly not caring)_

Slappy? Care to chime in?

SLAPPY

(She points to STEVEN)

Always a pleasure. Let's see…we got the fat boy smuggling in Twinkies…

(She points to MARCELINE)

The girl who hasn't seen sunlight in a couple hundred years…

(She points to ABIGAIL and MANDY)

Coupla girls who forgot their permission slips…

 _(She points to PANCHITO)_

Senor Stop-Playing-Your-Damn-Guitar-For-Three-Hours….

(She points to PEPE)

Our self-described womanizer…

(She points to JACK)

And….whatever that is….

JACK

 _(Waving)_

Hi! I'm Jack!

 _(The entire DAKOTA TRIBE is astounded. STEVEN looks particularly hurt. PANCHITO looks sad and places his GUITAR down on the ground)_

SLAPPY

(Rolling her eyes)

Can we start now?

HOST

Well, let's check in with the other tribe first. Raccoon in the fedora, what's your name?

SHIFTY

Shifty. …

HOST

Y'know, for all the cold, you've got a big smile on your face…

SHIFTY

What can I say? I'm a ray of sunshine. I get everyone going…

HOST

You'd call yourself a people person?

SHIFTY

Well hey, hey, you can't put any labels on me, buddy. I'm not a soup can. But yeah…I don't know, call me a charmer. I'll steal your heart and sell it back to you…

 _(Cut to CLYDE in a confessional)_

CLYDE

Yeah, I'm a criminal, big whoop. There's a hierarchy though, you know? I didn't get to the top of the mob ladder playing Monopoly. I deserve _respect_ here. And if there's one thing I can't stand… .it's young, smug thieves. The raccoon's a crook. And I'm not going to have it.

 _(Cut back to the scene. CLYDE is glaring at SHIFTY, keeping quiet)_

HOST

All right…one last-check in. Who should it be? How about you…the yellow pony?

 _(Everyone looks around, confused, not seeing anyone. FLUTTERSHY coughs and steps out from the CROWD)_

 _FLUTTERSHY_

 _Fluttershy. Present…_

HOST

Fluttershy, what are your thoughts on your tribe?

FLUTTERSHY

Well, I…I certainly don't want to vote them out. I mean, if other people do, that's okay but…

(She swallows, very frightened)

 _Hi._ I'm Fluttershy…

(Cut to CLEO in a confessional)

CLEO

This is going to be easier than a walk to the dog salon…

(Cut back to the scene)

HOST

All right…you guys ready for your first challenge? Here's how it's going to work. Behind you, there's a massive pile of supplies. You have exactly two minutes to scavenge as much as you possibly can and place it on your sled. Whatever lands on there, you keep. Whatever doesn't… _scrap._ Survivors ready?

(Cut to MARCELINE in a confessional)

MARCELINE

Hey guys. I'm Marceline Abadeer. The vampire queen. When I saw that big pile of supplies, I was thinking, like….this could be used for like a crazy bonfire…y'know, like, for Burning Man…?

 _(She flips her hair out of her face and laughs)_

Y'know, I liked Survivor before it was cool…

 _(Cut back to the scene. Everyone tenses up, ready to run. The HOST raises a HAND)_

HOST

 _SURVIVORS READY? GO!_

 _(Everyone takes off toward the SUPPLY PILE. The TRIBES clash right away, fightin over SUPPLIES. SHIFTY hops onto the PILE and scurries to the top. He starts grabbing FISHING LINE and BAIT at the TOP, piling it on his shoulders…_

 _On the ground, PANCHITO swings his GUITAR wildly, trying to smack somebody. MANDY shoulders him out of the way. She reaches into the PILE and digs out a BASKET of FRUIT…_

 _The HOST steps back, surveying the CHAOS…_

HOST

It's an all-out brawl! You don't even know these people! Now you have to work together…

 _(Cut to WILT being smacked around by everyone. He still has a big smile on his face)_

WILT

 _(Getting pushed around)_

Oh, sorry! My apologies! Excuse me!

 _(MARCELINE crashes into CLEO holding a FISHING SPEAR. CLEO seizes it. They begin to fight over it)_

CLEO

Pale-faced monster! Get a tan!

MARCELINE

 _(Snatching the SPEAR)_

Rock and roll, sister! Rock and roll!

 _(SHIFTY makes his way to the bottom of the HILL with the FISHING LINE and BAIT. He tosses it into the SHOSHONE SLED, which is filling up considerably. The DAKOTA SLED is a bit behind, but not by much. MARCELINE hurries over to the DAKOTA SLED, tossing the SPEAR on)_

 _HOST_

Thirty seconds left! Who will come out on top?

 _(CHESHIRE CAT is on top of the PILE. He cackles as he holds an ORANGE, balancing it on his FINGER. PEPE makes his way up, scrambling, trying to grab him)_

PEPE

I warn you, Sir! The French are not to be crossed!

 _(CHESHIRE CAT cackles and vanishes in a crack of smoke. PEPE is astounded. The ORANGE drops into his PALM)_

PEPE

Where'd he go?

 _(Cut to the bottom of the HILL. CHESHIRE CAT is now running back to the SLED, laughing, eyes rolling in his head…)_

CHESHIRE CAT

 _(Singing)_

Made you flinch, made you flinch…

HOST

Ten seconds left…

 _(Cut to the top of the PILE. FLUTTERSHY makes her way to the top, frightened, trying to balance. She spots a BANANA and tries to grab it. Before she can, PANCHITO pops up and snatches it)_

FLUTTERSHY

Sorry…that was my banana…

PANCHITO

Ah, I apologize, miss! I must play for my team, yes?

 _(SHIFTY climbs up behind PANCHITO. He taps on his shoulder. Bewildered, PANCHITO spins around. SHIFTY snatches the BANANA)_

SHIFTY

Sorry, man. I kind of have a potassium deficiency. And bananas are loaded with potassium. You wouldn't mind going for an orange, would you?

PANCHITO

(Blinking)

Ah, yes, Senor. I didn't see. Help yourself…

 _(PANCHITO jogs away. FLUTTERSHY stares at SHIFTY, a little apprehensive. He winks at her. Then he hands her the BANANA)_

SHIFTY

Here kid….

( _Cut to FLUTTERSHY in a confessional. She's still holding the BANANA. She has a big smile on her face. She blushes)_

* * *

 _(Cut to several minutes later. The TRIBES now stand on their MATS behind their SLEDS. DAKOTA has come up noticeably shorter than SHOSHONE. DAKOTA, in particular, lacks comfort items like TARPS and BLANKETS. SHOSHONE also has noticeably more food)_

HOST

Well, all right, let's see what we have. Joy…no tarp.

JOY

Well, I'm optimistic!

CLYDE

 _(Muttering)_

Oh my God, kill me…

JOY

 _(Pulling CLYDE toward her)_

Because we're going to power-through this together!

 _(A group of PRODUCTION CREW MEMBERS enter. They hand PANCHITO a MAP on DAKOTA and SHIFTY a MAP on SHOSHONE)_

HOST

All right. Now, here are your maps to your new homes. When you get there, they'll be no fire, no food, nothing. So I'd suggest working before sundown. If you think it's chilly now, wait until nightfall. Godspeed. Good luck…

 _(WILT kneels down beside BRIAN. He takes off the MUZZLE and unclips him)_

WILT

Sorry, partner….

BRIAN

Forget it….

 _(STEVEN grabs the REINS attached to the DOGS. He tugs them and the DOGS bark. They begin to take off across the LAKE, dragging the DAKOTA SLED out over the LAKE…_

 _CLYDE does the same with the SHOSHONE SLED. Within moments, they're off as well…_

 _The HOST turns back to the camera, smiling as the SLEDS disappear…_

HOST

It's a classic social experiment. Sixteen people fighting against the elements…and each other…

CLEO

 _(Calling out in the distance)_

Okay, is anyone heavyset? Because if you're heavyset, sit in the back!

HOST

Thirty-nine days! Sixteen people! One…. _SURVIVOR!_

* * *

 _(Cut to the DAKOTA CAMP. An open clearing between a cluster of PINE TREES. There is scattered wood lying around, presumably from an abandoned campsite. There is also a mound of snow, probably intended to build an IGLOO. There is also a patch for a CAMPFIRE in the center._

 _The DAKOTA SLED rides into the CLEARING. Their HUSKIES stop, panting, and everyone gets out of the SLED. PANCHITO and STEVEN celebrate. They climb out of the SLED and jump into the CLEARING, rolling in the snow._

 _Almost everyone goes into a GROUP HUG - JACK, MARCELINE, ABIGAIL, PEPE, PANCHITO, and STEVEN. Two people noticeably abstain. MANDY busies herself going through the SUPPLIES, not wanting to attract attention._

 _SLAPPY just glares at the OTHERS from the side)_

 _ABIGAIL_

All right ya'll, we gonna hang Shoshone out like a buncha wet blankets. Say our name, on the count of three! One...two-

PEPE, ABIGAIL, JACK, MARCELINE, PANCHITO, & STEVEN

DAKOTA!

 _(SLAPPY starts coughing raggedly. The OTHERS turn in concern, making sure she's okay. She stops instantly. Then she smiles at them)_

SLAPPY

Now that I have your attention...how about building a shelter?

* * *

 _(Cut to a few minutes later. Everyone has dispersed around camp. They start to pull SUPPLIES off the SLED together._

 _JACK climbs out of the SLED and looks around the area. His eyes are delighted. He looks like a kid on Christmas morning…_

MARCELINE

(Smiling at him)

Hey bone-daddy, you want to help me unpack?

JACK

I'd be delighted!

 _(JACK hurries over, dusting SNOW off his hands. He starts to pull SUPPLIES out of the SLED. The OTHERS walk away, dispersing around the area. MARCELINE is the only one who stays, unpacking supplies. JACK stares at her with a weird smile)_

JACK

I'm confused. This is...a _show_ of sorts, correct?

MARCELINE

Of course. See the cameras?

JACK

(Squinting at the screen)

Ah yes, strange mechanisms. But – I haven't gotten any schedule yet. So…I'm rather confused. Do _you_ know when my show is supposed to start?

MARCELINE

Start what?

JACK

My show! The entertainment! Y'know – _that's_ why I'm here after all!

(Pause)

MARCELINE

Wait, dude, why do you think you're here?

JACK

My show!

MARCELINE

Yeah, you're on "Survivor." Where you vote people out…?

JACK

(Smiling vacantly)

Vote who out? What's going on?

 _(Another weird pause. MARCELINE is put off for a moment. Then she smiles, realizing what she can do)_

MARCELINE

Um yeah, _you'll_ get a show. Your show's coming soon. In fact, if you stay with me.….I…I think _this_ is going to be the greatest show ever….

 _(She forces a laugh)_

Like…a bangin' concert…y'know…except we're freezing…and people's toes are falling off.

JACK

And then we'll collect the toes? In jars?

MARCELINE

Um – sure. Here, you want to see something cool?

 _(MARCELINE pulls an APPLE out of the SLED. She proceeds to bite it. The RED COLOR proceeds to drain out of it. Its left as a white, empty SHELL. She throws it to JACK)_

MARCELINE

How's _that_ for a show?

JACK

 _(Delighted)_

Are you a witch?

MARCELINE

(Awkward)

No. I'm just…a really pale…um…

 _(She laughs again, trying to regain herself)_

I mean, who knows? Maybe I sneak into children's homes at nights and plant bad dreams into their ears. Maybe I have a whole closet full of human brains…

JACK

 _(Awed)_

May I have your phone number?

 _(Cut to MARCELINE in a confessional)_

MARCELINE

Jack thinks he's here to perform a show or something. He's crazy. But he's kind of hot too and he's rocking the whole undead thing. So that's cool. I can use him. I mean, as long as he doesn't spread the truth that I'm a vampire...

 _(There's a weird lightning effect. MARCELINE bares her fangs. Then she smiles awkwardly)_

* * *

 _(Cut to about half an hour later._ _There is a yellow slit of sunset on the horizon line. MANDY and ABIGAIL are crowded around the FIRE, working together to try to get a spark with FLINT)_

ABIGAIL

Girl power, y'know? Man, we suck...

MANDY

(Not looking at her)

I'm not a feminist...

ABIGAIL

I mean - I'm jokin. Geez. What are you into?

MANDY

(Deadpan)

Once upon a time, there were two clowns at the circus. One clown insisted on talking and talking. He woke up in a bathtub the next morning with his esophagus removed...

(Awkward pause)

ABIGAIL

Was that directed at me?

MANDY

(Smirking)

I was just making conversation. How are you, Abigail?

(Cut to ABIGAIL in a confessional)

ABIGAIL

Girl's whacked up in the head. Like, I can tell she's smart, but whenever we try to talk, she goes on about...dead clowns and spiders and stuff. I feel like she's testing me. Trying to creep me out. But, y'know, she's my age. She's sharp. I'm trying to click with Mandy...

 _(Cut back to the scene)_

ABIGAIL

What is it with you, man? Do you want to talk about the game or not?

MANDY

Of course I do. But we're sitting out here in the open. Stop being an idiot. Make the fire...

 _(PEPE waltzes over. He smirks at the girls and sits down. He holds his DATING BOOK in his hands)_

PEPE

Excuse me ladies, I am noticing...ze fire has not been started?

MANDY

What was your first clue?

PEPE

Please Madame, if I may contribute? In the French Alps, I camp and build fires for my lovers. I will tend to this...

 _(PEPE starts tinkering with the FIRE. He smiles at the GIRLS on-and-off, trying to charm them. They just stare blankly at him)_

ABIGAIL

(Breaking the silence)

Hey Pepe, what's that book?

PEPE

 _(Holding up the BOOK)_

Oh, this. This is my dating book: "Pepe's Guide To Believing Pepe Believes In You." Perhaps I can interest you. I don't know if you have...middle school crush?

MANDY

I abhor love and everything it stands for...

 _(MANDY gets up and walks away. PEPE looks at ABIGAIL)_

PEPE

So...it's on sale for nine-ninety five...

* * *

 _(Cut to STEVEN in a confessional)_

STEVEN

When I hear the word hero, I get all excited inside. You know? Like, it makes me think of people jumping out of burning buildings...and saving people and...I mean, I don't call myself a hero though. No. That's not _why_ I'm out here. I just...feel like people expect me to be...

 _(Cut to the other side of CAMP. PANCHITO and STEVEN are working together on the SHELTER. They are constructing an IGLOO of sorts. PANCHITO evens out a deep HOLE with a sharpened STICK, trying to make it hospitable for everyone)_

PANCHITO

So you are…how-you-say…alien?

STEVEN

 _(A little embarrassed)_

I'm part-alien. I'm a Crystal Gem. My belly button's…super-powered and stuff…

PEPE

Ah, I have no super-power. If I did – I would make wine and women appear to me by magic! Yes, yes? I joke, I joke!

 _(He evens out the HOLE, very exhausted)_

But - I don't suppose – you could use power to help with the shelter?

STEVEN

Sorry. I operate by a strict moral code.

PANCHITO

Ah well...

 _(SLAPPY crosses over to the SHELTER. She smokes a cigarette. She glares at STEVEN and PANCHITO's handiwork)_

SLAPPY

What's this, rooster? You mining for gold?

PANCHITO

(Shocked)

Senora, are you…smoking a cigarette?

SLAPPY

Yeah, yeah…I smuggled them in. I'll put it out.

 _(She throws her CIGARETTE out in the SNOW)_

I'll tell you what you've got to do here. First, using the stick's going to take forever. You're better off just climbing on top. You dig a big hole with a shovel. That'll keep us safe from the wind…

PANCHITO

(Put-off)

You are welcome to…do it yourself—

SLAPPY

Yeah, yeah, gladly, out of my way—

 _(SLAPPY shoulders PANCHITO out of the way. She starts carving up the IGLOO)_

STEVEN

Slappy…why don't you let Panchito help?

SLAPPY

No, I want you, fat boy. Climb up here…

STEVEN

I'm not fat!

SLAPPY

Yeah, yeah, and I'm working for Playboy. Lend me a hand.

 _(She turns to PANCHITO)_

Now you, scram. Go help somebody else.

PANCHITO

(Holding his HAT to his CHEST)

My lady… I think you're coming off rather rash…

SLAPPY

Do you?

PANCHITO

To the tribe.

STEVEN

(Whispering)

It's okay, Panchito. I'm going to try to get to know her. Maybe she's, like...shy...

* * *

 _(Cut to the FROZEN LAKE. MARCELINE and JACK are sitting together out on the ICE. They've each carved a HOLE and sit there with FISHING POLES. They ice-fish together, waiting for prey to nibble in the water beneath them. MARCELINE finishes fastening JACK's line for him)_

MARCELINE

So just like that. Now we wait for the fish to come by…

JACK

Scintillating.

 _(They sit there awkwardly. JACK smiles into space. MARCELINE clicks her tongue, trying to think of something to say)_

MARCELINE

Well...I thought I'd give you a crash course...in what's-

JACK

So have the producers come by yet? I must say, I'm excited to perform for a new audience! In Halloweentown, it's always the same routine!

MARCELINE

Well, you're not going to have a show...

JACK

I don't understand.

MARCELINE

 _(Very careful)_

Jack, the object of this game…is to vote everyone out one-by-one. Um, see...we're a tribe. And we're going to compete in challenges. All right? Does that make sense?

JACK

But…when do I perform my show?

MARCELINE

 _(After a moment)_

Okay, y'know what, never mind. Here, let's fish...

 _(She gets a tug on the LINE)_

Ooh, look I think I got one...

 _(MARCELINE yanks a FISH out of the WATER. It flops around on the ICE. She grabs a POCKETKNIFE nearby and starts to cut into it)_

MARCELINE

Ugly little guy, isn't he? Look, blubber-guts—

JACK

The smell is delectable.

MARCELINE

It smells like dead people.

JACK

Acquired taste. Of course, you wouldn't know. Being alive…

 _(MARCELINE frowns, a little put-off. She lays the DEAD FISH out on the ICE)_

MARCELINE

Well, I'm glad you're here. I mean, cause you seem super-chill. Cooler than the rest of them...

JACK

 _(Grinning)_

Monkey-see, monkey-do…

MARCELINE

Yeah. Just, um, stay on your toes though, okay? Cause…people might try to take advantage of you. So if you hear anything…make sure it comes back to me…

 _(Looking down at the FISH)_

Well, let's cut this little guy…

 _(MARCELINE brushes her HAIR out of her face. JACK catches a glimpse of the side of her NECK - particularly, two red bite marks. His face lights up in delight)_

JACK

ARE THOSE BITE MARKS?

MARCELINE

 _(Shrinking back)_

No.

JACK

WHY, YOU'RE NOT HUMAN!

MARCELINE

No, I'm human! I'm perfectly human!

JACK

Oh, come off it now! You're a beautiful denizen of the undead! A goddess of the underworld! Why, you're a _vampire,_ Marceline! Yes, yes! I thought so!

MARCELINE

 _(Frightened)_

Okay, well, what are you going to do? Throw garlic at me?

 _(JACK wraps his arms around her. He hugs her tightly. MARCELINE is shocked)_

JACK

No, no. The others don't need to know. Why, even back to ancient times…a vampire's identity was to to be protected. Don't you know what this means, my sweet?

MARCELINE

(Nervous laugh)

Well, I don't know. Let's ask the fish…

 _(She grabs the FISH. She pushes its mouth up and down, making it talk)_

MARCELINE

 _"What does it mean, Jack?"_

JACK

IT MEANS YOU'RE MY QUEEN!

MARCELINE

Your what?

 _(JACK shakes her back and forth)_

JACK

My goddess Sally, the love of my after-life, she's left me for parts unknown-

MARCELINE

She…broke up with you?

JACK

Yes! Yes! But now you're here!

(He squeezes MARCELINE harder)

I knew I came out here for a good reason! I knew this offer meant something! I will protect you! I will care for you! Clean for you! In this skeleton's eyes, you are royalty…and you will be treated as such...

MARCELINE

(After a moment)

So…you want to be my… _"friend?"_

 _(JACK bows humbly to her)_

JACK

I pledge my life...

MARCELINE

 _(Catching on)_

Well…I kind of like the sound of that. Okay Jacky-Jack, clean the fish. Gut it. Then bring it back to camp...

(Cut to MARCELINE in a confessional)

MARCELINE

Jack's insane. I remind him of his ex-girlfriend? Who's also a vampire or dead or something? But whatever. I mean, I can deal with having a lackey. A fan. A roadie. I've...never had a friend before either…

* * *

 _(Cut back to the SHELTER. SLAPPY and STEVEN are hard at work. STEVEN is hollowing out the SHELTER with a LONG STICK. They're constructing the IGLOO, making sure it's deep enough inside for everyone. SLAPPY surveys him as he works with the STICK)_

SLAPPY

Good. We're all finished. Now we can bring the fire inside.

 _(STEVEN ignores her. He places the STICK down and starts packing down the SNOW)_

Y'know, you could've put more effort. I mean, really, this is, like-

STEVEN

Slappy, this is really getting on my nerves.

SLAPPY

Whatever. What do you think of our tribe so far?

STEVEN

You're asking me? After insulting me?

 _SLAPPY_

Who said I insulted you?

STEVEN

You just did!

SLAPPY

I only called you fat!

STEVEN

Several times!

SLAPPY

 _Pssh._ You kids, so goddamned sensitive nowadays. Political correctness. I didn't mean anything by it. What, do you want me to pull a bundle of roses out of my ass for you?

STEVEN

(Raising his hand in the air)

That's it! Serious Steven! Activate!

SLAPPY

...Ehhh, what?

STEVEN

Slappy…we're going to be out here together for, like...for a really long time. So if you don't simmer down, you're going to be in for a rude, rude awakening-

SLAPPY

Who says? Your Mom?

 _(STEVEN opens his mouth to argue but something's off. He looks flustered)_

SLAPPY

What? Don't you have a Mom?

 _(STEVEN takes a deep breath. He looks away from SLAPPY. He struggles to hide that he's tearing up. SLAPPY raises her eyebrows, very confused._ _ABIGAIL wanders over. She looks at the two in confusion)_

ABIGAIL

What's going on here?

 _(STEVEN shakes his head and storms off. SLAPPY and ABIGAIL are left alone. ABIGAIL glares at SLAPPY)_

SLAPPY

 _(Breaking the silence)_

 _Pssh._ Push-over...

* * *

 _(Cut to ABIGAIL in a confessional)_

ABIGAIL

The old hag went hay-wire on belly-button boy. I don't jive with that. I mean, I got a sister at home who don't give me the time of day, so any bullying around here - nuh-uh - Abigail ain't going to swing for that, ya'll. So I figured I'd go over, see where Steven's head was at...

 _(Cut to the outskirts of CAMP. STEVEN is off in the woods. He's hunched over a BUSH for some reason, burying something in the SNOW. The tears are dried on his cold face. ABIGAIL hurries over. She cocks her head, confused. She approaches him)_

ABIGAIL

Steven, boy, what you doin'?

STEVEN

(Startled)

Get back! I can get...really aggressive and stuff...

 _(ABIGAIL shoulders STEVEN out of the way. She finds a bunch of CANDY in the SNOW that STEVEN is trying to bury. There's chocolate bars, sour candies, the whole nine yards. ABIGAIL picks up a CHOCOLATE BAR and scrutinizes it)_

ABIGAIL

Gummy bears? Cookie Cats?

STEVEN

(Snatching the BAR back)

I'm not cheating. I'm throwing it all away...

ABIGAIL

Well, then why'd you smuggle it?

STEVEN

I don't want to talk about it. I know. You're going to give me some...speech about not being perfect and hard on myself-

ABIGAIL

Well, of course there's such a thing as perfect. If there was, nobody would want to be anything they aren't already. But - I don't know - maybe you're a long way from perfect...

STEVEN

Get away from my candy! I told you : I'm getting rid of it...

ABIGAIL

I'm just saying: maybe you don't actually want to be out here...

STEVEN

You have no right to say that!

ABIGAIL

Yeah? What're you going to do?

 _(STEVEN glares at ABIGAIL. He glances down at his stomach. He unzips his PARKA and shows the EMERALD on his BELLY BUTTON. Without warning, STEVEN turns to the side and fires a LASER out of the EMERALD. It obliterates a TREE. The BRANCHES catch flame. The BARK is reduced to ash. ABIGAIL looks on in shock)_

STEVEN

Was that enough for you?

ABIGAIL

I didn't come here to pick on you...

STEVEN

Yeah, well, if you're trying to be a good liar, you're not perfect either...

ABIGAIL

I _like_ you. I've wanted to talk. I just wanted to see if you had game...

STEVEN

Do I?

ABIGAIL

That's for you to decide.

 _(She leans in closer)_

And if you don't trust me... You're the first person I've told I'm a fully-trained secret agent...

* * *

 _(Cut back to the CAMPFIRE. The sun is beginning to set. PEPE is still hard at work at the FIR. The OTHERS have left him. He strikes FLINT against a ROCK, struggling to get a spark)_

 _(Cut to PEPE in a confessional)_

PEPE

I have sat at ze fire for three hours. No light. Not a spark. But…I am persistent. I must impress the young people. I must...show them I am "cool."

 _(Cut back to the scene. PEPE grumbles as he strikes the FLINT. After a third strike, part of the FLINT breaks off. He groans and shivers in the cold)_

 _(Cut back to PEPE in a confessional)_

PEPE

I am not lazy American…sit around all day, eat potato chips. No, no. All my life…help _others._ Girl and boy, they like each other...so I help them get together. I am matchmaker. That is my calling. Love. Yes. Like the scent of fine chocolate sifting through ze open windows…the power of love…

 _(Cut to several minutes later. PANCHITO and STEVEN are now sitting together on the LOGS, watching as PEPE strikes the FLINT on the ROCK. PEPE listens to them talk, laughing together, joking around. PEPE looks a little left-out. He clears his throat and turns to them)_

PEPE

Would...would anyone like a copy of my book?

 _(PEPE reaches to his side and grabs the BOOK he was showing off earlier. He hands it to PANCHITO. PANCHITO looks at it with excitement. He flips through the pages)_

PANCHITO

Yes, yes, she is….how-you-say…. _excelente._ Good picture on the cover…

PEPE

You like what I wrote?

PANCHITO

I can't read.

(Cut back to PEPE in a confessional)

PEPE

Of course, on this tribe….I am not feeling ze love yet…but I will fight to be useful. Always others. Before myself...

 _(Cut to some time later. The sun has almost completely set. JACK and MARCELINE are now sitting on the LOGS. PEPE is much more irritable now, trying to get the FIRE started. He eavesdrops on JACK and MARCELINE's conversation)_

JACK

-And then she looked at me and said, "Jack, I know our afterlife has been wonderful together, but I only have an eternity left. I need to make the most of it. Then before we broke up, she tore off her index finger and gave it to me.

 _(He reaches into his SLEEVE and pulls out a ZOMBIE INDEX FINGER)_

And now…I'll give it to you…

MARCELINE

Are you sure? I….I feel kind of awkward …

JACK

Cherish it.

PEPE

(Turning to face them)

I am sensing a spark between you, no?

MARCELINE

(Awkward)

No, no – we're just – friends—

PEPE

(Stroking his chin)

Zees is…promising….

(Cut to PEPE in a confessional)

PEPE

Ze pull between ze two dead ones….it is insatiable. I will make their bond stronger. Bring out ze love. Then…I will have two allies….

 _(Cut back to the scene. PEPE strikes the ROCK again. This time however, something happens. There's a flash of light. Smoke begins to rise. MARCELINE jumps up in excitement, pointing at the ROCK)_

MARCELINE

Wait, Pepe, you've got a spark! You've got a spark!

PEPE

I did? _I did!_ EVERYONE, COME LOOK!

 _(The ENTIRE TRIBE hurries over to the FIRE. ABIGAIL kneels down hurriedly, blowing on the ROCK. The FIRE picks up. The WOOD catches FIRE. The KINDLING starts to burn, lighting up the pit, embers drifting up into the sky)_

PANCHITO

(Jumping up and down)

WE WON'T FREEZE! FIESTA! FIESTA!

SLAPPY

Now we've got to drag it into the igloo. Out of the way-

ABIGAIL

(Joking to PEPE)

Nice work, Frenchie. Now we can burn your book…

 _(Cut to PEPE smiling in a confessional)_

PEPE

At last….I am accepted….


	2. Do You Want To Build A Snowman? Part II

_(Cut to the SHOSHONE CAMP earlier that day. Sunlight streams through the PINE TREES. Birds chirp across the VALLEY._

 _Everyone is standing by their SLED, unloading SUPPLIES and carrying them off into a BIG PILE. CLEO, very loudly, directs everyone where to put everything)_

CLEO

Okay everyone, let's divide up the work evenly! The girls will go to the lake and go ice-fishing. The boys will build the shelter. Please, everyone remember your assigned tasks. I don't like to repeat myself-

BRIAN

What are you going to do?

CLEO

Oh, I'll remember in case you guys forget….

 _(Cut to BRIAN in a confessional)_

BRIAN

When I first got on this tribe, I was feeling very passionate. There's a lot of underdogs here…compared to the other tribe…and I want to see us kick some ass.

 _(He tries to smile, very forced)_

Then Cleo…started... _talking…._

* * *

 _(Cut to a little while later. WILT, BRIAN, SHIFTY, CLYDE, and CHESHIRE CAT are compacting a large pile of SNOW together. The goal seems to be to make an IGLOO. CLEO stands nearby. She surveys the scene but doesn't do anything to help)_

WILT

(Smiling)

Hey Cleo, how do you want the shelter built?

CLEO

Oh, we're going to be this snow-castle thing by connecting four different piles. I drew it out in my head. Really vividly. I have a really good design aesthetic. Actually, could someone get a stick so I can draw it for you?

 _(Cut to a little bit later. The outskirts of CAMP. SHIFTY and FLUTTERSHY walk together through a cluster of PINE TREES)_

SHIFTY

Yeah, so I'd venture a guess for first boot…

FLUTTERSHY

 _(Laughing)_

Yeah. She's kind of...rubbing me the wrong way. I mean, it's nothing against poodles …

SHIFTY

Hey, just letting you know, every poodle I've met walks with their nose in the air. She's just like the rest of them. If you're not groomed from head to toe, they won't give you the time of the day…

FLUTTERSHY

So...what do you do again?

SHIFTY

I run non-profits. For poor kids. Y'know, we, uh, get sneaker donations and stuff. Charity work...

FLUTTERSHY

(Shrugging)

That's sweet. I mean, I don't really do much of anything. I'm boring…

SHIFTY

Come on, what are you into?

FLUTTERSHY

Well, I actually take care of animals. They're really good company. I mean, they don't make eye contact….

SHIFTY

Am I good company?

 _(Pause. FLUTTERSHY steps back, a little nervous)_

I'm kidding.

 _(The sound of a shriek from the CAMPSITE. SHIFTY and FLUTTERSHY glance through the BUSHES and see the OTHERS back at CAMP. CLEO is upset over the state of the SHELTER. WILT, apparently, has stacked STICKS in the wrong position. CHESHIRE CAT stands nearby holding a LARGER BUNDLE of STICKS)_

WILT

(Still smiling)

Sorry, Cleo! Won't happen again!

CLEO

UNACCEPTABLE! WRONG! ALL WRONG! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE?

CHESHIRE CAT

FIFTY-TWO PICK-UP!

 _(CHESHIRE CAT drops the STICKS to the ground. He cackles and runs off in the other direction. The camera pans back to SHIFTY and FLUTTERSHY, having surveyed all of this)_

FLUTTERSHY

Um, what's his story?

SHIFTY

The cat? He seems insane. Go figure.

 _(He smiles at her)_

Anyway. Y'know, I don't like putting loyalties down on paper this early…but I was getting a good vibe from you…

FLUTTERSHY

 _(Giggling)_

I mean, you gave me a banana before…

SHIFTY

Yeah, I did. A scrumptious banana, wasn't it?

FLUTTERSHY

It had potassium…

 _(Awkward pause)_

SHIFTY

So compared to these other people, I mean…I don't know… _you_ just seem a little more genuine. And mature. So if we wanted to start something, like…I'd be fine…branching out from here…

FLUTTERSHY

Are you valuing my input?

SHIFTY

Who wouldn't?

FLUTTERSHY

 _(Blushing)_

Do...do you want to build a snowman?

 _(Cut to FLUTTERSHY in a confessional)_

FLUTTERSHY

And he said I'm his number one, and he collects sneakers for poor kids, and he has this, like…really charming smile. Oh my God…I hope I'm not boring…

* * *

 _(Cut to JOY in a confessional)_

JOY

My first order of business was to find a team mascot. I think mascots create a sense of team unity. And since we were in the wilderness, there were lots of animals to choose from!

 _(Cut to the outskirts of CAMP. JOY has scaled a large TREE. She's staring at an OWL on the HIGH BRANCHES. She smiles at it politely)_

JOY

Hello, bird-friend. My name is Joy. Do you want to come back to your camp?

 _(JOY reaches out to grab the OWL. It hoots and flaps its FEATHERS. JOY screams and goes tumbling out of the TREE, holding the OWL in her PALMS)_

 _(Cut to JOY in a confessional)_

JOY

I'm Joy. I'm an emotion. I generate happiness for an eleven-year old girl. Inside her head, I manage all behavioral events and budget cuts. So right away, I figured my experience would help me with leading our tribe…

 _(Cut back to the center of camp. Everyone is still working on the SHELTER - but now, there's clearly a lot of friction. They've constructed a strange structure out of ICE and STICKS that looks like it's going to crumble at any second. Everyone can see that CLEO's plan isn't going to work - not to mention the fact that it's getting late. JOY surveys everything with worry. She smiles and takes a step over toward CLEO)_

JOY

(To CLEO)

Cleo, I don't think this is working.

CLEO

Of course it's working.

JOY

Well, it looks like it's about to fall...

CLEO

Well, pick up more branches. It's going to be night soon and we're going to freeze. Then we'll have no shelter...

JOY

Well, maybe we could start on something else. Rather than…this…wouldn't it be easier just to build an _igloo_ or something? This is so elaborate here...

CLEO

No. Then we wouldn't have the _moat_ around the palace. Aren't you paying attention?

JOY

The…what?

CLEO

 _(Pointing to the SHELTER)_

This is where the first pillar's going. Then the second pillar. Then over here, there's the moat. I'm sorry Joy, I think there's a lapse in communication...

 _(Cut to JOY in a confessional)_

JOY

I'm kind of a control freak. And it's really hard being a control freak when…you're surrounded by control freaks.

 _(Cut back to the scene)_

JOY

But – I don't think this is very safe. Someone's going to end up getting killed—

CLEO

Have I ever steered you wrong?

JOY

What? I don't even _know_ you…

 _(Cut back to JOY in a confessional)_

JOY

There was just so commotion. People talking over each other. I just…don't do well with madness. I operate on a crisp, specified schedule. When everything's…unorganized…I just... _can't…._

 _(Cut back to the scene. Everyone is exhausted. BRIAN, clearly very annoyed, approaches CLEO)_

BRIAN

Cleo, this isn't going to work. It's a mess. We have to start over.

CLEO

Okay. Then I'll build it myself.

 _(Everyone forces a laugh. CLEO just stares blankly. They see she isn't being sarcastic)_

BRIAN

You have to be joking…

CLEO

Yeah. You can all build your igloo. Then I'll have my snow palace tomorrow and you'll all be clamoring to get inside. I've tried to make myself useful. You're just not having it...

 _(CLEO storms off in a huff. BRIAN is lost for words. JOY looks at the argument feebly. She smiles and raises the BABY OWL in her hands)_

JOY

 _(Feebly raising the BIRD)_

Excuse me, does anyone want to see our team mascot?

 _(Cut back to JOY in a confessional)_

JOY

I think I lack purpose. I mean, Riley – that's the girl who's head I live inside – she's getting older now. And I feel like I've been doing my job for so long. She's happy. _I'm_ happy. But…I just felt like I needed to do something for myself for once. You know?

 _(She takes a deep breath)_

But I just…need cooperation to function…

* * *

 _(Cut to several minutes later. Everyone is now working on a new SHELTER. It's much more practical and similar to the IGLOO that DAKOTA made._

 _CLEO, meanwhile, is still laboring on the OLD SHELTER. She's added more STICKS at strange angles. It looks like a bizarre jungle gym)_

JOY

 _(Desperate)_

Cleo, can you please come join the group? Please?

CLEO

(Yelling over)

SORRY, I WASN'T WANTED! I'M BUILDING MY SNOW PALACE!

 _(JOY sighs and turns back to the group. WILT, SHIFTY, FLUTTERSHY, BRIAN, CHESHIRE CAT, and CLYDE are hard at work on the IGLOO. CLYDE seems to be in the middle of a story. Everyone, however, seems very exasperated and isn't really listening)_

CLYDE

(Talking very fast)

So this other time we're chasing the yellow guy, and we corner him in the alley, we back him into a corner, y'know, ready to go in for the kill— but then out of nowhere, this shadow in the corner-

BRIAN

(Yawning)

Yeah, you told us already. You didn't catch him.

CLYDE

No. That was the other story.

BRIAN

Well, every story seems to end with you _not_ catching him. I'm just saying, a story needs to have resolution. I mean, if there's not resolution, the story just comes across as, like—

CLYDE

You making fun of me, wise-guy?

BRIAN

 _(Awkwardly)_

No. I'm just…offering input...

 _(Pause)_

I, uh, I'm writing a novel. If anyone wants to, like-

SHIFTY

Y'know Clyde, it would be easier if we started at the top of the igloo...

CLYDE

Yeah?

SHIFTY

I'm just saying – we could just dig down into the pile and put the fire there. Y'know?

CLYDE

Well, fine, you know best. Have at it, you schlep.

 _(Awkward silence. Nobody says anything. He turns back to the OTHERS)_

Anyway, where was I? The yellow guy?

 _(Cut to BRIAN in a confessional)_

BRIAN

There's a power struggle right now between Clyde and Shifty. It's like…Clyde's kind of an older version of Shifty – this fast-talking street smart type, I guess. And I don't think he wants Shifty to take his power away. But it's annoying. I feel hung over already…and it's not even Monday…

* * *

 _(Cut to CHESHIRE CAT in a confessional)_

CHESHIRE CAT

 _(Speaking in rhyme)_

In Wonderland, I do reside. I left my mind somewhere outside. I drift through shadows like a snake. Until I find more minds to take. I twist their thoughts like bright balloons. Until they're speechless. Like...buffoons…

 _(Cut to the outskirts of CAMP. CHESHIRE CAT has taken SHIFTY and FLUTTERSHY aside. He seems to be about to do a magic trick. FLUTTERSHY looks interested. SHIFTY looks like he couldn't care less)_

CHESHIRE CAT

Okay, okay, now give me your hat…

SHIFTY

That's a family heirloom. You better be careful with it.

 _(SHIFTY glares and hands the FEDORA over to CHESHIRE CAT)_

CHESHIRE CAT

Just a magic trick, my dear boy...And, voila…

 _(CHESHIRE CAT snaps his fingers. There's a puff of smoke. The HAT turns into a GREEN WATERING CAN. CHESHIRE CAT grins and hands it back to a shocked SHIFTY)_

SHIFTY

You...you turned my fedora into a watering can!

CHESHIRE CAT

Water for your brain…

SHIFTY

What?

CHESHIRE

 _"Through your ears, to your brain, nothing there, all in vain!"_

 _(CHESHIRE CAT cackles and runs off. SHIFTY steps forward, ready to punch him in the face. FLUTTERSHY stops him by grabbing his arm)_

FLUTTERSHY

It's okay, Shifty. You can wear it on your head still…

SHIFTY

That stupid cat! Once I get my hands on him - I'll - I'll-

FLUTTERSHY

Don't lose your temper!

SHIFTY

Yeah, yeah, what do _you_ know? Stupid kid...

(Pause)

Eh, sorry. That slipped. Um, that hat's important to me, you know?

FLUTTERSHY

Well, at least now I can see your eyes more. Do you have, like…a glass eye or something?

SHIFTY

Why?

FLUTTERSHY

Your eyes seem…stiff….like they don't reach your smile.

SHIFTY

 _(Grinning)_

What, what, you trashing on my good looks now?

FLUTTERSHY

No, sorry—

SHIFTY

It's fine, kid. It's fine. Now, here's what I'm thinking. That old man, the orange ghost, he's kind of bossy, isn't he? So throw him to the fishes. I'm thinking you, me…and the girls….

FLUTTERSHY

Joy and Cleo? But they don't like each other…

SHIFTY

All the more better to make that _worse..._

* * *

 _(Cut to CLYDE in a confessional)_

CLYDE

I need a cigar. I need a glass of whiskey with a power pellet. Shifty's driving me up the wall. Smart-ass kid, acting like he knows better? Well, we'll see about that. I'm making a counter-alliance...

 _(Cut to the center of CAMP. WILT is humming to himself, constructing something near the SHELTER with a NET and A POLE. It resembles a BASKETBALL HOOP. CLYDE is standing nearby, chest puffed out, trying to look tough. They're in the middle of a conversation)_

WILT

I mean, I _liked_ your stories, Clyde. I thought they were great…

CLYDE

Yeah, yeah, I don't dwell on the past. What do you doing there?

WILT

Oh. Well, I saw a bunch of netting in the sled, so I figured I'd build a basketball hoop. That way, we can stay in shape for challenges.

 _(He picks up a RUBBER BALL from the SLED. He throws it to CLYDE)_

Here, old-timer. Let's shoot some baskets….

CLYDE

I guess I'm obliged…

 _(CLYDE and WILT pass the BASKETBALL back and forth as they talk. Every so often, they shoot a BASKET)_

WILT

So are you an imaginary friend? Like me?

CLYDE

No, I'm a ghost monster.

WILT

So you're dead?

CLYDE

No. I'm alive. Unfortunately. Listen, I think Shifty's pulling in the girls…

WILT

(Smiling)

Well, he's good-looking. He looks like he flosses daily. Good for him!

CLYDE

You're not disturbed by that?

WILT

Why?

CLYDE

Wilt, that's half the tribe! Half! If he pulls in the girls, it could be over right there!

WILT

I mean, I guess...

CLYDE

Why aren't you worried?

WILT

I mean, I get the whole scheming thing must be fun for you. But it's not really the code I play by. Really, I'm just…physical. I can shoot a basketball from a hundred feet. And I'm pretty darn flexible too. So my hope was…to just rely on that, you know?

CLYDE

You're going to try to play Survivor without _lying?_

WILT

 _(Shrugging)_

I mean – I'll have your back – or, like – I'll try to—but—

CLYDE

But just for protection. You, me, Brian, and that psycho cat – I think we should just stay together. People are going to cut your throat…so you might as well grow a backbone!

WILT

(Looking around)

Say, speaking of which…where is Brian?

* * *

 _(Cut to BRIAN far away from CAMP. He marches through the PINE TREES, glancing up at the HIGH BRANCHES above him. The sun blares down on him from above, illuminating the SNOW. He takes a breath and keeps jogging)_

BRIAN

I've watched this show enough to know what's coming. Sooner or later, they're going to give us a hidden immunity idol clue. So while everyone was still getting acquainted…I figured I'd scout out the area and look…

 _(Cut to BRIAN reaching a fork in a path - left or right. He pauses fro a moment. Then he nods and takes off right)_

 _(Cut back to BRIAN in a confessional)_

BRIAN

I kind of went through a slump recently. I'd get up in the morning, and I'd look around, and I'd think, 'Okay, this is it? I'm seven in dog years. What's next?" I've spent half my time rewriting the same screenplay and drinking myself to death. So I told myself, hey, how about a little less self-pity...

 _(Cut back to the scene. BRIAN has reached an open CLEARING. There's a twisted LOG in the center. He bends underneath it, checking inside. Nothing. He clicks his tongue and looks around the area)_

BRIAN

It's got to be here somewhere…

 _(Cut to BRIAN in a confessional)_

BRIAN

When I turned around the bend, I saw this big cave hidden around the bend. And when I peeked inside...

 _(Cut back to the scene. BRIAN shoulders his way through the TREES. He approaches a LARGE CAVE. There's STALAGMITES and CRYSTALS hanging from the high entrance. He squints up. His heart skips a beat at the sight of a HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL tied to one of the CRYSTALS)_

BRIAN

(Muttering to himself)

It's up there. But how am I going to get up there?

WILT

(Calling in the distance)

Hey Brian! Where you at, buddy?

BRIAN

God damn it. Why wasn't I born as a cat? Coming!

 _(BRIAN nods and takes off. The camera pans in on the IMMUNITY IDOL glowing in the sunlight)_

* * *

 _(Cut to the CHALLENGE the following morning._

 _We capture an aerial shot of a large OBSTACLE COURSE. It starts with a large, snowy HILL leading down to TWO WALLS - one GREEN, one BLUE. There is a POLE at the top of each WALL with a COLORED BEAN BAG fastened to it. After this, there's a LONG TUNNEL that digs beneath the SNOW. Finally, there's two SHOOTING GALLERIES set up at the very end - each hosting an array of SNOW GLOBES on a rack. A SLINGSHOT is tied to a POST next to each SHOOTING GALLERY._

 _We zoom in on the HOST standing on his USUAL MAT...)_

HOST

Come on in, guys!

 _(The DAKOTAS enter first. PEPE carries their RED FLAG and jams it down in the Earth. SHOSHONE enters next, led by CLYDE with a GREEN FLAG. Everyone takes their spots on their MATS, ready to get started)_

HOST

You guys ready to get to your first immunity challenge?

 _(Everyone cheers, applauds)_

All right, here's how it's going to work. You're going to be tied together with a series of rope. Your goal is traverse this entire obstacle course. At the end, one member of your tribe will be selected to shoot the snow-globes down from that shooting gallery. Whoever clears their snow-globes wins immunity. Losers? A date with me at Tribal Council…where the first person will be voted out of this game. Ready to get started? Let's go…

* * *

 _(Cut to several minutes later. EACH TRIBE stands at the top of the HILL. They've been connected together with a ROPE - green for SHOSHONE, red for DAKOTA. The HOST stands on his MAT, his hand raised in the air)_

 _HOST_

 _SURVIVORS READY? GO!_

 _(The TWO TRIBES take off from the starting line. SHIFTY leads the way for SHOSHONE, the OTHERS following in their line of ROPE. They charge down the HILL, heading for the OBSTACLE COURSE. Everyone, more or less, is keeping an even pace._

 _DAKOTA is another story. SLAPPY charges ahead of the group, regardless of the fact that she's in the back. The KNOT becomes tangled. Everyone is thrust backwards, struggling to keep up with her)_

STEVEN

Slappy! Stop! Stop!

SLAPPY

They're gaining, dimwits! Hurry up!

 _(The entire DAKOTA TRIBE slips. They go tumbling down the HILL in a mess of limbs. PANCHITO slides into SLAPPY's legs, causing her to somersault to the ground. Everyone slides down the hill, discombobulated, bonking into each other. They reach the bottom covered in ice and snow._

 _SHOSHONE, meanwhile, has reached the bottom of the HILL. They glance up at their FIRST OBSTACLE – the MASSIVE BRICK WALL with the BEAN BAG hanging on top._

HOST

Absolute disaster for Dakota! Slappy forces her way ahead, dragging her entire tribe down with her! Shoshone has taken the lead!

SLAPPY

 _(Yelling at the OTHERS)_

What are you, scared of a little frostbite? Get up!

 _(DAKOTA struggles to their feet. Now, however, their ROPE has been constricted. Everyone is tied in different directions. PANCHITO and PEPE struggle to unknot themselves, trying to find the origin of the tangle._

 _MARCELINE is frightened, impatient, looking over at SHOSHONE's success. STEVEN, MANDY, and ABIGAIL are hard at work, trying to untie another section. JACK, meanwhile, is still laughing on the ground – having the time of his life)_

 _STEVEN_

(To the OTHERS)

It doesn't matter! We have to go through the challenge like this! They're going to win…

 _(STEVEN helps ABIGAIL to her feet. They step forward together, urging the OTHERS along. It's a cluster of people in opposite directions. They side-step awkwardly, trying to make their way to the FIRST WALL)_

 _(SHOSHONE, on the other side, is now scaling the WALL…._

 _(SHIFTY, WILT, and CLYDE have already made their way over. CLYDE holds the GREEN BEAN BAG to his chest. BRIAN flips his body over the WALL, ploppingdown on the other side. The OTHERS follow soon after._

 _(Back on the other side, STEVEN climbs on top of PEPE's shoulders. He hops off, trying to scale himself over the WALL. He snags the BEAN BAG on top, tumbling to the other side. Unfortunately, this only makes things worse. With everyone so close together, everyone is raised into the air. They're left dangling in the air, trapped like a barrel of monkeys)_

HOST

Dakota! A complete unorganized disaster! Whenever anyone tries to pull ahead, they just create a bigger mess! You guys have to pull it together!

 _(ABIGAIL, second in line, struggles to pull her way over the wall. But because everyone is tangled, she pulls three times her body weight. PANCHITO, third in line behind her, is hovering in the air. He scrapes the ground with his legs, trying not to be hoisted into the air…_

 _SHOSHONE, on the other side, is now clearing the second obstacle – the LONG TUNNEL. Everyone army crawls their way through the SNOW, vanishing into the PIPE beneath the ground. Slowly, they approach the FINAL OBSTACLE – the SNOWGLOBE SHOOTING GALLERY._

 _MARCELINE watches them on DAKOTA. She glares, trying to calculate what to do. He looks down at the OTHERS, searching for a plan. Then she looks at JACK – the very last in line, although at this point, it's hard to tell. He's sitting in the SNOW, humming some sort of CHRISTMAS SONG to himself. She looks out at the SHOOTING GALLERY. Then back at JACK. Slowly, a smile spreads across her face)_

MARCELINE

Hey Jack, it's time for your show!

JACK

Show? Why, this is no place for a show! In fact – this looks like some kind of game show-

MARCELINE

No! No! They want you to…um…see those snow-globes over there? The cameras are over there...and they're going to film you cracking them-

JACK

Say no more, my queen!

 _(JACK cracks his fingers. Without warning, he begins to scale the wall. Miraculously, with the strength of the undead, he heaves his body weight over the wall. It's enough to send ABIGAIL tumbling over as well, followed by PANCHITO. The burden is lifted. The DAKOTA TRIBE, finally, begins to make their way over the WALL – but they don't have any time to rest)_

JACK

Come, my adoring fans!

MARCELINE

(Yelling at the OTHERS)

You heard, the man! The one, the only –

 _(She makes a ROCK SIGN with her hands)_

 _"Jack Skellingtonnnnnn!'_

 _(JACK begins to sprint across the ICE. Without warning, everyone else is dragged after him. They tumble along in a mismatched line, still getting tangled, but now being completely pulled by JACK._

 _He skips along joyfully, making his way to the tunnel. He whistles, "Deck The Halls." Then he kneels down and crawls through the TUNNEL, army crawling as fast as he can. The OTHERS scramble along behind him, trying to keep up)_

HOST

Um, I have no idea what's going on…but Jack is very, very quickly making up ground for Dakota!

CLYDE

 _(Glancing over)_

What? They made it back? Wilt, shoot the snow globes—

 _(Over on the SHOSHONE SIDE, WILT very quickly grabs the SLINGSHOT at the his STATION. He loads his PEBBLE into it and aims carefully. He loads a pebble and pulls the string back. There's an explosion of GLASS and WATER as one of the SNOWGLOBES on the table breaks apart)_

HOST

Wilt hits one for Shoshone! Two more to go!

SLAPPY

(Turning to the OTHERS)

Okay, okay, I've got nimble fingers, kids.—

PANCHITO

(Blocking SLAPPY)

No, no Senora! You have ruined our chances! You will step nowhere near the Christmas ornaments!

SLAPPY

(Jabbing him in the chest)

What the heck have _you_ ever destroyed – a piñata?

MARCELINE

 _(Smiling in excitement)_

Jack's got this…

 _(JACK whistles as he loads the first PEBBLE. He smiles and takes aim at the first SNOWGLOBE. MARCELINE is thrilled, biting her nails with her fangs. STEVEN and ABIGAIL stand side-by-side, excited, ready to cheer him on._

 _SLAPPY is miffed, looking away, realizing she caused the tribe's early downfall._

 _PANCHITO waves his sombrero in the air, blowing with his fingers._

 _PEPE smirks at the OTHER TRIBE and blows a kiss, raising his eyebrows. He draws a heart in the air with his fingers._

 _MANDY looks concerned, glancing at the HOST, looking at the time they have left. It seems clear, for some reason, that something is wrong – and as it turns out, she has the right to be worried._

 _JACK frowns, looking out at the SNOWGLOBES. He glances unsurely at the OTHERS. Then he shrugs and places the SLINGSHOT down)_

MARCELINE

What's wrong, Jack?

JACK

Why, these are Christmas ornaments…

MARCELINE

No Jack, they're _targets._

JACK

But… I love Christmas…

MANDY

 _(Astounded)_

Oh my God, can I please switch tribes?

 _(On SHOSHONE, WILT fires another PEBBLE. It smashes through TWO SNOWGLOBES at once, finishing off their targets…._

 _SHOSHONE launches into celebration. WILT runs back to the OTHERS, jumping for joy, pulling them into a hug. Even JOY and CLEO wrap their arms around each other, ecstatic…._

 _The HOST, on his MAT, raises his hand in the air…_

 _HOST_

That's it! Shoshone wins immunity!

* * *

 _(Cut to several minutes later. Everyone stands back on their original MATS. The HOST smiles as he crosses to the SHOSHONE TRIBE, handing the IMMUNITY NECKLACE to SHIFTY. Rather than putting in on, SHIFTY quickly fastens it around FLUTTERSHY's neck. He claps her on the BACK. She blushes)_

SHIFTY

Good job…

FLUTTERSHY

It was nothing…

HOST

Shoshone, safe at Tribal Council. Dakota, I've got nothing for you. Tonight, one of you will be the first person voted out of this game. But before we leave, let's make things a little interesting. One member of Shoshone…will be choosing _one_ member of Dakota to be sent to Exile Island. You'll be stranded there alone…no rations, no supplies, nothing. However, this will make you _ineligible_ to be voted out tonight.

 _(He smiles at the SHOSHONES)_

To decide…we'll-

BRIAN

Be drawing rocks?

HOST

(Scratching his head)

Crap. Um, the guy with the rocks…he actually didn't come to work today. So…we'll just …okay, let's pick a number between one and a one-hundred.

WILT

Um, fifty-six?

CLEO

Twelve?

FLUTTERSHY

Nine?

JOY

Uh, seventy-eight?

HOST

That's it! Joy, got it! Seventy-nine! Right, so uh, who do you choose?

CLEO

(Stepping forward)

Someone else should do it. She's a pushover...

JOY

 _(Defiant, stepping forward)_

Slappy blew the early lead. That should give them an easy reason to vote her out. So…we're going to make things interesting. Rather than give them an early boot…we'll let them struggle. We're going to send Slappy to Exile Island…

HOST

You heard them. Slappy, head over to the helicopter. Enjoy the night…

SLAPPY

(Winking)

Oh, I'm sure _they_ will too….

 _(SLAPPY whistles and walks off. The DAKOTA TRIBE looks absolutely devastated. JACK smiles vacantly at them)_

JACK

I do apologize for the lack of a show today. But if you'd like me to shoot pumpkins...I'd be happy to!

 _(MANDY growls and storms off. Everyone else follows - PANCHITO, STEVEN, PEPE, and ABIGAIL. MARCELINE glances sadly at JACK. She takes his hand and guides him out after the OTHERS)_

 _(The camera pans over to the SHOSHONE TRIBE. JOY is still staring at the DAKOTAS, a little crestfallen, watching as they march off. CLEO stands behind her. She clears her throat and tries to smile at JOY)_

CLEO

I didn't think you had that in you…

 _(JOY turns. She locks eyes with CLEO, staring her down)_

JOY

Well, to feel joy…sometimes you have to let your anger out first…


	3. Do You Want To Build A Snowman? Part III

_(Cut to MARCELINE in a confessional)_

MARCELINE

I feel bad for Jack. He's like…this stuffed bunny that I stroked and took care of...and now I'm afraid everyone's going to vote him out. I wish I didn't have empathy. But I'd probably be a crappier musician...

 _(Cut to the center of the DAKOTA CAMP. Everyone is gathered around the CAMPFIRE, very dejected after the CHALLENGE. JACK stands center, smiling at all of them. Nobody is making eye contact with him - not even MARCELINE)_

JACK

Um, if I did something wrong, I'd like to know what it was…..

MANDY

It's _your_ fault we lost the challenge, idiot!

JACK

Y'know, I can understand acquired taste, but I'm doing my best here. I was brought here to perform for you and I intend to do it. If you don't like it, well, that's your prerogative. And I'm not going to destroy a snow globe. They're beautiful...

 _(MANDY sighs and gets up. She paces back and forth. The OTHERS watch her)_

MANDY

Okay. I get it now. This is an experiment. This is all an experiment to see if I lose my mind….

PANCHITO

 _(Breaking the tension)_

Does…does anybody want a song to lighten the mood?

 _(He strums his GUITAR)_

 _"We lose the challenge…but life will go onnnnnnn…"_

 _(MANDY grabs PANCHITO's GUITAR and chucks it off into the distance. Everyone looks on in shock)_

MANDY

You were playing in the wrong key….

* * *

 _(Cut to the SHELTER. ABIGAIL and STEVEN are gathered inside the IGLOO together, hunched over a SCROLL of PAPER. ABIGAIL is scribbling on it with a PEN._

 _The PAPER is full of their TRIBES' names and different arrows pointing in different directions. STEVEN looks very annoyed for some reason. ABIGAIL seems to be doing all the talking)_

ABIGAIL

"You likin'...what's his name, the bird? Panch-er-ito?

STEVEN

Yeah, he's nice...and funny.

ABIGAIL

Okay, cuz' I've seen him floatin' around a lot. And y'know, remember what I said, you got to be cautious...

STEVEN

But Abbie—

ABIGAIL

Uh-uh! No, Steven! No buts! Remember, I told you: my intuition, off-the-chart. I'm an excellent judge of character. So don't worry, you don't have to think. I can think _for_ you. Now, let's see here: Panchito….

 _(ABIGAIL scribbles a QUESTION MARK next to PANCHITO's name. Down the list, most of the other names have either question marks or notes beside them)_

STEVEN

Abigail, I...I don't think that's right...

ABIGAIL

Oh, you're right...

 _(ABIGAIL adds the upside-down SPANISH QUESTION MARK at the front of PANCHITO's name. Then she turns to STEVEN and smiles)_

ABIGAIL

There...

 _(Cut to STEVEN in a confessional)_

STEVEN

So, Abbie's kind of a control freak. She thinks because she's a secret agent, she can like...micro-manage me and tell me what to do. I mean, I can be tough too. I kind of want to impress but her, but at the same time, she's starting to drive me crazy. I can't have a coherent thought without her trying to take over….

 _(Cut back to the scene. STEVEN looks visibly annoyed. ABIGAIL picks up on it. She frowns at him and nudges his shoulder)_

ABIGAIL

Yo Steve. You chill with me, right?

STEVEN

I mean...do you care about what I say?

ABIGAIL

Yeah. I like you too...

STEVEN

No...that's...that's not what I meant, Abbie...

 _(STEVEN shakes his head and reaches into his SLEEVE. He pulls out a CANDY BAR and unwraps it. He shows it to ABIGAIL - it's a chocolate bar, two different ones fused together)_

STEVEN

See...see the double chocolate guavo bar? Together, they're a scrumptious delicacy, but torn apart...

 _(He breaks the CHOCOLATE apart)_

They're just single commodities. We have to work together. You have to care about what I'm telling you. I mean, I have ideas too….

ABIGAIL

Well, I didn't mean to step on your toes...

STEVEN

It's fine. Just, yknow, I have thoughts. Opinions—

ABIGAIL

Good. Well, I'm glad we at least feel the same way about Panchito...

 _(Cut to STEVEN's face. He looks dismayed with her response)_

* * *

 _(Cut to the center of CAMP. PANCHITO sits on the LOG, face in his hands, very depressed. His GUITAR sits discarded behind him. PEPE glares out at the horizon, huddled up, trying to keep warm. He looks like he's in deep in thought)_

PANCHITO

I am a lover, Senor. Not a fighter. I don't want to vote anyone out...

PEPE

Be strong, my friend. For love to triumph...at times...at times...there must be aggression. Passion. It's in the fourth chapter of my book...

 _(The camera pans over to the other LOG. MANDY is revealed to be sitting nearby. She has a BOOK in her LAP and she's flipping through it. A closer look reveals it to be PEPE's DATING GUIDE. PEPE glances over, making the connection. He frowns at her)_

PEPE

Mandy, what are you doing?

MANDY

(Ignoring him)

Reading.

PEPE

Well, you should be keeping the fire going...

MANDY

I have a question. You say in chapter five that the best way to win a woman's heart is to come into her backyard riding a horse and play her a song on an acoustic guitar...

PEPE

You beg to differ?

MANDY

If a guy tried that, I'd call the cops…

PEPE

Do not mock my book!

MANDY

I'm not. Everyone's so goddamn serious...

 _(MANDY tosses the BOOK to PEPE. She rolls her eyes and walks away)_

 _PEPE_

(After a moment)

I don't like the young people...

PANCHITO

I am young...? Aren't I?

PEPE

They mock me at every turn. They ridicule my book. I try to vibe with them. Be cool. But it is no good. They are out to get me. I know it. I can feel it—

PANCHITO

I don't know. Aren't you being a little paranoid?

PEPE

Look at me! You must assert yourself-

PANCHITO

Lying makes my feathers stand up...

PEPE

Do you want the money? Don't you want to be a millionaire? Don't you want gorgeous women to wait on you hand and foot?

PANCHITO

Of course I do! But can't we just...vote out the weakest?

PEPE

 _(After a moment)_

Is there a way I can make this easier for you?

 _(Cut to a little while later. PANCHITO has constructed a PINATA out of CLOTH and STRAW. It hangs from A TREE BRANCH with a THORNY ROPE. The PINATA is stuffed with PIECES of PAPER with different names. PEPE stands nearby, very irritably, blindfolded, holding a STICK. PANCHITO stands nearby with a big smile on his face)_

PANCHITO

Okay, hit the piñata...

PEPE

This is ridiculous...

PANCHITO

No, this way...the vote is not malicious. There will be nobody angry at me. Go on, hit it.

 _(PEPE smacks the PINATA. Part of it breaks open. A SCRAP of PAPER falls out and sails in the WIND. PEPE takes off his BLINDFOLD and picks it up)_

PANCHITO

Okay, which name is it?

PEPE

Pepe...

PANCHITO

Okay...then pick a different one...

* * *

 _(Cut to the FROZEN LAKE. MANDY sits alone in the middle of the ICE. She has a PILE of FISH beside her and is working on skinning them. The image, alone, is rather creepy. STEVEN approaches the side of the LAKE. He glances out at her, a little concerned. Then he forces a smile and walks over)_

STEVEN

Hey Mandy, what are you doing?

MANDY

Making friends...

STEVEN

Well, fish aren't good friends. Fish can't talk...

MANDY

That's why they're good friends. Come over here Steven, sit with me...

STEVEN

(Nervous)

Are you, like...one of those girls that eats spiders and dissects animals?

MANDY

Forget that. Why are you here?

STEVEN

I was just wondering...where your head was at? You know, I've liked you. Um, so far. Like, what do you think about our tribe?

MANDY

Well, with the exception of _you_ maybe...I've found a reason to dislike pretty much everybody. I _hate_ Pepe. I hate Panchito for following him around. Marceline and Jack are annoying with their cutesy crap. And Abigail's a tyrant...

STEVEN

Well - I think - you're kind of judging them, aren't you?

MANDY

Well, she keeps - trying to like - force friendship. I mean, _you_ don't do that. That's why I was waiting for you to come to me. I think you're genuine…

STEVEN

Well, who would you want to vote out then? I think Jack's a liability right now...but we should keep an eye on Abigail if we lose again. I get that she's...kind of overbearing. I mean, personally, like if we lost another challenge—

MANDY

What was your first clue? She sucks.

STEVEN

But..I like her too. That's what I was getting at….

MANDY

Well, she's trying to take control of the tribe. She's hot-headed, aggressive, stupid...and utterly devoid of self-awareness...

STEVEN

I mean, I'd agree….

ABIGAIL

Cool.

 _(The camera pans over to reveal ABIGAIL standing on the edge of the LAKE. She glares at STEVEN. Her face is blank. No expression. She shrugs and walks away. STEVEN is horrified. He gets up and takes off after her)_

STEVEN

ABBIE! WAIT! MY MOUTH CAME BEFORE MY BRAIN!

 _(Stiff silence. MANDY glances down at the PILE of DEAD FISH)_

MANDY

I much prefer fish to people...

* * *

 _(Cut to the outskirts of CAMP. ABIGAIL sits alone on a ROCK in the woods. STEVEN approaches her from behind. She sharpens a STICK with a ROCK. Her face has absolutely no expression)_

STEVEN

I...I didn't mean it...

ABIGAIL

 _(Quietly)_

Nobody's perfect. What, you think I'm mad at you? Sit down, man….

STEVEN

But I don't want you to feel bad...

ABIGAIL

Everyones voting out Jack tonight, right? So who cares? Steven, I'm not like other people. Okay? I'm tough. I don't care if you don't like me. I can still work with you. This isn't like real life….

STEVEN

But I care….I _care_ that you don't care. I find that disturbing—

ABIGAIL

 _(Staring him down)_

Don't….

* * *

 _(Cut to the center of camp. PEPE seems to be setting up for some kind of dinner. He has organized two WINE GLASSES on a STUMP. He sits in front of the FIRE grilling a FISH, whistling to himself, minding his business. MANDY wanders in from the side. She sighs and walks up to him)_

MANDY

 _(With difficulty)_

Pepe, I'm sorry I insulted your book. Can we talk?

PEPE

Be gone, little girl. Go...go play with spiders or whatever. I must prepare the feast...

MANDY

What's on the menu? Your ego?

 _(MARCELINE walks in. She stares at the WINE GLASSES on the STUMP)_

MARCELINE

Pepe, what are you doing?

PEPE

It is a surprise, my darling. But...perhaps you and Jack should come here together? At...six-o-clock... _no?_

MARCELINE

Are you giving Jack and I a candlelight dinner to try to make us hook up because you want us to align?

PEPE

Well, when you put it that way….

MARCELINE

Well...I have nothing else to do...

 _(MARCELINE shrugs and walks off)_

MANDY

You can't be serious...

PEPE

Enough of you! You throw my book! You mock me when I try to start fire! Well, enough of that! I know what you young people are up to! I have no business with you. This is my game to win. Then I will be millionaire….

MANDY

Actually, I think you do have business with us. Abigail wants to blindside you...

(Cut to MANDY in a confessional)

MANDY

Yeah, I know. Abigail didn't say anything. But nobody's throwing out names yet and I'm sick and tired of her dragging Steven around. I want to shift the whole tribe against her so we can vote her out. Pepe's not a threat at this point, so depending on what he wants, I can probably get people to swing to Abigail….

(Cut back to the scene)

PEPE

 _(Appalled)_

AH-HAH! YES! I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WERE CAMPAIGNING FOR ME!

MANDY

Yes! That's why I'm flipping? Get it, idiot?

PANCHITO

But...you are _friends_ with Abigail. Why would you-

MANDY

Just because...just because two people are the same age, just because they're girls, that doesn't mean they're _friends._ I don't want anything to do with her. I have my reasons. I'll flip. I'll help you vote her out. All right...?

PEPE

What have they said about me?

MANDY

I don't know.

PEPE

They haven't...mocked my book, have they?

MANDY

You're what, like forty-years old? Why do you _care_?

PEPE

Forty is young! Not old!

MANDY

Okay, Pepe. _Okay._ I'm not going to argue. Just...vote out Abigail tonight, all right? You'll thank me later...

PEPE

With Jack, Marceline, and Panchito...?

MANDY

You read my mind...

* * *

 _(Cut to several minutes later. MANDY stands outside the IGLOO. She peeks in and sees ABIGAIL huddled up, trying to keep warm in her PARKA. She studies her intently, watching, almost considering going in...but she doesn't. She looks at ABIGAIL's face. Something has changed. Alone now, processing STEVEN's words, she's allowed her feelings to come out._

 _ABIGAIL sniffles quietly. She brushes her eyes, trying to maintain composure)_

ABIGAIL

(Muttering to herself)

Stay cool. Stay cool. You're better than all of them….

 _MANDY sits against the IGLOO outside, listening to ABIGAIL crying inside._ _Slowly, a smile spreads across MANDY's face)_

* * *

 _(Cut to PEPE in a confessional)_

PEPE

I decided to use Marceline and Jack's budding romance as an advantage. To make them align as true lovers so we can all get along enough so we can all vote out Abigail. They'll thank me for playing matchmaker and trust me. And what better way to make them fall in love...than a candlelit dinner?

 _(Cut to the center of CAMP. MARCELINE and JACK sit awkwardly on the LOGS. On the STUMP set out in front of them, there are two plates of GRILLED FISH, a basket of BREAD ROLLS, and two GLASSES OF WINE. PEPE stands nearby, smiling, supervising all of this. PANCHITO stands beside their TABLE with a PITCHER of WINE, apparently taking on the role of a WAITER)_

 _PANCHITO_

A sip of red wine, Marceline...?

MARCELINE

(Annoyed)

No thank you. It reminds me of blood.

PEPE

So talk about Abigail. You don't like her, right? That sneaky girl. Talk, talk…

MARCELINE

Pepe, is this just a transparent attempt to turn us against her?

PEPE

Such a joker! You pick the funny ones, Jack! Panchito, more wine...

PANCHITO

(Pouring more WINE)

Si, Senor...

PEPE

(Nudging JACK)

Speak up, my friend. Ask the lady questions. Get to know her...

JACK

(Nervous)

Um, Marceline... if you were stranded in a graveyard during a full moon, would you rather be attacked by a werewolf or a succubus?

MARCELINE

I don't know. Maybe you should ask Pepe...

PEPE

But Madame, this is not my date.

MARCELINE

Yeah, well, I'm not a refined lady.

 _(MARCELINE snatches the GLASS of WINE. She slurps all the color out of it. The red becomes an absent, washed-out grey. She burps and wipes her lips. Then she gets up from the LOG)_

MARCELINE

Sorry Jack, I'm calling a cab...

 _(MARCELINE gets up and walks away. PEPE looks concerned. PANCHITO turns to him, very annoyed)_

PANCHITO

I feel like...you made a mistake...

(Cut to MARCELINE in a confessional)

MARCELINE

Okay, that was funny at first. Now I'm just annoyed. Time to kick Pepe's ass….

* * *

 _(Cut to the IGLOO. ABIGAIL is curled up inside, resting on a PILLOW, struggling to get some sleep. MARCELINE crawls in. She sees that ABIGAIL looks distraught. She frowns. She taps her on the shoulder)_

MARCELINE

Hey. 's wrong?

ABIGAIL

Nothing. I got snow in my eye...

MARCELINE

Good. You missed Frenchy's candlelit dinner. Get this: he tried to play matchmaker with Jack and I! What a freak, right? I mean, I thought he was a freak before; now he's just a freakier one.

ABIGAIL

Yeah, well, I don't know. To me, you're all pretty shady. I've had a lot of suspicions…

MARCELINE

Shady? It's probably in the eyeliner, kid, But y'know, Pepe has been shooting for you...

ABIGAIL

SAY WHAT?

MARCELINE

You didn't _know?_ Well, good thing I told you then! Come, let's blindside Pepe. It would be funny. We'll bring in Mandy. He'll get his ass kicked by a bunch of girls. Comedy gold…

ABIGAIL

I don't know about Mandy yet—

MARCELINE

Ooh, did you guys have a catfight?

ABIGAIL

No.

MARCELINE

Did she steal your boyfriend? Did she copy off your spelling test? Come on, what is it?

ABGAIL

You know what, Marceline? Stop. Stop demeaning me like that. I'm not a little girl. Don't talk down to me like I'm your little puppy. You want to blindside Pepe? We'll do it. You, me. Jack...and _Steven._ But leave Mandy out of it. I'm not sure if I trust her yet….

MARCELINE

 _(Grinning at her)_

Works for me, home-slice. Works for me...

* * *

 _(Cut to the outskirts of CAMP. STEVEN is chopping at a SMALL PINE TREE with an AX. ABIGAIL hurries up behind him, pulling him to the side. She touches his BELLY in the process. STEVEN jumps back, frightened, protective of the GEM in his STOMACH)_

STEVEN

Don't do that! My belly-button's temperamental!

ABIGAIL

We've got to talk-

STEVEN

I told you. I didn't mean it. Mandy started it-

ABIGAIL

I don't care. Hate me, boy. It's fine. I'd align with somebody who hated me. As long as it got me to the end. Here's what we have to do. Mandy's with Pepe. They want to vote _me_ o ut. If we flip with Jack and Marceline...we can blindside Pepe—

STEVEN

What about Panchito?

ABIGAIL

Who cares? What about him?

STEVEN

Now you're sounding like Mandy...

ABIGAIL

Or you can throw me to the trash. That's fine too...

STEVEN

Y'know what, have a guavo bar...

 _(STEVEN reaches into his SLEEVE. He offers a chocolate guavo bar to ABIGAIL)_

ABIGAIL

What is this? You trying to barter with me?

STEVEN

I don't think it's right to talk about people behind their backs. So consider this a peace offering. I'll give you the guavo bar, and from now on, we're friends….

ABIGAIL

Steven, you can't be friends with anyone out here—

STEVEN

I didn't mean it, Abbie.

ABIGAIL

No. You don't get it. You really can't. I don't care that you don't like me. Really, I've dealt with more crap than you. I've handled more. I'm strong enough to see past it. Right now, working with you is to my benefit…

STEVEN

I liked you. I wanted to be your friend….

ABIGAIL

Stop harping on that-

STEVEN

I know you're upset! Come on, stop putting up this…this wall—

ABIGAIL

I didn't come out here to make friends! I'm trained in espionage. Spy-talk. When I need to go out and get something, my feelings disappear. It's just who I am. I'm here to win. I'm here to play. I'm here to get what I want. And if you keep being such a butter-ball, you're going to get run over…

STEVEN

Have you ever trusted anyone?

ABIGAIL

Of course I have. But this is warfare….

STEVEN

(After a moment)

Well, maybe you're just a chicken.

ABIGAIL

What?

STEVEN

TAKE THE GUAVO BAR! DO IT! Yeah, y'know, you're a chicken. You're a chicken—

ABIGAIL

What? You think I'm too _scared_ to be friends with you?

STEVEN

GRAB IT! GRAB IT!

 _(STEVEN shakes the CANDY BAR in ABIGAIL's face. She reaches out with lightning-fast reflexes. She snatches it. She takes a bite out of it. Then she waves it in STEVEN's face, smirking. She tries not to laugh)_

ABIGAIL

I mean, while I'm here though...I could enjoy your company...

 _(STEVEN cheers and hugs her. ABIGAIL is put off. Then, after a moment, she allows it. She smiles over his shoulder)_

* * *

 _(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL. A clearing in the wilderness surrounded by TOTEM POLES and TEAPEES. Each TOTEM POLE is sketched with ancient drawings. A large FIRE PIT brews in the center. EIGHT TORCHES sit up against a RACK._

 _The HOST stands at his PODIUM, waiting for the DAKOTAS to enter. The entire tribe minus SLAPPY - PANCHITO, MARCELINE, JACK, PEPE, MANDY, STEVEN, and ABIGAIL - enter one-by-one. They cross to their TORCHES and pick them up)_

HOST

Behind each of you is a torch. In this game, fire represents your life. When it's out, so are you...

 _(The DAKOTA TRIBE drops their TORCHES into the FLAMES and gets FIRE. They all sit down on the LOG, tense, awaiting COUNCIL)_

HOST

Let's talk about early dynamics. Marceline, you're on a tribe where three young people - Abigail, Steven, and Mandy - are up against much older people. How has that been working out?

MARCELINE

I mean, I think I'm young for my age. I still sleep with a teddy bear. I haven't even bitten its head off. I'm full of surprises. So yeah, I can vibe with those guys...

HOST

Steven, how do you feel?

STEVEN

I mean, when we first got here, I think I kind of alienated myself. I had high expectations. But then I got better ideas than, like...being sad all the time. I worked a lot around camp. I contributed…

HOST

Abigail, Steven's said that he's felt alienated. Does that put him in danger of going home?

ABIGAIL

Steven's in no danger of going home. I don't think camp life really plays that much of a factor. It's going to come down to strategy. What you need. Who you feel comfortable with. Y'know, if somebody's sitting around lazy and stuff, maybe they'll go home over a hard worker….

HOST

Well, do you think you're in any danger?

ABIGAIL

I know where I stand tonight. I know who I'm voting for. I think...I came out kind of overbearing. Y'know, I made some people angry and I'm doing my best to correct that. I'm serious. I really want to be here. But I'm trying to have fun. So who knows, if I was too cold, what can I do about it? And I just hope that if anyone's sending me home, they'll have the guts to tell me to my face….

PEPE

You are.

 _(Everyone turns to PEPE in shock. He shrugs, looking away, minding his business)_

HOST

Wow, just like that. Pepe, you're voting for Abigail?

PEPE

I think ze...generational gap is present, yes. I try to relate to the young people. I make fire. Small talk. I try to sell my book. But they push me out every time. Then I hear from Mandy they want to blindside me...

MANDY

Crap.

ABIGAIL

(Laughing)

I knew it...

HOST

Mandy, care to comment?

MANDY

I don't know why he's betraying me here-

PEPE

I'm not.

MANDY

You're putting me in a crappy position next round!

PEPE

Well, if you weren't playing both sides, you have nothing to worry about. Right?

MANDY

Why are you telling Abigail you're voting her out?

PEPE

I'm a gentleman! I'm letting her know!

MANDY

It's supposed to be a blindside!

HOST

Mandy, enlighten us. What happened today?

MANDY

Okay, so Abigail comes over to be, and she basically forces friendship-

ABIGAIL

Say what, sucker? I didn't force anything-

MANDY

Oh come on, Abbie-

ABIGAIL

I saw you _alone._ You spend the whole day cutting fish and looking all moody and stuff, so I figured, all right, I'm going to see where this girl's head's at. Maybe she's lonely. But clearly, you're better off left alone. You're full of hatred…

MANDY

Your friendship wasn't genuine.

ABIGAIL

Then what it genuine, Mandy? I tried my best.

MANDY

 _(Waving her hands)_

I'm done.

HOST

Steven, where do you fit in between these two women?

STEVEN

SERIOUS STEVEN, ACTIVATE! Okay guys, I didn't want any ill-will here. After Slappy got exiled, I thought things would get better. But they've been comparatively worse...

MANDY

Yeah, don't defend me. Suck up to Abigail. Even after we talked today—

ABIGAIL

What? Me? You're the most disliked person here right now...

HOST

Mandy and Abigail, you're clearly not getting along...

MANDY

It's a personality conflict.

ABIGAIL

You don't have a personality.

MANDY

That's still more interesting than you! You're a game-bot!

ABIGAIL

Do you _like_ Steven or something? Is that it? Cause honestly, I'm lost.

MANDY

I'm not talking anymore….

HOST

Wow, this is a mess. Panchito, you've been quiet. Weigh in here...

PANCHITO

Well, as my Great Uncle Julio Ricardo Esteban Jimenez Pistoles once said..."A tortilla is like your face. You should not rip it." But he also said not to give up. I'm tired of this yelling. This bickering. And I hope we'll pull it together next round so we don't end up back here...

HOST

Jack? Closing thoughts?

JACK

Well, I'm rather lost as to what's happening. But does anyone want to see me juggle?

HOST

Well, with that being said, it is time to vote. Abigail, you're up.

* * *

 _(Cut to ABIGAIL in the voting booth)_

ABIGAIL

Mandy, you're a bully and I'm not going to take it. It would be so easy to vote you out...but Pepe's a bigger threat. Let's put you in the minority and watch you scramble...

 _(Cut to MANDY in the voting booth)_

MANDY

Abigail, if you survive this vote, I'm going to tear out my small intestine and strangle myself...

 _(Cut to STEVEN in the voting booth)_

STEVEN

WITTY STEVEN, ACTIVATE! Okay, I could swing this if I wanted to, but Abigail protected me today even though I was a candy smuggler. Pepe, um, the universe doesn't revolve around you...and it's also voting you out. Bye...

 _(Cut to PANCHITO in the voting booth)_

PANCHITO

I dedicate this vote to my family in the old country. I love you, Abuela. And soon, I will take you to America...and buy you a fancy foot massager...

 _(Cut to PEPE in the voting booth)_

PEPE

Abigail, you've crossed a Frenchman and you're paying for it. If you end up...partial to Steven...I will help you book a date in Vegas...

 _(Cut to MARCELINE in the voting booth)_

MARCELINE

Thanks for the dinner, freak. Here's your tip.

 _(Cut to JACK in the voting booth. He takes the MARKER and sniffs it for a moment, intrigued. Then he shrugs. He pauses for a moment, thinking of what he was told to do. Then he nods and scribbles something)_

* * *

 _(Cut back to the center of TRIBAL. The HOST exits the CORRIDOR holding the URN of VOTES. He smiles at the DAKOTAS as he takes his spot on the PODIUM)_

HOST

If anyone has a hidden immunity idol and would like to play it, now would be the time to do so...

 _(Nobody rises)_

I will now read the votes...

* * *

 **FIRST VOTE**

 **PEPE**

 **SECOND VOTE**

 **ABIGAIL**

 **THIRD VOTE**

 **ABIGAIL**

 **FOURTH VOTE**

 **PEPE**

 **FIFTH VOTE**

 **ABIGAIL**

 **SIXTH VOTE**

 **PEPE**

 **SEVENTH VOTE**

 **PEPE**

 **First person voted out of Animation Brawl: Yellowstone...**

 **PEPE**

* * *

 _(Cut to the TRIBES' reaction. MANDY is horrified. She cups her hands to her mouth, realizing what's happened. PANCHITO is dismayed as well. ABIGAIL smirks, delighted, trying to stay composed. STEVEN nods, triumphant, relieved everything worked out. MARCELINE makes a rock sign with her hands, sticking out her tongue. JACK smiles and waves goodbye, oblivious._

 _PEPE is aghast. He tries to hide his embarrassment, looking down, trying to avoid the OTHERS - especially MARCELINE)_

PEPE

Sneaky, sneaky. Stupid Americans...

MANDY

Marceline, you back-stabber...

MARCELINE

Sorry, I'm drunk on the wine that Pepe gave me...

 _(PEPE stands up, shell-shocked. He turns to the cameras and starts rambling)_

PEPE

I'd like to take this moment to promote my book: Pepe's Guide To Believing-

HOST

Shut up and let me snuff your torch!

 _(PEPE takes his TORCH and crosses over to the HOST in a daze. He places the TORCH in the POST and stares, still piecing all of this together)_

HOST

Pepe...the tribe has spoken...

 _(PEPE exits down the HALLWAY, shaking his head. Some of the OTHERS wave half-hearted goodbyes to him)_

JACK

(Shocked)

Oh, I get it now. This is a _reality_ show...

HOST

Well, I think tonight's Tribal exposed some real issues brewing on your tribe. You seem to have a bullying situation...

ABIGAIL

(Muttering)

Yeah, and the bully thinks she's a victim...

HOST

Let's see if you can patch things up and not end up here again. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp. Good night.

* * *

 **PEPE voted for ABIGAIL**

 **PANCHITO voted for ABIGAIL**

 **MANDY voted for ABIGAIL**

 **ABIGAIL voted for PEPE**

 **STEVEN voted for PEPE**

 **MARCELINE voted for PEPE**

 **JACK voted for PEPE**

* * *

A/N: Pepe was a really fun character. I knew from the beginning that he'd be an over-the-top first boot, but I had fun playing with his desperation for the tribe to like him. He was an awful player and probably would have become an amazing goat to take to the end if he lasted longer, but ah well. He'll come to terms with the embarrassment on his trip back to France.

Right now, Steven, Abigail, Marceline, and Jack are in a pretty decent spot now. Mandy's a lamb for the slaughter and Panchito's defenseless. But keep in mind Slappy's coming back in the near future. So we'll have to see how things pan out...

Next time...Slappy on Exile, a contestant requires medical attention, and Clyde and Shifty's fight for leadership leads to someone else stepping in for power...


	4. The Moment To Strike, Part I

_(Cut to EXILE ISLAND, a flat expanse of ice in the middle of nowhere. There is a tattered, old BARN with no roof. There is a HELICOPTER PAD nearby, but other than that, absolutely nothing. The HELICOPTER touches down and sprays up frost everywhere. SLAPPY storms out of the HELICOPTER, slamming the DOOR behind her)_

SLAPPY

SIXTY-FIVE YEARS OLD? AND NOT EVEN A CUSHION FOR MY ASS?

 _(Cut to SLAPPY wandering over to the BARN. She drop kicks the OLD DOOR out of the way. Then she peeks inside)_

 _(Cut back to SLAPPY in a confessional)_

SLAPPY

I threw the challenge today. I knew they were all ready to vote me out. I mean, why else would there be a helicopter on standby at the challenge? It was for Exile Island. And I didn't even have to convince them to send me. The other tribe got to do it…

 _(Cut to SLAPPY creeping down into the BARN. She brushes old COBWEBS out of her face, peeking around through the shadows. She picks up OLD WOOD and BROKEN WHISKEY BOTTLES. Annoyed, she tosses them to the side)_

SLAPPY

(Muttering to herself)

There's got to be some kind of clue here. An advantage….

 _(SLAPPY scavenges through the DARK. She pulls up a FLOORBOARD from the BARN, heaving it out of the way. She digs beneath the EARTH, pulling PIPING and broken CINDERBLOCKS out of the way. Then she pulls out a BLACK BOX. SLAPPY swings open the BOX. She pulls out a SINGLE SCRAP of PAPER inside. Then she starts to read through it aloud)_

SLAPPY

"Congratulations"….you've found the clue….to the Ghost Vote. This is…a special advantage devised specifically for this season. If you play the Ghost Vote… _after_ you're voted out…you can dump a vote on somebody still in the game at the next Tribal Council."

 _(She crumbles up the PAPER, shocked)_

That's it? _That's_ it?

CAMERAMAN

Um—

SLAPPY

What good is an advantage if you can only use it after you've lost the freaking _game?_

CAMERAMAN

I mean, I'm just an intern here—

SLAPPY

(Crumbling up the CLUE)

POINTLESS!

(Cut to SLAPPY in a confessional)

SLAPPY

There was _no_ point in coming out here for an advantage. It blows. So, I'm going to give production exactly what they deserve _._ I'm going to sit here all night, relax, and do nothing. But first….

(Cut back to the scene. SLAPPY takes the NOTE she crumbled up. With a PEN, she starts to scribble something onto the back of it)

SLAPPY

(Speaking for the camera)

I'm going to sell them all out. I'm going to leave _everything_ I know about my tribe right here on this paper. That way, the other tribe will see it. Let's see. Abigail is in an alliance with Steven. Jack is in an alliance with Marceline. Panchito is in an alliance with _nobody._ And – just for fun – "Steven…has… a hidden…. immunity Idol…."

CAMERAMAN

Does he?

SLAPPY

(Smiling)

No.

* * *

 _(Cut to the DAKOTA CAMP. Sunset. Everyone is gathered around the CAMPFIRE. JACK, it seems, is putting on some kind of show for everyone. He takes a TORCH, holding it in front of his mouth)_

JACK

Now Marceline, may you light the torch?

MARCELINE

I'd be delighted…

 _(MARCELINE lights the TORCH with a MATCH. JACK coughs, breathing in for a second. Then he breathes out and fire spurts from his lips. It turns to smoke, drifting out into the cold air. Everyone is impressed)_

JACK

VOILA!

MARCELINE

HOLY-FROSTED FLAKES, BRO! FREAKING SICK!

JACK

 _(Bowing)_

I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!

 _(Cut to JACK in a confessional. He looks a little disappointed)_

JACK

So…I've come to the conclusion that I'm on Survivor.

 _(Awkward sound effect. He smiles)_

There's a serious lack of basic needs. Also, everyone's very paranoid. Yes. So that makes sense. I think. I mean, the adventure's certainly fresh and exciting. I've been performing as the Pumpkin King for hundreds of years now…and it's getting a bit old. I just don't enjoy it as much as I used to…

* * *

 _(Cut to later that night. MARCELINE and JACK are huddled together in the IGLOO, trying to keep warm. Everyone else - PANCHITO, ABIGAIL, STEVEN, and MANDY - are crowded around them in sleeping bags. JACK plays with a small LIGHTER, catching a spark every few seconds. They watch the flame)_

JACK

I've done that for _three-hundred years_ , y'know. Breathing fire. It's gotten rather boring…

MARCELINE

Well, I mean, you don't have to do it…

JACK

I know. But when it's all you've ever done….you don't question it. You do things because they're familiar. Not because you enjoy them. That's what Sally told me. Before she broke up with me…

MARCELINE

What happened exactly?

JACK

Oh, she wanted to take some time for herself. She wanted to enjoy her limbs that hadn't fallen off yet. Delightful creature she is...

 _(MARCELINE nods, uncomfortable)_

I was worn out. Nothing excited me. I got up, juggled pumpkins, breathed fire, but I wasn't doing it for the thrill. It was just because…that was Jack. That's who Jack was and that's why people liked him. But now, I'm going to have an adventure. With you. And that's all that matters…

MARCELINE

 _(She rubs against him)_

 _Boom-shacka-lacka…._

JACK

Did I – did I offend you? I didn't offend you? Did I?

MARCELINE

No. No. I was joking, man. I'm weird...

JACK

Well, I live to serve you, of course. You're my vampire queen and I take it as my duty….

MARCELINE

Yeah.

 _(Pause)_

Well, just curious: why do you like me? I mean, sometimes, I don't even like me...

JACK

I just see something. Darkness. An exquisite creature of the night. My dream is only to find a new queen of nightmares to support. To cherish. With love and respect. I lost Sally, but life goes on. You mark a new chapter of my life. Experience. Adventure. I have to protect you. It's my code. My duty….

 _(Cut to MARCELINE's reaction. She smiles at him but it's very forced. Clearly, something about this is making her very uncomfortable)_

 _(Cut to MARCELINE in a confessional)_

 _MARCELINE_

Jack likes me. Like, really likes me. Only I'm kind of using him as a shield to protect myself. And I'm not as super into him as he thinks. And when I get anxious about who my friends are….it usually doesn't end well….

* * *

 _(Cut to the following morning. MANDY sits by the CAMPFIRE. She is shivering, distraught, cupping her hand by the FIRE. PANCHITO walks over and notices)_

PANCHITO

Mandy...what's wrong?

MANDY

I...I lost my glove in the snow.

 _(Close-up on MANDY's hand. It's very red, raw, frozen solid. She's holding it by the fire, struggling to warm it up again. PANCHITO is horrified)_

PANCHITO

ADIOS MIO!

MANDY

You can't tell anyone! They'll tell production! They'll pull me from the game if it gets worse...

PANCHITO

My friend, my Great Abuela Maria Lourdes Mona Pistoles once shoved her hand into a bag of ice carrying it back to our village. She ended up with a metal hook for a hand...

MANDY

 _(Rolling her eyes)_

Good. Attractive…

 _(Cut to MANDY in a confessional. She looks furious)_

MANDY

You know, I hope I lose my hand. I…I hope they replace it with a scary coat hanger or something. At least then nobody will try to be my friend Like, they expect me to be a perky blonde snowflake or something. I can't change that. So...I have to defend myself...

 _(She sighs)_

I spent like three hours digging through the snow this morning and looking for the Idol. I'm on the bottom now, so I have to protect myself. That's how I froze my hand. Of course, I didn't find anything. But...if I can't use the Idol to my advantage, I'll take the easier route: I'll lie...

* * *

 _(Cut to the SNOWY FOREST, outskirts of camp. STEVEN is wandering around, looking for somebody, a little lost. MANDY steps out from behind a TREE. She has a creepy smile on her face)_

MANDY

Hello, Steven...

STEVEN

Mandy, stop creeping up on me?

MANDY

(Menacing)

I like _you._ I've always liked you.

STEVEN

Yeah, well, tell that to Abbie. I like to be fair to my friends, okay, and if one friend doesn't like the other friend, well, that's friend-disruption. And you're putting me in a weird place, Mandy. Look, Abbie's nice. She's cool.. Plus she's a girl. Aren't girls supposed to...like each other?

MANDY

You've clearly never been in a middle school locker room.

STEVEN

We're...we were having a race. To prove who's faster. I got sidetracked behind that tree...

MANDY

You want to prove yourself to her, don't you?

STEVEN

No! I don't need to! I'm fine….

MANDY

No. You want to prove you're not helpless. Face it. You're only with Abbie because she's acknowledged your existence. She's made you feel like a hero. But real heroes don't follow orders at the word "go, Steven. You're being strung along….

STEVEN

What are you doing then? Creeping out behind trees?

MANDY

No, I'm warning you. By the way, I have a hidden immunity Idol...

 _(MANDY smirks and vanishes. ABIGAIL jogs out from behind another TREE. She rushes over to STEVEN, looking on in confusion)_

ABIGAIL

Steven? What did she want?

STEVEN

...She, uh...she was looking for the bathroom...

* * *

 _(Cut to the SHOSHONE CAMP. Following morning. Everyone is gathered around the CAMPFIRE, gnawing on some undercooked FISH for breakfast. The TRIBE, for memory's sake, consists of BRIAN, CLEO, SHIFTY, CLYDE, JOY, WILT, FLUTTERSHY, and CHESHIRE CAT._

 _CLEO is keeping her distance from the others, clearly the black sheep of the group. She bites miserably on a FISH, trying to rip the meat out._

 _JOY passes out FOOD, distributing PLATES, acting like the group coordinator. She looks very cheery. WILT, BRIAN, and CHESHIRE CAT are crowded around. SHIFTY sits in the center, FLUTTERSHY beside him. He's in the middle of telling an animated story to the group. CLYDE, on the other side, is struggling to ignore SHIFTY)_

SHIFTY

Okay, so I go into the restaurant, all right, and the guy's like, 'Excuse me, you have to wait your turn. There's a waiting list. But I'm like, excuse me, do you know who I am. I'm Shifty. The raccoon. I practically _own_ this joint. Then—

CLYDE

(Loud)

Hey, hey, you guys want to hear about how I met my _girlfriend?_

(Awkward silence)

JOY

Um, Shifty was talking—

CLYDE

Yeah, but this is related. So anyway, I was—

SHIFTY

I mean, I was talking, Clyde. But go on, I'm interested. Everyone is. What happened?

 _(Awkward silence. Everyone stares at him. CLYDE shuts up, glaring at him)_

SHIFTY

Anyway, as I was saying—

WILT

(Forced)

The fish is delicious.

 _(Cut to JOY in a confessional)_

JOY

There's unreal tension right now between Shifty and Clyde. If we were back in an office setting, I'd call human resources to speak to them. But, since we can't lose challenges in the future, I have to fix things myself. It's time for Shoshone to do some team bonding!

* * *

 _(Cut to a few hours later. JOY, CLEO, BRIAN, FLUTTERSHY, SHIFTY, and CLYDE are gathered around a WOODEN STUMP on the ground. JOY is guiding them through an exercise._

JOY

Okay. Brian's going to fall off the stump. Cleo's going to catch him…

BRIAN

 _(Climbing up)_

This is a waste of time…

JOY

Just take it all in….

 _(BRIAN sighs and holds out his hands. He falls back. He lands flat on the ground. CLEO completely ignores him, picking at her nails)_

BRIAN

CLEO, WHAT THE HELL?

CLEO

Guess you weren't trusting me enough…

JOY

Um, Clyde, Shifty, why don't you go next?

CLYDE

 _(Muttering to himself)_

Don't need no goddamn trust fall…

 _(SHIFTY jumps up on the LOG, mockingly, urging him to step up)_

SHIFTY

Come on, catch me, Clyde...

JOY

Why not Fluttershy then? She hasn't gone yet.

FLUTTERSHY

But… what if I drop him…? I'm scared….

SHIFTY

(Smirking)

There's worse things that could happen. Right, Clyde?

CLYDE

OUTTA MY WAY! I'LL DO IT!

 _(CLYDE sighs and climbs up on the STUMP. FLUTTERSHY holds her HOOVES out, terrified, ready to catch CLYDE. CLYDE holds out his arms. He falls. FLUTTERSHY promptly freaks out. She jumps back and lets CLYDE fall in the snow)_

FLUTTERSHY

I'm sorry, Clyde. I got nervous…

SHIFTY

 _(To CLYDE)_

Don't worry. I still _like_ you…

CLYDE

 _(Muttering, unintelligible)_

Goddamn game...freaking... _no-good, god-damn..._

* * *

 _(Cut to a little while later. FLUTTERSHY and SHIFTY sit at the CAMPFIRE together. FLUTTERSHY is visibly upset. SHIFTY is comforting her but he looks rather bored)_

FLUTTERSHY

I mean, I should have caught him, I know. But I'm klutzy. And I'm, like, super awkward. You don't think Clyde's mad at me, do you? And Joy too...I mean, I get her intentions, I do. But sometimes, when she, like, initiates bonding-stuff like that...I just want to—

SHIFTY

 _(Yawning)_

Y'know what, sorry Fluttershy, I wasn't listening. What were you saying?

FLUTTERSHY

I'm glad we're friends. Sorry. I just…I feel like I'm the weak link here….

SHIFTY

No. No. Everyone's valuable. Here, look what I hawked when we were sequestered in pre-game…..

 _(He pulls a HAIR CLIP out of his PARKA)_

A hair clip. I was going to use it in the shelter somehow. But _you_ take it. Whenever you're feeling down, just look at it and think of me? All right?

FLUTTERSHY

Okay…

 _(FLUTTERSHY accepts the HAIR CLIP. She smiles at SHIFTY)_

SHIFTY

Now, here's my game-plan, You've seen Clyde sizing me up. So tell me, what do you do in Survivor when somebody wants to go after you?

FLUTTERSHY

You debate your options.

SHIFTY

Besides that…

FLUTTERSHY

You express your feelings…

SHIFTY

No.

FLUTTERSHY

I'm lost.

SHIFTY

You _blindside_ them, Fluttershy….

* * *

 _(Cut to a few feet away. CLEO'S SNOW PALACE. She's fashioned a pretty extravagant tower away from the SHELTER with the OTHERS, keeping it all to herself. She stands on the HIGH PERCH, looking down at FLUTTERSHY and SHIFTY. They're struggling to strike a deal with her)_

CLEO

I told you already. You can't sleep here. It's my snow palace. Please, leave. Excavate the premises. Thank you…

SHIFTY

Tough sell?

CLEO

The whole tribe hates me. You just want to use me as a number. Look, I'm overbearing but I'm not stupid. I'm not going to be a pawn for you to achieve something…

SHIFTY

Well, we _don't_ hate you. It takes a lot for me to hate someone. What do you say Cleo? Roll with the raccoon?

FLUTTERSHY

And the pony!

SHIFTY

(Uninterested)

Uh, yeah, her too….

CLEO

Why are your teeth so white?

SHIFTY

It's in the genes.

CLEO

But they're, like…unnaturally white. You're weird. Are you for real?

SHIFTY

 _(Laughing)_

Baby, I'm way more than that.

* * *

 _(Cut to several minutes later. SHIFTY and JOY stand by the WOODS together. JOY holds an armful of LOGS. They're in the midst of a conversation. JOY is doing most of the talking)_

JOY

Oh, yes, yes, we can definitely align!

SHIFTY

(Bored)

Uh-huh…

JOY

Because really, I've been sizing you up. From the very beginning. And I really think, you know with the proper scheduling, with the proper itinerary, our systems of organization could really, really—

 _(SHIFTY, bored, starts to walk off)_

OKAY, BYE SHIFTY!

 _(Cut to JOY in a confessional)_

JOY

Shifty has a really has a good handle on group dynamics. And good teeth. We're very similar. I mean, I came in very, very optimistic. My initial hope was maybe everyone on Shoshone could work together. But y'know, I'm seeing friction here….

 _(Cut to the center of CAMP. Everyone is gathered around the FIRE. FLUTTERSHY leaps out of the way, barely missing a SNOWBALL. It was thrown by CLEO, still up on her perch. FLUTTERSHY got too close to her SNOW PALACE. JOY watches, exasperated, tries to ignore them)_

CLEO

FOR THE LAST TIME, NOBODY SLEEPS HERE!

 _(Cut back to JOY in a confessional)_

JOY

I can be the Team Mom. But if the fighting gets in the way of my game? Sorry. I'm going to be making big moves.

 _(Awkward music starts playing. JOY smiles at the camera)_

And if Shifty has Fluttershy and Cleo already, he's my route to do it...

* * *

 _(Cut to a FROZEN LAKE, a little while later. CLEO and FLUTTERSHY are out on the ICE, begrudgingly working together to catch FISH. They're in the process of stabbing a hole through the ICE. CLEO feeds a line down in the WATER. She doesn't look happy for some reason)_

CLEO

Do you like working with Shifty?

FLUTTERSHY

Yes. He's great. I love him…

CLEO

(Coughing)

He sucks.

FLUTTERSHY

Sorry?

CLEO

I said I'm glad we're aligned now.

(Cut to CLEO in a confessional)

CLEO

Okay. Moment of truth. This alliance doesn't fly with me. I'm strong. I'm independent. I know everyone thinks I'm nuts but I've adapted to it. I've put myself on the bottom. Again. Just like I always do. But I'm a fighter. Right now, I have to lay low. I have to wait for the right moment to strike….

 _(Cut back to the scene. SHIFTY walks out onto the LAKE. He smiles at the girls, resting his hands on their shoulders)_

SHIFTY

Hey Cleo, make sure you catch me a big one. I'm starving...

CLEO

Sure, Shifty…

 _(SHIFTY whistles and walks off. CLEO glances to the side, looking at the small pile of FISH they've scavenged already. She makes sure FLUTTERSHY isn't looking. Then, she picks a FISH out for SHIFTY and spits in it. She shrugs and looks away, minding her business)_

* * *

 _(Cut to CLYDE in a confessional)_

 _CLYDE_

Y'know, this isn't nothing I haven't seen before. I live in a _maze,_ see? And every day, I'm running full-force with my gang, eating up power pellets, trying to catch this yellow guy. See, every day of my life, chasing after this bozo that you can't even catch, that's hard. This shouldn't be hard. And it's not. I'm just...playing with a bunch of bimbos...

 _(Cut to inside the IGLOO. CLYDE is holding a CLOTH against his head, still hurt from before. WILT, CHESHIRE CAT, and BRIAN are gathered around him. Everyone is wrapped in BLANKETS, shivering, trying to warm up a little from the cold outside. WILT smiles at CLYDE, trying to defuse the tension)_

WILT

Uh Clyde, do you want to play basketball? That always makes _me_ feel better…

CLYDE

I'm surrounded by idiots. A drunk dog, an imaginary…thing who's too scared to do anything…and-whatever-the-hell-that-is!

CHESHIRE CAT

(Smiling)

Bumped your cranium, did you, dear boy?

BRIAN

Okay, I'm confused. We were never in an alliance. Ever. But here you are, like…grouping us together, treating us like we're lesser people. Why is that? We're all outcasts here, Clyde. You're not helping yourself…

CLYDE

What are you, a psychologist?

BRIAN

Yes. You're losing it.

CLYDE

It's just… _Shifty_ , man. You've seen him. I don't get what I'm doing wrong. I mean, why are the girls all over that scumbag? Why don't they like me too?

CHESHIRE CAT

Your glory days are behind you, my friend.

CLYDE

Shut up. Look, are you people with me then? I'm sorry I was rash. I just want to hear it from you. I want to be sure I'm safe…

 _(Awkward silence. Everyone looks at each other)_

WILT & BRIAN

Yeah, yeah, absolutely…

CHESHIRE CAT

(Giggling)

Practically…enthusiastically _…_

CLYDE

Good. I'm going to go check on Shifty…and his women…

( _CLYDE nods and crawls out of the SHELTER. There's a stiff silence. Everyone looks at each other)_

BRIAN

 _(To WILT)_

So, do you want to just vote Clyde out?

WILT

I'm just here for the challenges, man. I'll do whatever….

CHESHIRE

Chaos. Anarchy. Disaster. Here's to it.

(Cut to BRIAN in a confessional)

BRIAN

Basically, Clyde's pissed off that Shifty took over our tribe and took all the girls. Now, I could team up with him and fight back. But I think it makes more sense right now to just lay low. Also, I still know where the Immunity Idol is. So I'm just keeping my options open really….

 _(Cut to outside the IGLOO. CLYDE storms off, grumbling, holding the CLOTH to his head. There's a hint of movement behind the IGLOO. CLEO stands up, surveying them, scowling. She heard the whole conversation)_

* * *

 _(Cut to the WOODS. CLYDE is piling FIREWOOD together, off on his own, ignoring the OTHERS. CLEO waltzes up behind him. She taps him on the shoulder)_

CLEO

Hey Clyde—

CLYDE

Yeah, you enjoying sponging the raccoon?

CLEO

They're voting you out. Go to Exile today. Save yourself.

 _(CLEO nods and walks off as quickly as she came. CLYDE gawks at her as she vanishes)_

CLYDE

She's got spunk...

* * *

 _(Cut to the FROZEN LAKE. SHIFTY, JOY, and FLUTTERSHY are now all gathered together. CLEO, noticeably, is absent from her own alliance. SHIFTY has the girls laughing. He's doing some kind of impression)_

SHIFTY

Hey guys, who am I? _"Okay, get out! Right now! Nobody sleeps here!"_

JOY

(Laughing)

That's so mean. Stop. She's not that bad…

 _(The camera pans over. CLEO is standing on the edge of the LAKE, hidden in the TREES. She watches them sadly, clearly hurt. But it seems as if she expected it)_

* * *

 _(Cut to the center of CAMP. CLEO now stands on the edge of the WOODS. She sits on a STUMP, dejected, breaking up TWIGS with her hands. WILT and BRIAN are carrying LOGS back to the CAMPFIRE. CLEO watches them from the side)_

WILT

Still got Cleo's snow palace over there…

BRIAN

Yeah, one-room vacancy. I wonder who wants to sleep with her…

 _(Cut to CLEO in a confessional. She looks enraged)_

CLEO

Blah-blah-blabbity-blah. Fine. I _choose_ to be annoying. I'm an interloper. A fighter. A badass. A poodle. I'm Cleo. Do you not get it? I've been provoked. I'm going to dismantle them. I'm going to…eat…this tribe…for lunch…

 _(She snaps her fingers at the camera)_

* * *

 _(Cut to WILT at CAMP. He's busying himself in his makeshift BASKETBALL COURT. He tosses a frozen ball of ICE around. He goes for a lay-up and sinks it into the BASKET. CLEO enters the COURT and smiles at him. WILT, a little taken aback, waves back at her)_

CLEO

Hey Wilt, what are your thoughts on girls?

WILT

(Smiling)

Like…what?

CLEO

Nice guy, huh? That's cute. Kind of boring though. Tell me, when you're shooting baskets, do you pay attention to the cheerleaders? Do they make you sweat?

WILT

 _(Blushing)_

I like the ladies. I guess. I don't know...

CLEO

You're turning red.

WILT

 _(Uncomfortable)_

Well, y'know, I…I've turned a few heads. Yeah.

CLEO

Then tell me. The women out here. Besides me. Do you think some of them are, like…I don't know…not up-to-par?

WILT

How so?

CLEO

We're in the middle of the wild. There's bears. There's moose. There's probably cannibals out here that would eat us for lunch. I don't know, Fluttershy, Joy…don't they seem a little…high-maintenance? Not outdoorsy? Too dependent?

WILT

 _(Brightly)_

Well, that's why the men are here!

CLEO

 _(Smiling)_

Say more, Wilt…

 _(In the distance, JOY yawns and crawls out of the IGLOO. Clearly, CLEO encouraged her to come outside minutes ago. JOY yawns and starts walking over, waving to CLEO. WILT is oblivious)_

WILT

Well, y'know, I'm respectful. I hold the door open for girls. I make sure they don't walk in puddles. I mean – I don't want to be offensive—

CLEO

Well, you're not talking about women as, like…a collective _whole—_

WILT

No, no, you're right. Well, some women I guess are, like…I guess they're pre-dispositioned. Biologically. To like, not be as strong? I mean, that sounds terrible. Maybe they don't get enough vitamins. Or maybe they don't have a balanced breakfast. I mean, I'm not going to point fingers.

 _(He forces a laugh)_

But I guess it's good there's a lot of guys here!

CLEO

Joy's behind you…

WILT

Um, what?

 _(The camera pans over. JOY, indeed, is standing behind WILT. She looks angrier than we've ever seen her)_

JOY

Lambasting the female race…?

WILT

(Frightened)

NO! IT WAS CLEO!

JOY

WHAT?

WILT

MEN! WOMEN! THE DIFFERENCES!

JOY

What are you, like, a high-and-mighty alpha male or something?

WILT

I just came out on this show to play basketball!

 _(Other members of the TRIBE have left the IGLOO. They've crawled out and come over, curious over the commotion. CLYDE, FLUTTERSHY, SHIFTY, and CHESHIRE CAT are among them)_

CLYDE

What's going on here?

JOY

Wilt's insisting women are weaker.

WILT

That's not what I said! _Cleo, help…_

CLEO

(Picking at her nails)

Well, y'know, I _would._ But what am I? Sad, lowly Cleo. Sleeping in my little snow palace. Sorry, I'm not sure what's going on…

JOY

 _(Trying to stay calm)_

Look, Wilt. I'm a successful, composed individual. I manage an office. I manage workers. I'm not going to argue with you. I'm above you. Do you hear me? This is, like, this is nothing to me. It's a speck. In my eye. It's nothing. I'm totally...utterly...calm.

WILT

Um, everyone's watching us…

 _(Indeed, everyone is staring at JOY. Rather than being angry at WILT, they seem more put-off by JOY blowing up at him. FLUTTERSHY struggles not to look at JOY. SHIFTY smirks, utterly amused. CLYDE seems annoyed, scowling at everything. CHESHIRE CAT grins with his manic smile)_

JOY

You're...you're all angry at Wilt. Not me, right? Was that too much?

SHIFTY

Well, _you_ decide...

WILT

You just overacted. It's fine.

JOY

I…I have to go wash up…

 _(JOY nods weakly, embarrassed. She turns her head and flees the scene)_

FLUTTERSHY

 _(To SHIFTY)_

She's our friend! Somebody has to talk to her...

SHIFTY

 _(Catching on)_

Yeah, uh, of course. I'll do that. Yeah, feelings, hurt. That's bad-

BRIAN

Leave it to me...

 _(BRIAN nods and takes off after her)_

* * *

 _(Cut to the WOODS. JOY sits on a STUMP. She's crying, struggling to hide it. Golden tears, because of being an EMOTION, stream down her face. She buries her hood in her PARKA and tries to hide it. BRIAN walks into the CLEARING. He kneels down beside her)_

BRIAN

Joy, are you all right?

JOY

I...I revealed too much…

BRIAN

What do you mean?

JOY

Being up there. In front of everyone. I just…I need a second, all right? I'm composed. I'm fine. I don't lose it. I'm the one in control here...

BRIAN

Let it out.

JOY

-And y'know, I _don't_ have a fragile sense of self. I left my job. To play this game. That means something right? But when people like… _demean_ other _people_ like that—

BRIAN

Does it hurt?

JOY

Are you being real with me, Brian?

BRIAN

I root for the underdog. Come on, no one needs to see you like this. It's bad publicity. I've got your back. If you start feeling antsy, come to me. Now come back to camp…

 _(BRIAN pats her on the back. He smiles and walks off)_

JOY

(Shaking her head)

Man…I've got to get my mojo back…

* * *

 _(Cut to the CHALLENGE that day. TWO MATS - RED for DAKOTA, GREEN for SHOSHONE - are set up in front of a DENSE FOREST. There's TWO PATHS winding into the FOREST, vanishing off into the DARKNESS. The HOST stands on his usual MAT, ready to greet the players)_

HOST

Come on in, guys!

 _(The SHOSHONE TRIBE enters. SHIFTY carries the TEAM FLAG, leading the way. They take their spot on the GREEN MAT)_

 _(The DAKOTA TRIBE enters and takes their place on their RED MAT. MARCELINE carries the TEAM FLAG proudly. She slams it into the GROUND)_

HOST

Shoshone, getting your first look at the new Dakota tribe. Pepe, voted out last night at Tribal Council. You guys ready to get to today's immunity challenge? First, Slappy…returning from Exile Island…

 _(SLAPPY steps out from the WOODS, a KNAPSACK on her BAG. Mockingly, she rushes over to the DAKOTAS and throws them into an embrace)_

SLAPPY

Aw, group hug! Missed you kids! And you better win this one…or I'm going to kick your asses individually…

STEVEN

 _(Wincing)_

She smells like...old people...

HOST

All right, here's how this is going to work. One tribe member will be tied to a post in the forest. Another tribe member will take off down the path, navigating obstacles to make it to them. When you reach your tribe mate, you will untie them from the post and clip the rope to your belt. You then must return from the forest with your tribe mate in tow. For the winner, safety tonight, nobody going home. For the losers, nothing but a date at Tribal Council where the second contestant will be voted out. Shoshone, we need two. Who's it going to be?

JOY

Two people. Small and fast. Who should it be?

SHIFTY

I'll do it!

CLYDE

Hell no, I _will!_

SHIFTY

Well…they asked for two.

HOST

Shifty and Clyde, stepping up for Shoshone. A match made in heaven. Dakota, who will you choose?

ABIGAIL

We're going to tie up me...

MARCELINE

Wow, that sounded kinky…

ABIGAIL

And uh, for the runner-

SLAPPY

 _(Stepping forward)_

Yeah, yeah, I'll do it. Got to earn my place here again. Let me do it...

HOST

Then let's get started…

* * *

 _(Cut to several minutes later. SLAPPY and SHIFTY are both at different starting lines. They face the FOREST, eager, ready to take off running. SLAPPY sticks her tongue out at SHIFTY. He rolls his eyes and smiles back)_

HOST

Survivors ready? _Go!_

 _(SLAPPY takes off running. She's surprisingly fast. SHIFTY immediately falls behind, lagging)_

HOST

It's Slappy in the lead, Shifty in the dust! Look at that! This old lady can move!

SLAPPY

 _(Vanishing into the WOODS)_

So long, sucker! Don't forget to write!

FLUTTERSHY

C'mon, Shifty! You can do it! Breathe through your nose, out through your mouth!

SHIFTY

 _(Annoyed)_

Yeah, great medical knowledge, kid…

HOST

Both parties have vanished into the woods. Let's see who comes out first.

 _(Cut to a CAMERA in the WOODS. SLAPPY darts down the PATH, panting hard. She clearly exerted all her energy in the beginning to impress her TRIBE. She reaches a crooked series of TIRES. She hops through them like a soldier, making her way through the SNOW. SHIFTY's shadows snakes behind a tree, hurrying up behind her..._

 _SLAPPY spins around a CORNER and encounters a PYRAMID-SHAPED OBSTACLE. A ROPE is connected down a SLOPE. She groans and snatches the ROPE, forcing her way up. She pulls hard, groaning, using up all of her strength. She rolls over and slides down the ramp._

 _SHIFTY hurries behind her. He dashes up the RAMP, not even using the ROPE. He tumbles down, landing in the SNOW._

 _SLAPPY runs into a CLEARING. CLYDE and ABIGAIL are both tied up at different POSTS, wrapped in layers and layers of ROPE. They plead for release)_

 _ABIGAIL_

Come on, Grandma! We don't got all day here! Get me outta here!

SLAPPY

 _(Starting to untangle her)_

Yeah, yeah, I'm not here to babysit...

CLYDE

Nice to see you here. Thought you forgot about me...

SHIFTY

Yeah, if I could only be so _lucky..._

 _(The TWO GROUPS tear at the ROPES, untying their respective parties. SHIFTY makes quicker progress. He dashes in circles, spinning like crazy, unraveling as much as possible. One of CLYDE's arms is freed. He begins to force his way out. SLAPPY looks over, exasperated, realizing she's going to lose. She glances at CLYDE. She leans over, whispering in his ear)_

SLAPPY

Hey, numb-nuts. There's an advantage on Exile...

CLYDE

Whadya say?

SLAPPY

You want one of these _young kids_ to win? I'm on your side. Lose the challenge. I'll send you there. You won't get voted out tonight. You'll thank me later…

* * *

 _(Cut to outside the FOREST. The TWO TRIBES are eager, biting their nails, waiting to see who emerges. There's a bustle of activity. Tree branches snapping, foot-prints. Then, ABIGAIL and SLAPPY dash out of the WOODS. They slide into the FINISH LINE, collapsing into the DAKOTA'S ARMS. Everyone cheers, hopping up and down. PANCHITO waves his SOMBRERO in the air)_

 _HOST_

That's it! Dakota reaches the end first! Dakota wins immunity!

 _(After a moment, SHIFTY rushes out of the WOODS. He's panting heavily, exhausted. He collapses on the ground. CLYDE simply walks out behind him. No effort. He wasn't even running)_

BRIAN

 _(Enraged)_

Clyde, what the hell? Why didn't you try?

CLYDE

 _(Smiling)_

I ain't going home tonight, kids. Pick another target...

* * *

 _(Cut to a few minutes later. The HOST smiles as he hands the TRIBAL IMMUNITY IDOL to the DAKOTAS. MARCELINE takes it eagerly, holding it up into the SUN. Then he turns to the SHOSHONES, who look completely dejected. CLYDE, noticeably, is keeping some distance away from them)_

HOST

Dakota, safe from Tribal Council. Free to see the sun rise tomorrow. Shoshone, I've got nothing. Enjoy a date with metonight at Tribal Council. But first, let's take care of some other business. One of you is going to Exile Island. Somebody from _Dakota_ now has the liberty to choose. Who's it going to be?

SLAPPY

 _(Stepping forward)_

That guy. Right there. The orange blob...

HOST

Clyde, you heard the lady. Get in the helicopter…

CLYDE

 _(Winking)_

See you, guys. Enjoy the night…

 _(CLYDE whistles and walks off toward the HELICOPTER. BRIAN is exasperated, horrified, realizing what's happened. SHIFTY looks like he'd like to kick CLYDE in the teeth. JOY is humiliated. WILT and FLUTTERSHY are confused, trying to piece everything together. CHESHIRE CAT seems to find all this hilarious)_

JOY

He lost on purpose…

BRIAN

Let it go. We'll figure this out...


	5. The Moment To Strike, Part II

_(Cut back to the SHOSHONE CAMP. Everyone is very downtrodden. They're gathered around the fire, not saying anything. FLUTTERSHY smiles vacantly at the group. She puffs her chest out and takes charge)_

FLUTTERSHY

Okay guys, I know this is a bummer, but I'm proud to be a Shoshone.

 _(Everyone stares at her)_

Or...I…I should just…stop talking…

 _(Cut to JOY in a confessional)_

JOY

Our tribe's not united. Somebody _has_ to go home now. I can't be the Team Mom here anymore. Luckily now, I'm still in Shifty's alliance now. And I'm on good terms with Brian. Basically, I'm in the middle. A swing vote. I can single-handedly choose who goes home….

* * *

 _(Cut to the outskirts of CAMP. BRIAN and JOY are standing by the TREELINE together, trying not to be noticed. Nearby, SHIFTY, FLUTTERSHY, and CLEO are relaxing by the CAMPFIRE. BRIAN and JOY are speaking quickly, trying to be conspicuous)_

BRIAN

So about the vote—

JOY

Yes, yes, we'll talk later. Go.

 _(BRIAN shrugs and hurries off, giving her a weird look. JOY smiles, puffs out her chest, walks back to the OTHERS. Her smile now is very forced._

 _SHIFTY seems to pick up on it. He looks around at the GIRLS, sensing the air. CLEO isn't looking at him, picking at her NAILS. FLUTTERSHY is staring at the FIRE. Something is very off)_

 _SHIFTY_

Y'know, you girls could be a little more lively around here. Y'know, little bounce. Dance for me or something...

JOY

(Startled)

What?

SHIFTY

I'm joking. Geez. I was making fun of _Wilt_ before. On the other hand...you have been kind of quiet, Joy...

JOY

 _(Nervous)_

Well, y'know, there's lots to do. Fishing schedules. Scheduling schedules. This camp is busy, busy.

SHIFTY

 _(Menacing)_

Yeah, well, I'm glad you're with us. We need someone like you. Sharp. Resourceful. Trustworthy, y'know? It's that spark you got. In your eyes. With some people, you just click right when you met them. Of course, you could talk a little less...

JOY

What?

SHIFTY

 _Talking._ You know. You never shut up.

JOY

(Laughing)

Oh. I thought you meant...to other people.

SHIFTY

(Smirking)

As in who?

JOY

Nobody. Nobody...

 _(She forces a weird laugh. She reaches into her KNAPSACK and pulls out THREE HANDWRITTEN SCHEDULES. She divvies them up to the group)_

Here, I have your daily itineraries…

CLEO

I don't want a schedule, Joy.

JOY

Cleo, this is the best way to make our tribe productive. A lot of work goes into spreadsheets. Especially since I don't have Excel out here. So please, no complaints...

CLEO

 _(Squinting at the PAPER)_

Wait, it's missing something...

JOY

Did I give you a lunch break?

CLEO

The part when I flip.

JOY

What?

CLEO

Y'know, the part where I betray you, flip to Brian's alliance, and get one of you voted out tonight. Sorry, when does that happen?

 _(CLEO smiles and crumbles up the SCHEDULE. She tosses it at JOY's feet. She smiles, waiting for them to say something. The silence is deafening)_

CLEO

Sorry. I have flipping to do. Bye, guys.

 _(CLEO walks off whistling. JOY, FLUTTERSHY, and SHIFTY look at each other, completely horrified)_

SHIFTY

What the hell just happened?

* * *

 _(Cut to elsewhere at CAMP. BRIAN, CHESHIRE CAT, and WILT are gathered at the LAKE. They're lounging out on the ICE. The sun is out now and they're catching a bit of a reprieve from the COLD. CLEO gallops over, excited. She sits down beside them)_

CLEO

Excuse me! I have an announcement!

 _(SHIFTY, FLUTTERSHY, and JOY rush in)_

SHIFTY

Cleo, stop! Stop!

FLUTTERSHY

Shifty, don't yell in the cold! You'll hurt your throat!

SHIFTY

 _(Shoving FLUTTERSHY)_

Out of my way, stupid kid!

CLEO

Hi guys, it's me, Cleo. The mos _t hated_ person at camp. So, I was bored and I decided I'm going to flip on my alliance. Okay? Okay. Are you guys tanning out here? Awesome. Let me join.

BRIAN

Am I high right now? Cleo, you can't just..mindlessly flip in front of—

CLEO

Yes, I can. Silly Brian. That's how you play Survivor. How I play? That's different...

SHIFTY

 _(Forced laugh)_

Cleo, my dear. Level with me. Have I not been hospitable? I mean, I've been trying to make you feel welcome here. I've been nothing but a gentleman-

CLEO

No. You're a classist, egotistical, chauvinistic street urchin who exploits the opposite sex to your advantage.

 _(CUT to WILT in a confessional)_

WILT

And that was the start...of the biggest fight I've ever seen in my life—

 _(Cut back to the scene)_

SHIFTY

Okay, hold up. I've provided for you people. I've busted my ass making our shelter, catching fish. What, I'm exploiting people now?

CLEO

You've treated women like commodities. I'm voting for you tonight. There's nothing you can do about it.

SHIFTY

Fine. You'll just get voted out instead.

CLEO

That's not how it works, Shifty.

SHIFTY

Of course it is. You've just publicly executed yourself—

CLEO

No. I've revealed where I stand. I don't like you. I'm willing to vote you out. So are these people. With that being said...I don't think I'm the one going home...

SHIFTY

Yeah, that's funny. Tell her, guys.

 _(Pause. No one says anything)_

Guys...

BRIAN

Well, uh, we're still considering our options—

SHIFTY

You're voting for me, Brian!

BRIAN

Okay, y'know what, this is supposed to be democratic. Isn't it? Can't we get some fairness here? Do people have to, like, force each other who to vote for? Do we have to force Cleo?

FLUTTERSHY

This isn't America, Brian! It's "Survivor!"

BRIAN

We're in Wyoming!

WILT

 _(Timid)_

Does...does anyone want to shoot some hoops?

BRIAN

Y'see, that's the problem in this country. Everyone has to speak for other people. It's why weed isn't legalized. It's why our health care industry is in shambles. It's why—

SHIFTY

Are we still talking about Survivor?

BRIAN

I get fired up, okay? Look Shifty, now that Clyde's gone, we _are_ considering voting for you...

SHIFTY

Oh, and that's a democracy, right? Knock out the guy who feeds the whole tribe?

BRIAN

Your women feed the tribe for you...

 _(SHIFTY runs forward, tackles BRIAN. They get into a fight. Everyone pulls them off quickly)_

JOY

Stop it! All of you! Attention, hut! I'm taking control! There will be no more discussion of this! Everyone will make up their minds independently! In three hours, we'll attend Tribal...and this will all be _over_ with. And really, you should all be disgusted with yourselves...

 _(Everyone starts to part ways. FLUTTERSHY carries SHIFTY off. He tries to protest but she guides him away. JOY storms off, furious, stomping through the SNOW. The OTHERS are left behind, bewildered, piecing together what just happened)_

* * *

 _(Cut to the CAMPFIRE. SHIFTY is furious. He sits down, glaring into the FIRE. FLUTTERSHY struggles to comfort him)_

FLUTTERSHY

Shifty, it's all right. We'll figure a way out of this…

SHIFTY

Be quiet, Fluttershy. I was using you…

FLUTTERSHY

What do you mean?

SHIFTY

What do you think? Come on, put your head together. Do you think somebody like me would go for someone like you? You were a puppet. A doll. I was stringing you along. Look, it's a big, bad world out there. If you keep acting like this, you're going to get run over. Grow up.

 _(Stunned, hurt silence)_

FLUTTERSHY

I'm glad you're going home tonight…

 _(FLUTTERSHY reaches into her PARKA. She pulls out the HAIR CLIP that SHIFTY gave her earlier. She stares at it, struggling not to cry)_

SHIFTY

What, are you giving that back?

FLUTTERSHY

 _(Forcefully)_

No. I like it. It keeps my hair out of my eyes...

* * *

 _(Cut to CHESHIRE CAT in a confessional. Something is off. His hair is mangy, tattered. His eyes are darker than usual. For some reason, he looks sickly)_

CHESHIRE CAT

When human-creatures argue, I have thoughts. In my head. Bad thoughts. Darkness. When people have emotions, I can feel them. Inside. They overwhelm me. Shifty. Brian. Shifty. Brian. Shifty. _Brian. Too much. Too much. Can't...take it..._

 _(Cut to inside the IGLOO. CHESHIRE CAT is curled up in the corner. He's twitching back and forth, holding his head. He seems to having some kind of episode. FLUTTERSHY peeks her head in, her face stained with tears)_

FLUTTERSHY

Ches, what's wrong?

CHESHIRE CAT

 _(Still smiling)_

I'm...twitching.

FLUTTERSHY

What, come closer to me. Let me help. Why hasn't anyone come to help you?

CHESHIRE CAT

I'm the outcast. Kooky. Weird. Floating. A dandelion. People. Madness. Bad thoughts. When people argue, the words...overpower me. I can't think... _straight_. I soak it in. I feel what they're feeling. But this too much. Far too much. I can't enjoy this...

FLUTTERSHY

This happens when people yell?

CHESHIRE CAT

I live...in the shadows. I can feel...their _hate._ In my head. I'm like a sponge...

FLUTTERSHY

 _(Annoyed)_

Well, come off of it. Nobody's going to help you. Nobody's going to take care of you. We're in this by ourselves…

CHESHIRE CAT

What's wrong?

FLUTTERSHY

I thought…Shifty _liked_ me.

 _(CHESHIRE CAT gives a weird cackle. Throughout his breakdown, his smile hasn't left his face. He grins and gets close to FLUTTERSHY'S face)_

CHESHIRE CAT

(Menacing)

No. No. He doesn't. His thoughts are bad. Evil. The worst. You don't know what he has planned. He _never_ liked you. The raccoon is bad, bad, bad. I can feel his thoughts. I can feel his energy. But you liked him. _"Pony and raccoon, sitting in a tree—"_

FLUTTERSHY

I came to _comfort_ you, you know...

CHESHIRE CAT

I don't need it. I can't feel your comfort.

FLUTTERSHY

What do you mean?

CHESHIRE CAT

(With swirling eyes)

I lurk in the shadows, my dear. In the treetops. I was born from darkness. See, I was created to play tricks. Make a mockery. Happy, glad, sad. None of that, no, no, no. I'm just a prankster. A jester. I don't _know_ what it's like to have friends. Feelings. I don't know what it's like to _care_ for anybody. I was born to lie, trick...and deceive.

 _(He takes a breath, composing himself)_

And...when this episode passes...I'll be back to my old self. Yes.I'm not...like you and the others. And…that's…perfectly fine and dandy. You can't bring comfort to a shadow creature...

FLUTTERSHY

Well, thanks for nothing. I wish I couldn't feel anything...

 _(FLUTTERSHY grabs the HAIR CLIP from her BAG. She breaks it in half and dumps it on the ground)_

CHESHIRE CAT

What is this?

FLUTTERSHY

Keep it. I don't want it.

 _(FLUTTERSHY crawls out of the IGLOO. CHESHIRE CAT seems troubled. He glances at the BROKEN HAIR CLIP. He pokes it. He touches it with his nose. He seems fascinated, piecing together what's happened)_

CHESHIRE CAT

A hair-clip. She's given me...a hair-clip.

 _(Pause. He seems mesmerized)_

The child… _likes_ me…

* * *

 _(Cut to the BASKETBALL COURT. JOY seems to have her spirits back. She's playing a one-on-one game of basketball with WILT. WILT has the BALL of ICE, trying to keep it away from her. He still seems troubled by what's happened)_

WILT

Joy, I still feel really bad about today…

JOY

It's okay. Come on, give me a one, two, half-court shot—

 _(JOY snatches the BALL of ICE. She throws it and dunks it in the BASKET)_

WILT

That was really good. And, like, not for a girl. I mean—

JOY

 _(Laughing)_

Don't sweat it. Everything's fine now…

 _(BRIAN jogs into the scene. He waves at the OTHERS. WILT nods, drifting away. He goes to shoot BASKETS by himself)_

BRIAN

What's this, you've got your strength back? Now that Shifty's going?

JOY

Yeah, I don't know. Bad head space. Being out here, y'know, it's like the first time I felt outside myself. With everyone looking at me. Thinking I'd lost it. I felt like I didn't have control anymore…

BRIAN

Yeah, I've been there…

JOY

I'll bet…

BRIAN

No. Y'know, I've, uh, I've had some sore sports. I lost touch with my family when I was little. Then I kind of buzzed around for a while. Got into some stuff I shouldn't have. Dropped out of college. Woke up one morning in the back of an animal shelter sleeping on a broken whiskey bottle. I mean, if I hadn't found a home, I probably wouldn't be here right now...

JOY

I didn't know that, Brian…

BRIAN

Well, y'know, I root for the underdog.

 _(BRIAN smiles and wraps his hand around her shoulder. JOY seems put-off, a little uncomfortable)_

JOY

Can you not, like—

BRIAN

What? I was just taking a twig out of your hair.

JOY

Don't touch me. I don't like that…

 _(Cut to JOY in a confessional)_

JOY

I don't know who's genuine now. Who isn't. It's like, where I come from, I can trust people up-front. Everyone's for the good of the company. Here, it's like, people are telling me things, trying to relate, saying sad things about their lives, I can't tell if they're using me. But, y'know...I maneuvered this vote okay. I'm just going to keep on trucking. Shifty's going home...

* * *

 _(Cut to FLUTTERSHY in a confessional. She's on the verge of tears)_

FLUTTERSHY

People think of me as a wallflower. A coward. A speck on the wall. Shifty took that and used it to his advantage. I could let them vote him out. I could go forward and let them all drag me along. But if I want control, real control, I have to turn the tables. I have to _use_ Shifty like he used me. I have to show him how it feels...

 _(Cut to FLUTTERSHY walking through the WOODS. She holds a FLASHLIGHT, struggling to see in the shadows. It's sunset and the FOREST is full of shadows. She peeks under ROCKS, fiddling with her MITTENS, trying to stay warm)_

FLUTTERSHY

 _(Muttering)_

Where are you, immunity Idol?

 _(There's a rumbling behind her. FLUTTERSHY is skittish. She sits there, petrified, trying to look in her peripherals. Over the bend, a large GRIZZLY BEAR is sitting behind a BUSH. It rises up, snorting, glancing over at her. FLUTTERSHY doesn't move. She stares forward, frigid, trying not to attract attention)_

FLUTTERSHY

 _(Muttering to herself)_

Nice...teddy bear...

 _(The BEAR roars and jumps up. FLUTTERSHY shrieks and starts running for her life. She sprints through trees in a whirlwind, running, not looking back. Suddenly, there's a PURPLE CRACK of SMOKE in the AIR. FLUTTERSHY sees two, glowing eyes staring back at her. CHESHIRE CAT appears out of thin air, grinning. He flips upside down and stares at her)_

CHESHIRE CAT

Let's take you somewhere more quiet...

 _(CHESHIRE CAT snaps his fingers. FLUTTERSHY vanishes with him. The camera spins around, confused, trying to find them. It points up into the air. CHESHIRE CAT now sits on a TREE BRANCH with FLUTTERSHY. He hums to himself, purring, staring out into space. FLUTTERSHY couldn't be more confused)_

FLUTTERSHY

Ches...you saved me...

 _(CHESHIRE CAT reaches into his KNAPSACK. He pulls out the BROKEN HAIR CLIP. He holds it to FLUTTERSHY, confused. His eyes seem sad, delighted, and a mix of other things. He isn't sure what to make of it)_

CHESHIRE CAT

Was this...a present for me?

FLUTTERSHY

What?

CHESHIRE CAT

To express...feelings?

 _(FLUTTERSHY catches on. She realizes what he's saying. She nods eagerly, very happy for him. CHESHIRE CAT starts to giggle, rocking back and forth. Without warning, he hugs and squeezes her tight)_

CHESHIRE CAT

This is a hug, correct? This is what human-creatures do? Hugs? Thank you...for taking care of me. This is new. It's all so real. Nobody has ever taken care of me. Why, I feel things. In my chest. Delight. All over...

FLUTTERSHY

Anytime, Ches...

 _(She pushes him off lightly)_

But...you have to do me a favor tonight...

 _(Cut to FLUTTERSHY in a confessional)_

FLUTTERSHY

It took a lot of thinking...but Cleo's really unpredictable and I don't want to keep her around. If we have the numbers now, I'd rather shoot for her than Brian or Wilt...

* * *

 _(Cut back to CAMP. JOY sits by the CAMPFIRE, humming thoughtfully. She feeds TWIGS into the FIRE. FLUTTERSHY walks up behind her. She looks very happy)_

FLUTTERSHY

Joy, we have enough votes now!

JOY

What?

FLUTTERSHY

Yeah, I got Cheshire Cat to flip. So Shifty's going to stay. You're still on board, right? We could vote out Cleo for flipping...

 _(BRIAN appears on the other side. He smiles and walks over)_

BRIAN

Hey Joy, you're still on board, right?

JOY

Yes. Totally. Completely.

FLUTTERSHY

On board with what?

JOY

The, uh...nothing, Fluttershy. The schedules. For fishing. The _fishing_ schedules...

 _(BRIAN gives her a weird look. She nods, smiling, assuring him it's all right. BRIAN walks off. JOY turns back to FLUTTERSHY. She has a very forced smile)_

FLUTTERSHY

Joy, you're with us, right? You always have been...

JOY

 _(Quick)_

Yes. Okay. I'm on board. I'll see you at Tribal…

 _(FLUTTERSHY gives her a weird look as well. She shrugs and walks off. JOY takes a moment to process this. Then she's completely horrified. She buries her face in her hands)_

Oh no, no, no, no…

* * *

 _(Cut to the IGLOO. SHIFTY is curled up in the corner, fuming, keeping to himself. He's more or less trying to accept his fate. FLUTTERSHY pokes her head into the IGLOO. She glares at him. She holds the BROKEN HAIR CLIP in his face)_

SHIFTY

What the hell is that?

FLUTTERSHY

I saved you from going home. I grew up. You should too…

 _(With difficulty, FLUTTERSHY places the CLIP into her hair. She smirks at SHIFTY, not much different than the smile that he always gave her. Then she leaves the IGLOO. SHIFTY is terrified, lost for words. He curls up in the corner)_

* * *

 _(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL. The SHOSHONE TRIBE enters with their TORCHES and places them down against the RACK. They all gather together on LOGS, watching as the HOST takes his place at his PODIUM. He smiles at all of them, ready to begin)_

 _HOST_

All right, so even after winning the first challenge, I feel like this is a very unhappy tribe. Wilt, you're a polite, well-intentioned guy. How have you been fitting in with the chaos here?

WILT

Well, really, I've just been trying to avoid the drama. Like, I know everyone has their own sense of how this game should be played. That you have to cut people's throats. That you have to be mean. But y'know, I'm not like that. I'm sure I'm not. And I don't think I will be in the future. So...there's different ways to play this game. And if you don't respect mine, you can... _back off._

 _(WILT shudders like he's just said something malicious)_

 _HOST_

Cheshire Cat, _t_ alk us through what's going on. And please, don't use a metaphor or a riddle or anything that rhymes…

CHESHIRE

Everyone yelled. Splish-splash, wishity-wash in my brain. Bad thoughts. They overwhelmed. But then pony came to me. Helped me. Made me feel things. In here.

 _(He points to his CHEST)_

She gave me this hair-clip. So now...I'm in her debt in this game…

HOST

So if I follow that correctly, Fluttershy...you comforted Cheshire Cat when nobody else would?

FLUTTERSHY

I think a lot of people treated him like an outcast. So I felt bad. I wanted to help. I've been there and I related...

HOST

By the look if it though, there's more outcasts here. Cleo, you've been isolated, belittled. You haven't had a friend in the world here. Does that put you in any danger?

CLEO

No. I think I'm perfectly fine tonight. People look at me and they think, look at her, she's so malicious. She's evil. Look at what she did today. But really, they're the ones who made fun of me first. They're the ones that made me so upset with this tribe that I couldn't even sleep in the same shelter as them. So I've done what I can. And now whoever leaves brought this upon themselves…

HOST

And Shifty, you've had a rough day too. Care to chime in?

SHIFTY

(Timid)

Okay, I realize I've offended a lot of people. It was really, out-of-character for me—

FLUTTERSHY

It was completely in-character.

HOST

No love from Fluttershy…

FLUTTERSHY

He openly admitted to using all of us. Now, he's a dead man walking. He's just trying to get sympathy. But if everything goes right tonight, his crooked face will see the sun rise tomorrow…

HOST

 _"If everything goes right tonight."_ Brian, is that a red flag for you?

BRIAN

Personally, I don't know what Fluttershy's talking about. We have the votes we need. Shifty's going home…

FLUTTERSHY

That's what you think.

HOST

Okay, now people are getting suspicious.

JOY

(Frightened)

Fluttershy, please, stop talking. It's fine. He's going home…

FLUTTERSHY

What do you mean? You said you were with us…

JOY

I am! I am with you! But can't we just, like, maneuver the situation—

SHIFTY

(Confused)

What?

JOY

Please, everyone. We talked about it. We're going to see it through. Let's just vote. No more questions…

HOST

That was very left-field…

BRIAN

Joy, are you with us or not?

FLUTTERSHY

Joy, are you with us or—

BRIAN

(Realizing)

I knew it! I freaking knew it!

JOY

Okay, I was playing both sides.

BRIAN

We trusted you. I asked you. I was totally sincere.

JOY

Can we cut the sincerity stuff? There's nothing sincere about this game…

HOST

Joy, it looks like you've been caught red-handed. Is this changing anyone's options now?

BRIAN

Well, now that she's come clean, she's a swing vote. Based on what she chooses, that's who goes home. We can't do anything to stop her. So yes, we're looking at other alternatives. We have to. And that blows, because I really wanted Shifty to leave...

JOY

(Mocking)

Great. Yes. Turn on me. That was your plan.

HOST

Joy, would you like to make a statement?

JOY

I came into this tribe with _one_ goal. Unity. I wanted to create a positive environment. For everyone. I wanted to create a team that would be able to take down Dakota. I don't know if the word team isn't – in your vocabularies or something – but I've tolerated bullying, mean-spiritedness – just to try to hold you all together. If you flip on me, right now, I can assure you: you will lose _every_ challenge—

BRIAN

Okay. I have what I need. Can we please just vote now?

HOST

Let her finish—

JOY

Okay, Brian, you're probably a nice guy outside the game. I respect you. But today - I'm really starting to think you manipulated me-

BRIAN

What?

JOY

You saw that I was crying and jumped on it. I mean, I don't know, when you're not in my alliance, isn't it kind of, like, uncharacteristic of you to come over and-

BRIAN

You were grateful! I was trying to help!

JOY

Well, okay, but I'm just saying: you may have deliberately put me in the middle. You knew I was in an alliance with Shifty, so when I was hurt, you jumped at the chance to get me on your side. You knew this would happen. That's all I'm saying...

BRIAN

Okay, y'know, this is so forced and hypocritical. Can I say something?

HOST

Please.

BRIAN

I've been through a lot in my life. I don't try to market it. I don't preach anything. But I pride myself – proudly – knowing that I didn't hurt anyone else to get there. And I would never – under any circumstances – manipulate Joy the way she's saying. I was trying to help. It just happens...that we're also playing the game. Now please, can we vote?

HOST

Wilt, you've been completely silent. Do you have any input?

JOY

(After a moment)

Wilt, I shouldn't have freaked out at you today. I'm a control freak…

WILT

(Awkwardly)

It's okay…

HOST

It is time to vote. Joy, you're up.

* * *

 _(Cut to JOY in the VOTING BOOTH)_

 _JOY_

This is Joy, head of all emotional processing in Riley Anderson's imagination. And I leave you with just that. Joy. Peace and love. I'm sorry.

 _(Cut to SHIFTY in the VOTING BOOTH)_

 _SHIFTY_

My smile broke today. But I'm down. Not out. Tomorrow's going to be a shift in a new direction…

 _(Cut to FLUTTERSHY in the VOTING BOOTH)_

 _FLUTTERSHY_

Joy, I'm sorry, but you're really bad at this game. I am too but…wow, I can't think of anything witty to say. Um, _"I'm rubber, you're glue. What you say comes back to you."_ You shouldn't have lied to everyone...

(Cut to BRIAN in the VOTING BOOTH)

 _BRIAN_

Joy, I did my best for you…

 _(Cut to CHESHIRE CAT in the VOTING BOOTH. He has the HAIR CLIP in his HAIR)_

 _CHESHIRE CAT_

I'm beautiful. I'm beautiful…

 _(Cut to WILT in the VOTING BOOTH. He seems disgusted with himself)_

 _WILT_

Joy, I'm really sorry. This is all my fault. All those comments today. Here, take this vote. As a goodbye present. God, I'm a monster…

 _(Cut to CLEO in the VOTING BOOTH. CLEO hurls a string of obscenities at JOY. It's all bleeped out. Then she speaks intelligibly)_

 _CLEO_

I didn't know who would go home if I flipped, but I'm really glad it's you...

 _(CLEO smiles and puts the vote in the URN)_

* * *

 _(The HOST returns from the HALLWAY with the URN of VOTES. He smiles out at the CONTESTANTS)_

HOST

If anyone has a hidden immunity Idol and would like to play it, now would be the time to do so.

 _(Nobody rises)_

I will now read the votes...

* * *

 **FIRST VOTE**

 **BRIAN**

 **SECOND VOTE**

 **BRIAN**

 **THIRD VOTE**

 **JOY**

 **FOURTH VOTE**

 **JOY**

 **FIFTH VOTE**

 **JOY**

 **SIXTH VOTE**

 **JOY**

 **SEVENTH VOTE**

 **JOY**

 **Second person voted out of Animation Brawl: Yellowstone…**

 **JOY**

* * *

 _(Cut to the TRIBE'S REACTIONS. Everyone is staring at JOY. She's humiliated, covering her face, realizing she more or less ruined her game in a single Tribal)_

JOY

Okay, I know there was a lot of friction here, but I was happy to play with all of you. Good luck. I hope one of you wins…

 _(Some give a half-hearted, "Goodbye, Joy." She gets up and walks to the HOST with her TORCH. She stares at him, struggling to smile, waiting to meet her maker. The HOST puts out her TORCH)_

HOST

Joy, the tribe has spoken. Time for you to go…

 _(JOY nods and takes off down the HALLWAY. The HOST turns to the OTHERS)_

HOST

Well tonight, we had some dramatic shifts. Some of you turned into players. Some players got played. And the person in the middle got run over. Let's see how it plays out. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp.

* * *

 **WILT voted for BRIAN**

 **JOY voted for BRIAN**

 **SHIFTY voted for JOY**

 **FLUTTERSHY voted for JOY**

 **BRIAN voted for JOY**

 **CHESHIRE CAT voted for JOY**

 **CLEO voted for JOY**

* * *

A/N: Poor Joy. She could have survived if she literally just picked a side at Tribal and stuck to it. But her emotions – predictably – got the better of her. Joy had kind of a weird edit. She had a pretty positive first episode and then turned into a flaming train-wreck in the second. I like how her story played out though and you're going to see the immediate consequences soon.

Also, keep in mind Clyde will be back next round, which could easily stir the pot. We'll check in with him on Exile in the near future...


	6. Feeling It, Part I

_(Cut to EXILE ISLAND. The long patch of ICE. The DECREPIT OLD BARN at the edge of the CLEARING. The HELICOPTER touches down. The DOOR pops open. CLYDE is pushed out, grumbling, falling down into the snow. He gets up and dusts himself off)_

CLYDE

Yeah, yeah, wise guy, huh? Well, you better watch out. I _know_ people...

 _(Cut to CLYDE in a confessional. He's hugging himself, freezing)_

CLYDE

I came on this show cause I've got a reputation, all right? I'm in a slump. Back home, back where I live, we ain't got nothing better to do then chase this yellow guy around in a maze all day. And we've been at that for a good thirty years. And y'know, I keep telling them, we'll get him, we'll get him, but y'know, it's a whole lot of crap now. I gotta motivate my friends; what else do we have to look forward to? You can only take so many days of busting your heels, running in circles. My gang's losing hope. And a check for a whole lot of moola, well... _that'll_ change things around.

 _(He hops up and down, trying to warm up)_

So Pinky, Blinky, Inky...Sue...especially Sue...I'm freezing for you here...

 _(Cut to a few hours later. CLYDE makes his way into the BARN. He crawls down a DARK SHAFT, searching around in corners. He makes his way to the GREEN BOX that SLAPPY unlocked earlier. He picks up the NOTE she attached to it)_

CLYDE

Well, well, what have we got here? "Steven's has a hidden immunity Idol. He's in an alliance with..." Wait, she gave it to me. Everything. About the other tribe. Hell yeah, there's life in that old broad yet!

 _(Excited, he flips the PAPER around)_

And...what's this? "Congratulations, you have found a clue to the Ghost Vote. This is a special advantage devised specifically for this season. If you play the Ghost Vote, after you're voted out, you can dump a vote on somebody still in the game at the next Tribal Council." Well, how about that? Ghost vote for a ghost... _"At the next challenge, the advantage will be hidden in clean sight. You must...get the advantage without anyone else seeing it. Good luck..."_

 _(He crumbles it up)_

Well, nothing to me ever came easy...

 _(There's a strong gust of WIND that rattles through the BARN. CLYDE shivers, hugging himself. He pulls his FEDORA tighter over his head to keep warm. He glances up through the cracks of the CIELING. The FULL MOON is visible in the sky)_

CLYDE

Don't worry, Sue. We'll blow up that maze with dynamite...

 _(CLYDE glances from side-to-side, almost nervous that somebody is watching. He reaches into his KNAPSACK and pulls out a SMALL BOX. He opens it up and reveals a WEDDING RING. It glistens in the MOONLIGHT)_

CLYDE

And we'll do much more than that...

* * *

 _(Cut back to the SHOSHONE CAMP. Everyone places their TORCHES up against the TREE. CLEO surveys everyone with a big smile on her face)_

CLEO

I'd like everyone to know that my Snow Palace is now open for reservations. You're allowed to sleep there. If interested, please stop at the front door, apologize for how you treated me, and come inside…

 _(CLEO winks and walks into her PALACE. Short silence. BRIAN sighs and starts walking toward the PALACE)_

FLUTTERSHY

What? Brian, you can't humor her!

BRIAN

She's in my alliance. I'm sorry, I'm going to the Palace…

 _(BRIAN vanishes into the SNOW PALACE. WILT sighs and walks in after him, struggling to fit inside because of his height. SHIFTY, CHESHIRE CAT, and FLUTTERSHY are left standing by the CAMPFIRE. FLUTTERSHY turns to look at SHIFTY)_

FLUTTERSHY

Shifty, please don't tell me you're going in there…

SHIFTY

 _(Sweetly)_

What? Aren't you grown up now? You can take care of yourself….

 _(SHIFTY whistles and walks into the PALACE. FLUTTERSHY glares at him. She's left alone with CHESHIRE CAT. He hugs her tight)_

CHESHIRE CAT

(Giggling)

Don't worry. At least we have each other…

 _(Cut to later that night. Close-up on the OLD SHELTER. FLUTTERSHY is the only one sleeping in it now. Everyone else is safe, invisible in the confines of the SNOW PALACE. CHESHIRE CAT snoozes next to her, snoring very loudly. FLUTTERSHY can't sleep. There's a strong gust of wind. Planks of WOOD from the SHELTER'S ROOF go sailing off, vanishing into the WOODS._

 _CLEO exits the SNOW PALACE. She yawns, smiling over at the OLD SHELTER. When she notices FLUTTERSHY, she frowns)_

CLEO

You know, I don't hate you. This is all in your head. It's warm in here. Just come inside…

 _(No response from FLUTTERSHY. CLEO sighs)_

Look, you're going to freeze out here. That shelter's garbage. I knew what I was doing when I built mine—

FLUTTERSHY

(Shivering)

I don't approve…of how...you treated people…

CLEO

I don't approve of how you treated me either. Come on, come inside. Let's call a truce…

 _(FLUTTERSHY grumbles. She gets up from the SHELTER. She picks up CHESHIRE CAT, unwilling to wake him up. Awkwardly, carrying him with both arms, she wanders into the SNOW PALACE. At the entrance, CLEO tries to offer her a smile. FLUTTERSHY doesn't return it, vanishes inside the PALACE. CLEO sighs and goes back inside)_

* * *

 _(Cut to the following morning. BRIAN, WILT, and CLEO are all gathered around the CAMPFIRE. They're in the middle of a deep discussion)_

WILT

So what happens if Clyde comes back?

BRIAN

We have to do what we weren't doing before. We have to humor him. Make him like us…

CLEO

Yeah, right. You treated him like a tadpole.

BRIAN

Well, what choice does he have? If he went with the others…

CLEO

There's nothing stopping him, Brian! He could flip! Then it would be four against three and we'd be screwed. Here, why don't we try and pull in somebody else?

BRIAN

We can't pull in Ches. He's Fluttershy's pet now…

CLEO

No. I'm not talking about the psychopathic cat. I'm talking about the raccoon...

 _(Cut to CLEO in a confessional)_

CLEO

I want to pull in Shifty. I mean, Fluttershy basically emasculated him and turned him into a little girl. He's a free vote. Clearly...he doesn't _want_ to be in that alliance. We have to work him over…

* * *

 _(Cut to the outskirts of CAMP. BRIAN and CLEO have cornered SHIFTY on the edge of the FOREST. He holds an armful of FIREWOOD)_

BRIAN

So really? You'd be down for turning on them?

SHIFTY

I mean, I never pledged allegiance to her. Girl's looking at me like she owns me or something. But I'm just smiling back, y'know, minding my business. She's whacked in the head…

BRIAN

When Clyde comes back, you'd be willing to work with him?

SHIFTY

I mean, there's bigger fish to fry…

 _(Cut to SHIFTY in a confessional)_

SHIFTY

Yeah, I lost my spark last round. It happens. But y'know, even when you get called in to the station, you got to smile for your mugshot. Got to keep the charm. Fluttershy's thinking she owns me right now. Which is good. _Hilarious._ I'm just waiting to cut her throat…

* * *

 _(Cut to the center of CAMP. FLUTTERSHY naps on the LOG in front of the CAMPFIRE. She is wearing SHIFTY'S FEDORA on her head. SHIFTY enters. He notices her wearing his hat and looks enraged)_

SHIFTY

Are you wearing my fedora?

FLUTTERSHY

(Dryly)

Yeah, what does it look like?

SHIFTY

Stupid kid. I keep telling you. That's a heirloom. Give it—

FLUTTERSHY

Nah, I like it. Keeps the sun out of my eyes. And I don't know, I think you owe me a little for saving you. So here, I'll keep it. Souvenir…

SHIFTY

You're pretty smug, aren't you?

FLUTTERSHY

I'm standing up for myself; there's a difference…

SHIFTY

Against what, Fluttershy? What did I ever _do_ to you?

 _(She ignores him)_

You want to know the truth about me? I don't work for charities in the city. I've never helped anyone in my life. I'm a thug. A thief. The producers got me off this show by paying off a judge. I jacked hubcaps off a Ferrari. So I don't know, sorry we weren't a match made in heaven. It's not that I _hate_ you. We just have nothing in common.

 _(Pause. FLUTTERSHY turns over, not looking at him)_

…So you made a bone-headed move by saving me. You're sitting duck. If I flip now, then you're the prime target. But I'm _still_ willing to work with you. I'm being nice. . Give me back my hat. And we'll see what we can do…

FLUTTERSHY

Here you go. Don't want you to get frostbite…

 _(Cut to FLUTTERSHY in a confessional)_

FLUTTERSHY

Shifty came over and tried to apologize. I mean, it was super-super transparent. But he kind of ticked me off. Like, he's saying that I owe allegiance to him now for flipping. If I voted him off – in any situation at all – he wouldn't even give me credit for it. Because he thinks I'm lesser than him.

 _(She gets a dark smile)_

But...it's not like Shifty didn't teach me anything. When he finally does goes home…it's going to be me and me alone…

* * *

 _(Cut to BRIAN in a confessional)_

 _BRIAN_

All right, so after this tribe turned into the Thunderdome – after I shook off my goddamned migraine – I decided to finally go out and get the Idol…

 _(Cut to BRIAN wandering through the WOODS. He glances around, making sure the coast is clear. He ducks and crouches between different trees. Then he makes his way to the CAVE. He glances up at the STALAGMITES at the entrance. The HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL is still tied to a CRYSTAL on top. BRIAN bites his lip, curious, questioning how to get it done)_

 _(Cut to BRIAN in a confessional)_

BRIAN

Sometimes, when I'm anxious and stuff, I imagine I'm somebody else. Like, a famous writer. Or a famous actor. Or somebody with a lot of money who can drink and be called classy for it…instead of…drunk

 _(Cut back to the scene. BRIAN has taken SEVERAL LONG STICKS and tied them together. He edges the POLE up to the CAVE'S ENTRANCE on top. Very slowly, he starts to poke the IMMUNITY IDOL off the CRYSTAL. It starts to teeter, loosening)_

BRIAN

 _(Muttering)_

That's right, that's right. Top dog, top dog. That's right, Shoshone; suck it…

 _(There's the sound of FOOTSTEPS – not from behind BRIAN, but inside the CAVE. He panics, looking around, wondering where to go. Out of nowhere, WILT steps out of the CAVE with an ARMFUL of CRYSTALS. He smiles at BRIAN and waves)_

BRIAN

Wilt, what the hell are you doing in there?

WILT

Oh, you should see it, man! This cave is full of crystals! It's crazy cool! I was thinking of taking them home to my friends as souvenirs. Oh, look, there's some more up here—

BRIAN

No! Stop!

 _(With no effort, because of his height, WILT smiles and reaches up to the CRYSTALS on top. He fidgets around. Then, curious, he grabs the HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL. He yanks it off and holds it, squinting, wondering what it is)_

WILT

Well gee, this is a weird one. Did somebody leave this here?

BRIAN

 _(Aghast)_

You...I…we—

WILT

Are you shivering, Brian? Here, let's get you back to camp. You can warm up…

BRIAN

THIS GAME IS FIXED, UNBALANCED, AND CORRUPT! **** ME IN THE ASS!

 _(BRIAN storms off. He kicks a PILE of SNOW, sending FROST flying everywhere. WILT smiles at him unsurely)_

WILT

(Waving)

Okay, well, I'll see you later!

* * *

 _(Cut to BRIAN in a confessional. He looks desperate)_

BRIAN

Wilt found the Idol first. Wilt. Of all people. Wilt doesn't even understand the game. They just brought him on here to be athletic and compete in challenges. He's just holding that thing now like a little knick-knack. But it's okay. Wilt... _likes_ me...I think. So...he'll just do what I tell him...

 _(Cut back to CAMP. WILT and BRIAN are sitting together at the CAMPFIRE. They're in the middle of a deep discussion)_

BRIAN

Okay, so if you play this at Tribal, the way it's going to work...is that it cancels all the votes against you. But if you want, you can play it for somebody else…

WILT

(Laughing) Well, I mean, I'd have to be pretty dumb. Why would I give this up to somebody else?

BRIAN

I mean, to protect them…

WILT

Well, I have to protect myself first, little buddy. I know. You guy's think I'm kind of dorky. Super polite and stuff. The host even said so last night. But really, Joy going home...I think I'm turning over a new leaf. I mean, this is all in good fun! It just happens that there's money involved. But really, who _needs_ money? I think we're all above that. So let's enjoy ourselves…

BRIAN

(Lost for words)

Wilt, are you a real person? Like…are you actually not joking?

WILT

(Smiling)

What do you think the challenge is going to be today?

 _(SHIFTY waves and walks over. He kneels down beside the FIRE. He starts to feed leaves into it)_

SHIFTY

Evening, gentleman. How goes it?

WILT

Oh, not much. I mean, I found the hidden immunity Idol…

SHIFTY

Did you now?

BRIAN

(Appalled)

This is _actually_ happening…

SHIFTY

 _(Throwing his arm around WILT)_

Well here Wilt buddy, let's talk business. I'm a negotiator, you see. And what you've got there...well, there's a lot of potential. Real lot of earning potential down the road. So, I don't know, how about a little contract? It's a lot of power to put on somebody—

WILT

Well, gee, I guess that might be cool—

BRIAN

No! He's mine!

SHIFTY

Easy now. Let him make up his mind—

 _(CLEO, FLUTTERSHY, and CHESHIRE CAT walk over. They've all heard the commotion)_

CLEO

What's going on here now?

WILT

I found the Idol! We'll solve this in the most civil way possible…

CLEO

Ooh, wait, you found it? Does it sparkle? Let me see it—

FLUTTERSHY

Stop flirting with him! Wilt, could I please see it? _Please?_

 _(Everyone starts speaking around him: "Wilt, Wilt, Wilt." WILT covers his ears, trying to ignore them. He steps up, crossing away a bit. Everyone follows him, trying to get his attention)_

WILT

Everyone, please, just-

CLEO

 _Puh-leaaaase!_ I'll be your best friend!

SHIFTY

Come on, man. Don't let them push you around. You've got to put your foot down—

WILT

 _(Annoyed)_

Okay, y'know what? I will! I will! Everyone, can I have your attention? I'm...I'm getting really upset about this. All of you look at me, and you're like, "gee, let's take advantage of him." Well, y'know what? I'm going to _hide_ the Idol. Nobody gets it. I'm going to hide it off in the woods, and even if anyone finds it, it's still in my possession..…

 _(Cut to WILT in a confessional)_

WILT

All of these people are in it for themselves...

* * *

 _(Cut to a few hours later. Everyone is lounging around CAMP. WILT is off in the corner, pouting, sitting on his own LOG and facing the WOODS. Everyone else is minding their business. FLUTTERSHY and CHESHIRE CAT rush out from the other side of the SNOW PALACE with a NOTE)_

FLUTTERSHY

Hey guys? Look, we have mail. We have mail—

CHESHIRE CAT

Read it! Make mouth-words!

 _(Everyone gathers around FLUTTERSHY. She reads the LETTER, addressing the whole group)_

 _FLUTTERSHY_

 _"_ _Last time you lost. You went and sunk. Now you'll have to jump and dunk…"_

BRIAN

Sounds like basketball to me…

SHIFTY

 _(Looking over at WILT)_

Oh crap…

CLEO

I'll handle it. You guys are too soft on him…

 _(CLEO struts off toward WILT. She sits down on the LOG beside him, glaring at him from behind. WILT struggles to ignore her)_

CLEO

Hey Wilt, it's a basketball challenge. Wake up...

WILT

Then can you please stop fighting? It's driving me up the wall…

CLEO

We're fighting because you're too weak-willed to play the game. Look at you. You're seven-feet tall. You're a challenge beast. You could tear through this whole game if you wanted to, but part you, like…genuinely doesn't _want_ to play it. It's just a waste for you to be here…

WILT

That doesn't insult me, Cleo…

CLEO

I can get harsher if I need to. Want to see?

WILT

I _don't_ think about myself. All I care about is everyone else. You can't hurt my feelings. Ever. It doesn't matter…

CLEO

Hey, Wilt.

WILT

What?

CLEO

You suck at basketball…

 _(Pause)_

WILT

Oh, you did not go there…

 _(Cut to WILT in a confessional. He looks very angry)_

WILT

At this challenge today, I'm going to try harder then I ever had in my life...

* * *

 **A/N: Well, Shoshone is a mess if there ever was one. Check in with part two soon to see if Dakota's faring any better…**


	7. Feeling It, Part II

_(Cut to the DAKOTA CAMP. MANDY and STEVEN sit together on the LOG. STEVEN is rubbing his stomach. It groans loudly from hunger pains. He cringes and soothes it with his fingers)_

MANDY

Steven, get a grip. There's kids in Africa starving right now...

STEVEN

I know. And I'm failing them. They're probably hating me, Mandy...

 _(ABIGAIL enters. She smiles and holds TWO FISH tied to a STRING)_

ABIGAIL

Got these bad babies in the stream. Wildin' out ya'll. You lookin' at the snow queen. Here, who wants to clean them?

 _(ABIGAIL drops the FISH down. She smiles and walks off. MANDY sighs and picks up one of the FISH. She starts to wash it down with a RAG. For some reason, to herself almost, she starts to sniffle. STEVEN notices. He looks uncomfortable)_

STEVEN

Mandy, are you crying?

MANDY

No.

STEVEN

Okay….

MANDY

I haven't cried since I was little. It's just…the weather…getting to me….

STEVEN

(After a moment)

Why do you hate Abigail?

MANDY

I _don't._ I mean, I do. I mean…whatever Steven, who cares? Honestly. It's not like it matters...

STEVEN

Here, help me clean the fish. You'll feel better...

 _(STEVEN starts to clean the FISH. MANDY watches him, curious, unsure of what she's feeling. She bites her lip. STEVEN drops a FISH into her LAP. He smiles at her a little. Gets her to smile back. MANDY sighs and starts cleaning the FISH)_

 _(Cut to MANDY in a confessional)_

MANDY

I don't know what I've been feeling toward Steven...and I don't like it…

* * *

 _(Cut to MARCELINE in a confessional)_

 _MARCELINE_

So I've been using Jack as my lap dog. My human shield to save myself in the game. Which was all right at first. He's _nice_. It just so happens…that he's also clinically insane...

 _(Cut to the outskirts of CAMP. A large clearing of ICE stretching out toward the MOUNTAINS in the distance. DEAD POSSUMS are littered in ROWS like a GRAVEYARD. MARCELINE and JACK are in the process of laying them out one-by-one. JACK seems to be having the time of his life)_

JACK

GLORIOUS! IN ALL ITS GLORY! MY OWN UNDEAD PETTING ZOO! Now wait here, Marceline! I'm going to fetch those dead squirrels…

 _(JACK whistles and walks off. MARCELINE looks around at their handiwork. She waits until JACK is gone. Then she kneels down, sitting beside one of the DEAD POSSUMS. She reaches into her KNAPSACK and rummages through it, searching for something. As she does, MANDY walks in from the side)_

MANDY

What is this?

MARCELINE

Um, a petting zoo. I think? For dead possums. Jack found a bunch in the woods. Y'know, keeps him entertained...

 _(MARCELINE pulls a FIRECRACKER out of her KNAPSACK)_

MANDY

Then why do you have that?

MARCELINE

I'm going to blow one up in his face—

MANDY

What?

MANDY

Yeah. Then he'll see what a whack-job I am. Then he'll leave me alone. He'll stop, like, following me _around_ all the time. You don't get it. He's driving me crazy...

MANDY

Then why don't you just vote him out?

MANDY

I don't know! I don't want to!

 _(MARCELINE stuffs the FIRECRACKER into the DEAD POSSUM'S mouth. MANDY is amazed)_

MANDY

And I'm coming to _you_ for advice? You're crazy too…

MARCELINE

What is it? Your time of the month?

MANDY

I've heard the dead don't _feel_ things. Right? There's no blood in their brains; they feel nothing. So I kind of want to be...

MARCELINE

(Shocked)

Wait – A VAMPIRE?

MANDY

Yes. I'm tired of feelings things out here-

MARCELINE

Mandy, you're whacked in the head, come on-

MANDY

No. It's not helping me toward getting the million. It makes everything hard. I mean, before I never felt anything-

MARCELINE

Then what changed?

MANDY

I don't know! Just come on, make me a vampire. I'll make it worth your while...

MARCELINE

Kid, I've been dead for a good three-hundred years. And I still feel a lot of things, okay? Too much in fact. Now if you'll excuse me…I have to blow up possums to end my friendship...

 _(MARCELINE starts walking off across the ICE with her KNAPSACK. JACK reenters. He holds an armful of DEAD SQUIRRELS. He waves to MANDY)_

JACK

Why the long face?

MANDY

I want to be a vampire. Can you help me, Jack?

JACK

Why yes, your pale face, your grimace, your pasty complexion. You'd be a terrific vampire….

MANDY

She's scared she'll mess up...

JACK

(Winking)

Not to worry...

* * *

 _(Cut to several minutes later. JACK has dug a LARGE TRENCH in the GROUND with a SHOVEL. MANDY sits at the bottom, patient, waiting to be buried alive)_

JACK

An old trick from Transylvania. Burying someone alive. Guaranteed to create a vampire or your money back...

MANDY

(Calling up to him)

HURRY UP!

 _(PANCHITO enters. He waves and walks over, curious as JACK works with the SHOVEL)_

PANCHITO

Hello mis amigos! The day is bright! The sun - she sings! Hello Jack! Hello Mandy-in-the-hole! Hello – POSSUMS?

 _(He looks around)_

There are possums everywhere! HELLO POSSUMS!

JACK

Do you like my petting zoo?

 _(In the distance, MARCELINE is working with one of the POSSUMS. She lights the FIRECRACKER. It explodes, spraying POSSUM GUTS everywhere._

 _PANCHITO is horrified. JACK is too busy digging, doesn't notice. MARCELINE glances around awkwardly. She shrugs and waves at PANCHITO)_

PANCHITO

ADIOS MIO! WITCHCRAFT! WITCHCRAFT!

 _(PANCHITO screams and runs off. JACK turns around, confused. He looks over and sees MARCELINE stained with POSSUM GUTS)_

JACK

Marceline? What are you doing over there?

MARCELINE

(Awkwardly, calling out)

I'm…I'm a basketcase. Guess we can't pal around anymore! Right?

JACK

Exploding possums? Brilliant! The stroke of a true genius!

 _(JACK stretches out his arms. MARCELINE storms over, annoyed. Her plan failed. She notices MANDY still waiting in the GRAVE. She jumps back in shock)_

MARCELINE

JACK, ARE YOU BURYING HER?

JACK

I'm turning her into a vampire...

MARCELINE

What? No! No! Stop! Are you crazy? She's human; she doesn't deserve that!

 _(MARCELINE yanks the SHOVEL away from JACK. She looks very upset)_

JACK

But…it's a great thing to be undead—

MARCELINE

No, it's not. We're freaks. We're monsters. She doesn't deserve to be like us. Look at me, Jack. I'm psycho. A loon. Crazy. Don't you get it? The last thing a psycho like you needs is _another_ psycho. Please. Don't bury anyone else...

JACK

(Hurt)

My queen, surely you jest…

MARCELINE

No! I'm not a queen. I'm nobody's queen. I'm just…Marceline…

 _(MARCELINE storms off. JACK looks dejected, holding the SHOVEL. He watches as she leaves)_

MANDY

(Calling from the GRAVE)

CAN SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE?

* * *

 _(Cut back to CAMP. ABIGAIL is training STEVEN on how to LASSO ROPE. There's a SMALL STUMP several feet away. ABIGAIL swings the ROPE around, arcing it through the air. It snags around the STUMP)_

ABIGAIL

You got the hand for it, sucker. Who knows? Maybe we got a place for you in my sector...

STEVEN

A secret agent? Me? Do you accept people with volatile belly buttons?

ABIGAIL

We accept anyone. Just not adults. They're the worst. When you grow up, you give up kind of. Y'know, you stop believing in things. But that's all right, Steve. You're still young. And I'm training you to have a long, long life ahead of you…

STEVEN

(Forced laugh)

Well, don't baby me. God. You're like a soccer Mom or something. Y'know, you could tell me things about yourself too. I feel like I know nothing about you…other than that…

ABIGAIL

I told you my biggest secret: I'm a secret agent…

STEVEN

What about your family?

ABIGAIL

No.

STEVEN

Come on, I told you everything! My Dad's pretty awesome. And...my Mom isn't around...but I talk to her sometimes. In my head. Um, Abbie, come on, you're not the adult here; we're both kids. I know you've been through a lot too. You could always tell me...

ABIGAIL

My parents aren't a big deal. And my sister ain't an issue anymore...

STEVEN

(Rolling his eyes)

Did you tie her up somewhere?

ABIGAIL

(Alarmed)

What?

STEVEN

(Laughing)

You made it sound like you hurt her. Whatever. We're not going to talk about it...

 _(There's an awkward silence. STEVEN shrugs and tries to LASSO the ROPE, trying to aim it correctly. ABIGAIL looks from side to side, very nervous. She glances at STEVEN. Then, without warning, she pounces on him. She tackles him to the ground like an interrogation)_

ABIGAIL

Who told you I tied her up?

STEVEN

What?

ABIGAIL

Answer me, Steven: who are you? Really? Who'd you talk to?

STEVEN

NOBODY!

ABIGAIL

(Realizing)

You didn't know, right? You just guessed?

STEVEN

I don't know! I mean-

ABIGAIL

Okay. I...I didn't tie her up. I mean, I _did_ but - okay, Cree – my sister – was going to be on this show—

STEVEN

Okay—

ABIGAIL

My sister. And she always - growing up – she's a bully. I don't love her. No. Not at all. And she'd do anything to crush my dreams. So I snatched hers. I tied her up, locked her in a closet so she missed the plane. I was an alternate and took her spot…

STEVEN

Well, that's not right—

ABIGAIL

She betrayed me! She's a snake! A liar! She's not even my sister anymore, okay? If you knew what happened between us, you'd get it. People change. There's no love there. It doesn't mean anything….

 _(Silence)_

STEVEN

Well...it...it makes me think twice about trusting you...

ABIGAIL

It's fine. I get it. Here, throw the lasso again. We're going to toughen up. Just like me…

 _(STEVEN stares at her questionably. ABIGAIL raises her eyebrows, urging him to throw it. STEVEN sighs and tosses it. ABIGAIL nods approvingly)_

Good shot...

* * *

 _(Cut to PANCHITO in a confessional)_

PANCHITO

After Pepe leave, I am sad rooster. All alone. So I go out, look for immunity Idol. But first...

 _(Cut to CAMP. SLAPPY is huddled up in the IGLOO, trying to keep warm. PANCHITO pokes his head in. He has a big smile on his face)_

PANCHITO

 _HOLA PRINCIPESSA!_

SLAPPY

You can talk after all. I thought you'd given up with these people—

PANCHITO

My lady, do not doubt my chivalry. I strike - how you say - proposition with you? We both go out. Search for Idol. You like...?

SLAPPY

 _(Rubbing her face)_

Yeah. Give me a second. I've got to fix my plastic surgery...

 _(Cut to PANCHITO in a confessional)_

PANCHITO

I bring Slappy with me. It is important, I think, for we are _both_ on bottom. I strike up conversation. I laugh. I joke. Even if she no like me very much…

 _(Cut to SLAPPY and PANCHITO walking out in the TUNDRA. SLAPPY is storming ahead, leaving him behind. PANCHITO struggles to catch up)_

SLAPPY

So...if one of us finds it first, the other doesn't get it?

PANCHITO

I will _slow_ my speed. Not run fast. Match pace of old lady. Make it fair, yes?

SLAPPY

I'd leave you in the dust, buddy...

 _(Cut to several minutes later. They now stand in front of an ICY, STONE WALL. SLAPPY is searching under ROCKS, scavenging around, looking for the IDOL. PANCHITO glances up at the top of the WALL. He looks curious)_

PANCHITO

Can you give me a boost? I need to see over the ridge—

SLAPPY

Yeah, yeah….

(She lifts PANCHITO up on her shoulders)

You know, I don't get the animosity I get around here. Goddamned sunshine-and-rainbows, everyone-deserves-a-medal generation. I wasn't too hard on any of those kids. Right?

 _(On top of the wall, PANCHITO seems to notice something. He squints his eyes, trying to get closer)_

PANCHITO

Move to the side...

SLAPPY

(Shifting to the side)

I'm nice. Really nice. I mean, I wouldn't do anything crazy...like donate an organ...or give to charity...but other than that, I'm all right. I'm trying to get some money together. I spent all my cash from show business on plastic surgery and men. But I've got a nephew, y'know? Parents dumped him on me. Goddamn deadbeats. So I'm just trying to support him. I mean, I haven't told anyone but...y'know, you're a nice guy, I figured why not?

 _(Cut to the top of the WALL. PANCHITO's hands search on top, very close to a WRAPPED PACKAGE – clearly, the HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL. He clasps it in his hands. SLAPPY, beneath him, is oblivious)_

PANCHITO

A little...more—

SLAPPY

Panchito, what are you doing?

 _(PANCHITO hops down from SLAPPY's shoulders. The IDOL is in his hands. He bows down to SLAPPY, kisses her hands. She's shocked)_

PANCHITO

Thank you, Senora! On behalf of the Three Caballeros, I tip my hat to you! Adios!

 _(PANCHITO takes off. SLAPPY is furious)_

SLAPPY

WHAT? Hey! I opened up my _heart_ to you! Stupid bird!

 _(Cut to PANCHITO in a confessional. He hugs the IMMUNITY IDOL)_

PANCHITO

Yes. Yes. We will have long, long journey together…

* * *

 _(Cut to the outskirts of camp. STEVEN sits in front of a LARGE, EERIE CAVE. It's very deep and the sound of BATS echo from inside. He cups his hands, praying, almost speaking to somebody)_

STEVEN

Dear Mom. I don't know if you're listening right now. Even though things are going bad, I'm on Survivor...and I'm happier than I've ever been before. There's lots of cool people. And fun challenges. I'm growing a lot. I wish you could be there to see it. It's weird how it works out here. One second, the only thing I want is something to eat. The next, the only thing is you. Being here. With me. So I have someone to sleep with at night…

 _(The camera pans into the darkness. ABIGAIL is in the CAVE digging under ROCKS. Clearly, she's looking for the IMMUNITY IDOL. She stops when she hears STEVEN's voice. She ducks behind a BOULDER, trying to be unseen)_

STEVEN

There's a girl here named Abigail. I used to look up to her…like she was stronger than me. But she wasn't. She did something bad. And I feel worse that I _can't_ feel bad for her. Anyway, I know you're watching over all of us. If you're listening...please, give me a sign...

 _(ABIGAIL bites her nails. Then she sighs and raises her voice, speaking out loud. It comes out as a muffled echo from inside the CAVE)_

ABIGAIL

It's okay…

STEVEN

Mom?

ABIGAIL

It's okay. Because...you're all going to get out of this. Everything's going to be fine…

 _(STEVEN glances around, frightened, not sure what to think. He stands up, glancing into the CAVE. Then he shakes his head and runs off. ABIGAIL emerges from the CAVE. She seems disgusted with herself)_

ABIGAIL

What am I doing?

(MANDY steps out from the TREELINE. She glares at ABIGAIL, who notices)

ABIGAIL

What do you want?

MANDY

He believed that, y'know. That you were his Mom...

ABIGAIL

Are you going to tell him?

 _(MANDY says nothing. She gives ABIGAIL a death stare. Then, very weakly, she shakes her head. She sighs and walks off looking upset with herself)_

ABIGAIL

Cool. Keep it cool...

* * *

 _(Cut to the CHALLENGE the following morning. Aerial shot of a FROZEN POND. There are two BASKETBALL HOOPS – one red, one green – set up at either side. The HOST stands on his usual mat, waiting for everyone to enter. The DAKOTA TRIBE – PANCHITO, SLAPPY, STEVEN, MANDY, ABIGAIL, MARCELINE, and JACK – trails in first. They take their spot on the RED MAT._

 _The SHOSHONE TRIBE – SHIFTY, FLUTTERSHY, BRIAN, CLEO, WILT, and CHESHIRE CAT – trails in from behind the TREELINE)_

HOST

Come on in, guys! Dakota, getting your first look at the new Shoshone Tribe. Joy...voted out last night at Tribal Council. All right, you guys ready to get to today's immunity challenge? First, let's bring in Clyde, returning from Exile Island…

(CLYDE steps out from the TREELINE, his KNAPSACK in toe. He looks famished, cold, and he's lost some weight. He gives his TRIBE a death stare and crosses to the SHOSHONE MAT. Then he pauses)

CLYDE

Wait, one second, I forgot something at the helicopter…

(CLYDE walks off-screen, vanishing on the left side. Out of nowhere, he reappears again on the right side. Everyone looks around, bewildered)

FLUTTERSHY

How did he do that?

CLYDE

Ghost-trick…

HOST

Here's how it's going to work. Two members of your team will be tasked with shooting a ball into a net. Five others will sit on the side of the ice, throwing hockey pucks out at the opposing tribe. If you hit them, they're frozen for ten seconds. Whoever makes three baskets first wins. Guaranteed safety tonight. The losers? Nothing but a date with me at Tribal Council. How are you going to divide up your team?

WILT

(Stomping on the ground)

Me! Me! I'm so mad! I'm going to sink, like...a billion basketballs! _Gah!_

SHIFTY

(Nudging CLEO)

Yeah, and I'll shoot baskets too. Y'know, keep the cheerleaders on the side where they belong…

CLEO

Every day, your face begs me more and more to punch it…

HOST

Dakota, how about you?

MARCELINE

Okay Jack, this is called _basketball._ Balls go in hoop…

JACK

Like organs in jars…

MARCELINE

Something like that…

HOST

Jack and Marceline shooting for Dakota. All right, let's get this show on the road…

* * *

 _(Cut to several minutes later. WILT and SHIFTY stand on the ICE facing MARCELINE and JACK. Everyone else stands on either side with a BAG of HOCKEY PUCKS. The HOST stands on the side, ready to get started. He holds a BASKETBALL)_

HOST

Survivors ready? Go—

(The HOST tosses the BASKETBALL into the air. WILT grabs it immediately. He shows it off in MARCELINE's face, taunting her)

WILT

(Very forced)

You want the ball, huh? Huh? Well, what if I…what if this is misdirection…and I throw the ball to Shifty? Wow! You've been insulted—

SHIFTY

Wilt, what the hell are you doing?

WILT

Trash-talking. I'm getting used to it…

(WILT passes the BALL to SHIFTY. SHIFTY dashes down the COURT. He jumps over a medley of HOCKEY PUCKS shot by the DAKOTA TRIBE. Then he ends up cornered by MARCELINE. She taunts him, flirtatious, backing him into a corner)

MARCELINE

What's wrong? Smug-faced little creep? You going to hit a girl?

(SHIFTY feints moving to the side. He dodges MARCELINE and tosses the BALL into the air. It soars down through the NET, scoring a point)

HOST

Shifty scores for Shoshone! We're going to need a little more action with those hockey pucks!

CLEO

(Annoyed)

Guys, don't aim. Just throw them blindly. It's too slippery. You're wasting time by aiming…

HOST

Cleo, emerging as a leader of her tribe. A very different situation than a few days ago….

(The camera shifts to the DAKOTA side of the ICE. It's an unwarranted disaster. ABIGAIL and MANDY are fighting over HOCKEY PUCKS. SLAPPY and PANCHITO are too frustrated to intervene. STEVEN struggles to get in the middle)

ABIGAIL

You're missing every shot!

MANDY

Wilt is like eight feet tall! His legs move too fast! Idiot!

STEVEN

Peace! Please! _Friendship!_

HOST

Steven, caught in the middle between two arguing girls. That's the life. Dakota is not in a good place to succeed in this challenge…

 _(The camera shifts to the SHOSHONE side. CHESHIRE CAT glances over at the DAKOTAS, particularly at ABIGAIL. Suddenly, his hair stands up. His eyes dilate again, looking frantic. He turns to FLUTTERSHY)_

CHESHIRE CAT

Fluttershy, who's that girl over there? With the braids?

FLUTTERSHY

That's Abigail. I think….

CHESHIRE CAT

(Forced laugh)

Something strange…

FLUTTERSHY

What's wrong, Ches?

CHESHIRE CAT

My head. Like before. I feel something. Her….thoughts. But worse than Shifty's…

FLUTTERSHY

Wait, can you feel her thoughts?

CHESHIRE

(Panicked)

Yes. And they're bad. They're _very_ bad. Excuse me, I...I need to relax for a moment…

(The camera shifts back to the ICE. WILT and JACK are in the middle of a squabble. WILT holds the BASKET high above JACK's head. JACK shakes his arms, trying to reach)

WILT

Who's nice now? Huh? Huh? Who's the nice guy now?

(WILT chucks the BASKETBALL over JACK's head. It goes flying and sails through the NET)

HOST

Wilt makes an effortless basket! This could be a total wash-out!

WILT

Do you hear me, Survivor? I am Wilt! Sinker of basketballs! Player of games! Imaginary googly thing! I do not…take….crap! From anyone!

CLYDE

(Bewildered)

What's going on with him?

CLEO

God, we pushed him to his breaking point. I think he's losing it…

(The camera pans over to CHESHIRE CAT. He's on the verge of having another episode. His eyes twitch back and forth. FLUTTERSHY kneels beside him, struggling to calm him down)

FLUTTERSHY

Ches, calm down. Please…

(The camera shifts back to the ICE. WILT is possession of the BALL again. MARCELINE and JACK are useless, unable to match his height advantage. SHIFTY chuckles and claps WILT on the back)

HOST

Wilt now goes for his third basket…

SHIFTY

Atta boy! Just like I raised you! Come on, sink that shot. Shut them all down for how they treated you…

 _(WILT gives a weird scream and goes running down the ICE. Everyone is shocked, even SHIFTY. He raises his arms, ready to make the final point for his tribe._

 _Suddenly, there's a cracking sound beneath him. Ice splinters beneath WILT's feet. His SNEAKER vanishes first, slipping down into the cold water below. Then his whole leg goes, vanishing as well. More ICE cracks, forming an even larger hole. Within seconds, WILT has vanished completely)_

HOST

MEDICAL! MEDICAL! EMERGENCY!

 _(The camera pans over to CHESHIRE CAT. He's staring at the ICE, eyes enlarged. His eyes shift back to normal. He starts breathing hard. Then he turns to FLUTTERSHY, panicked)_

CHESHIRE CAT

Oh no. I…I did it…

FLUTTERSHY

 _What?_

CHESHIRE CAT

With my shadow powers! I couldn't help it! I…I cracked the ice…

 _(The MEDICAL TEAM runs out onto the scene. The TWO TRIBES congregate around the HOLE, trying to give them space. WILT has emerged from the water, rock-solid, his teeth chattering. The MEDICAL TEAM proceeds to drag him out, holding him out on the ICE. They drape a BLANKET over him. WILT closes his eyes, losing consciousness)_

CLEO

Oh my God, oh my God! Don't just stand there! Fire! Get fire! Somebody rub sticks together!

HOST

Wilt, can you hear me, buddy? Hey, what's going on?

WILT

(Muttering)

Cold….

 _(The MEDICAL TEAM straps a SPHYGMOMANOMETER to WILT's ARM. They read his BLOOD PRESSURE as it shows up on the MACHINE. All around, everyone is terrified. CLYDE has kneeled down, holding WILT's arm, trying to keep him conscious. SHIFTY has pulled his HAT down over his face, unwilling to show his eyes. Everyone else stands nearby hoping for the best)_

HOST

Medical, fill us in. Where's Wilt at right now?

MEDIC

He's gone into hypothermic shock after falling into the water. The best we can do is get him warmed up as soon as possible. By any means necessary. He needs immediate care…

HOST

All right, you heard him! Call in a chopper! Stat! This challenge is over!

FLUTTERSHY

 _(Tearing up)_

Wilt, can you hear me? Wilt, come on, talk…

BRIAN

He's rock-solid right now. He's freezing…

HOST

So what does this say about Wilt's status in the game?

MEDIC

His blood pressure's dropping. He's delirious. In better conditions, we could get him warmed up and take him back to camp. But out here, even after treatment, being in such harsh conditions could act as a catalyst. So the best option, at this point...would be to pull Wilt from the game…

WILT

Please…don't…

HOST

Wilt, stay with me, buddy? How are you feeling?

WILT

I don't give up on anything. I never give up. Please. I was ready to do so well…

HOST

Well buddy, this is going to have to be a first. You came into a game that was way over your head. You pushed yourself. To impossible limits. But now it's time to get you home. Shoshone, take a second to say goodbye…

SHIFTY

Goodbye Walt…

FLUTTERSHY

His name is _Wilt,_ Shifty.

SHIFTY

What she said….

CLEO

(Kneeling down)

Wilt, I was wrong. I was sorry. You don't suck at basketball. So here, as a souvenir, take this. Now whenever you shoot a basket, you can think of me. Cleo. Your best friend…

 _(CLEO hands WILT the BASKETBALL. He moans out-loud, appalled with her existence. CLEO takes this as approval. She gives him a THUMBS-UP)_

BRIAN

Stay golden, man. Don't take crap from anyone…

 _(The MEDICAL TEAM places WILT on a STRETCHER. They start to carry him off. The SHOSHONE TRIBE watches, sad, dejected. FLUTTERSHY is crying, hugging CHESHIRE CAT. CLEO cries as well. SHIFTY stands arms folded, unmoved, more disappointed than anything. BRIAN looks very upset, but he's trying not to show it._

 _CLYDE sighs and picks up the BASKETBALL from the ground. He arcs a shot up into the air and makes a BASKET)_

CLYDE

That's for Wilt. Come on, let's blow this joint…

FLUTTERSHY

(Whispering to CHESHIRE CAT)

Ches, did you really break the ice by accident?

CHESHIRE CAT

You're…you're not going to tell anyone, right?

 _(Cut to a few minutes later. BOTH TRIBES are gathered on opposite sides of the ICE. Everyone has calmed down a bit but they're still very unsettled)_

HOST

Well, let's take inventory. How's everyone feeling? A little shaken up? Clyde, what's it like losing a tribe member?

CLYDE

Well, y'know, we lost one of our own, man. We're feeling it. I care about these people. Y'know, I don't look it, but I'm a sensitive guy. I'm an _angry,_ orange blob. And I ain't quittin' lyin' down…

HOST

Well, the good news for all of you is that this challenge has been called off. There will be no Tribal Council tonight and all of you will be given some well-deserved rest. Head back to camp. Take some time to decompress…

 _(Cut to SHIFTY smiling in a confessional)_

SHIFTY

two-for-one, y'know? Special sale. Like when you hawk a subway card with some credit left on it. I don't have to go to Council, and to top it all off, we get rid of the most athletic person in the game. I'll tell you kids: everything's coming up Shifty…


	8. Tactic and Manuever, Part I

_(Cut to the SHOSHONE CAMP. Everyone is huddled around the FIRE trying to keep warm, bundled up their PARKAS. There's a mist of frost that breezes through the area. Everyone shivers, moving closer to the fire)_

CLEO

Well, look on the bright side, guys!

FLUTTERSHY

What _bright_ side?

CLEO

You still have me!

 _(Cut to CLEO in a confessional)_

CLEO

It's sad that Wilt went smush into the pond. He was, like, super cool and stuff. But I'm the glue holding our tribe together right now….

 _(Cut to the following morning. SHIFTY, CLEO, BRIAN, FLUTTERSHY, CHESHIRE CAT, and CLYDE are gathered around WILT's old BASKETBALL COURT. CLEO holds a DEAD FISH like a PEACE OFFERING)_

CLEO

Here lies Wilt's basketball court. Wilt was a kind soul. Um, he liked sports. Bye, bye now.

 _(She tosses the DEAD FISH onto the COURT. Everyone stares at it)_

Okay people, no frowning. We have to get up tomorrow and do calisthenics….

* * *

 _(Cut to a little while later. CLYDE and FLUTTERSHY stand together outside the IGLOO. Nobody else is around)_

CLYDE

Now who died and made _her_ the princess around this joint?

FLUTTERSHY

 _Joy_ did. I mean...Joy got voted out last night. Then Cleo took control of our tribe. And everyone's bending over backwards to appease her. I _hate_ it, Clyde. I hate it. You're tough; you're a leader. Please. Can't you knock her down a peg?

CLYDE

Well listen, I don't do no charity service here, all right? Twenty dollars...

FLUTTERSHY

What?

CLYDE

Yeah, yeah, it's business, see? You want me to work for you; you got to pay up...

 _(FLUTTERSHY grumbles and reaches into her PARKA. She pulls out a WALLET)_

FLUTTERSHY

Fine. You're lucky they didn't take my wallet...

CLYDE

 _(Pocketing the MONEY)_

Okay, I'll take care of the broad...

FLUTTERSHY

How?

CLYDE

I'm smooth with the ladies….

(Cut to FLUTTERSHY in a confessional)

FLUTTERSHY

I just lost twenty dollars...

 _(Cut back to the scene. CLYDE walks away his chest out. FLUTTERSHY watches in dismay. She leans back against the SHELTER. CHESHIRE CAT rushes over. he hugs her out of nowhere, bundling her up tight. She brushes him off in annoyance)_

 _CHESHIRE CAT_

Pony-friend! No words about ice, yes-yes? Stepped on a crack, broke Wilt's back? You won't tell anyone?

FLUTTERSHY

Yes, Ches. I won't. But please, be careful from now on.

 _(CHESHIRE CAT nods and scampers off. A moment's pause. SHIFTY pokes his head out, smiling at FLUTTERSHY. He chews on a piece of FISH)_

SHIFTY

Well, look at that. What happened to the jivin', connivin' pony over here? Whadya say, Fluttershy? Work with me again? Be my angel?

FLUTTERSHY

(Awkward)

You'rescared of me. I know it…

SHIFTY

(After a moment)

Well, come to think of it...lookin' scared ain't a bad idea…

 _(Cut to SHIFTY in a confessional)_

SHIFTY

I'm a con man, y'know. I've put on accents, costumes, whatever. So I figured, hey, y'know, maybe I'm being too rough around the edges around here. If I act like myself...they're going to see me as a _threat._ If they think I'm losing it, maybe I can undersell myself here….

* * *

 _(Cut to the edge of CAMP. CLEO stands near the WOODS gathering FIREWOOD. CLYDE walks over trying to look tough. He waves and catches her attention)_

CLYDE

Hey! What do you think you are, taking my spot like that? I'm the leader!

CLEO

I helped save you...

CLYDE

Well, yeah, but then you took over the tribe. That's not going to fly. And what about Shifty? How the hell didn't _he_ take over when I was gone?

 _(The camera pans over. SHIFTY now wears JOY's old DRESS she's left behind. He smiles and carries a HOT TEA KETTLE like an airline stewardess)_

SHIFTY

(Sweetly)

Clyde-friend! Would you like some tea?

CLYDE

What?

SHIFTY

I'm on tea duty, you see. Fluttershy told me to be nice. And I don't want to go against her now, would I? I mean, I'm in her debt now after all of this….

(SHIFTY pours himself a CUP. He winks and walks off chuckling with the TEA KETTLE. CLYDE is astounded)

CLYDE

What the hell happened to you people?

(The camera pans over to the CAMPFIRE. CHESHIRE CAT twirls in circles. He still has the HAIR CLIP from the last night clipped to his ear)

CHESHIRE CAT

(Cooing)

I'm beautiful. Strutting down the runway, all the way from the forests of Wonderland, _Cheshire Marcus Caaaaaaat!_

 _(BRIAN ambles in completely drunk. He holds a half-empty bottle of VODKA in his hand. He collapses down next to the FIRE on a LOG. CHESHIRE CAT laughs at him)_

BRIAN

Stole some vodka from production! HOW ABOUT THAT, YOU *****?

 _(He pours out some VODKA on the GROUND)_

HERE'S TO WILT, PEOPLE! DRINK UP!

 _(SHIFTY crosses over. He makes a grab for the BOTTLE. Annoyed, BRIAN pulls it away from him)_

SHIFTY

Hey, hey, let me have some, you damn dog!

(He composes himself. He straightens his DRESS)

I mean...may I...please have some vodka… _Brian?_

 _(BRIAN and SHIFTY fight over the BOTTLE. CHESHIRE CAT sits on the side, giggling, playing with the HAIR CLIP. The camera shifts back to CLYDE. He's appalled. He looks at CLEO, clueless. She smiles back at him)_

CLYDE

What happened to this tribe? What did you do to it?

CLEO

Shoshone is mine…

 _(Cut to CLYDE in a confessional)_

CLYDE

Yeah, so the poodle took over. They stuck me in the middle. I'm between Cleo, Brian, and Shifty and then Fluttershy and the psycho cat. I could work my charm on the poodle, y'know, get her vibing with me. But I'm tired of her. I think Cleo needs a good kick in the tush...

* * *

 _(Cut to STEVEN in a confessional. He's very emotional)_

STEVEN

My Mom's here! I mean, like, I don't know if she's in my head or not! Maybe it's a new part of my powers or something, but when I stand by that cave in the woods, I can talk to her now. She gives me advice for the game. I just have to bring her food…

 _(Cut to STEVEN walking up to the CAVE from before. He holds a PIECE of FISH. He lays it down on a PAPER CLOTH in the entrance)_

STEVEN

Mom, I got you more fish from the lake…

ABIGAIL

 _(Echoing out from the CAVE)_

Okay, Steven. Just leave it in the cave….

 _(STEVEN nods and dashes off, excited. MANDY steps out from behind the TREES. She glares and storms into the CAVE. She reaches into her BAG, pulling out a FLASHLIGHT. She flicks it. She catches ABIGAIL crawling out. ABIGAIL picks up the FISH at the ENTRANCE, shielding the light from her eyes)_

MANDY

Abigail, you have to be kidding me…

ABIGAIL

Here, Mandy, here. We'll split the protein. You get a cut of the fish if you don't tell anyone, all right?

MANDY

You're pretending to be his Mom? In exchange for more _food?_

ABIGAIL

This is a game. I'm taking opportunities. I need to do whatever I can to survive. He's too naïve for his own good. You've seen Steven. Let's work around this. Maybe you don't _have_ to go next…

MANDY

I could tell somebody about this, Abbie…

ABIGAIL

Who are they going to believe? You or me?

(Cut to ABIGAIL in a confessional)

ABIGAIL

I'm pretending to be Steven's Mom or whatever. Trained in my sector on how to throw my voice. Yeah, he's pretty stupid, but I have to trick him for my benefit. Outside of the game, he's a nice kid. But here, he knows what I did to my sister to get on this show. What I'm capable of. I've got to use Steven to my advantage…

 _(Cut back to the scene. STEVEN rushes up. ABIGAIL bolts it into the WOODS. STEVEN turns to MANDY instead)_

STEVEN

Mandy, Mandy, the greatest thing happened! It's my Mom! I can hear her! I don't know how, but look, stand here—

MANDY

Oh, yeah. Steven. Um, yeah, I'll wait...

STEVEN

Well, stick around! Maybe my Mom will come back!

 _(ABIGAIL pokes her head out from the TREELINE. She stares at MANDY, sizing her up, taunting her. MANDY seems to want to say something. She glances at STEVEN, looking at his smiling, happy face. She bites her lip)_

MANDY

(Sad)

Maybe she will…

* * *

 _(Cut to the following morning. MARCELINE looks very upset about something. JACK is showing her something in a SMALL CARDBOARD BOX. The camera pans over to reveal it's full of large SPIDERS)_

MARCELINE

Honestly, I just can't take this-

JACK

Why, they're simply Black Widows. Gorgeous specimens really. Here, do you want to see them mate?

MARCELINE

No, Jack! You have to stop…stop spending _time_ with me! Okay? I don't think I can take it anymore...

JACK

Yesterday, I said I was willing to be your friend-

MARCELINE

No, I do. You're my friend. Or, like—

JACK

Well, why are you crying?

MARCELINE

I've never _had_ a friend before! I don't know how! I've never had anyone who, like, showed me spiders, and blew up possums with me, and I don't know, jumped off a freaking cliff and broke all their bones to express their loyalty!

JACK

Well, I'll take my spiders elsewhere—

MARCELINE

No, please, stay—

JACK

Make up your mind! One minute you want me here; the next minute you don't! I mean, if you only wanted to be my friend to vote me out—

MARCELINE

I've never had a _friend._

JACK

 _(After a moment_ )

I mean...if you wanted to vote me out to feel better—

MARCELINE

What?

JACK

Really, if I'm driving you crazy-

MARCELINE

Would you hold that against me?

JACK

There's other things to do with my afterlife…

MARCELINE

Like maybe...get back with your girlfriend?

JACK

 _(A little annoyed)_

Um, could I have Sally's index finger back?

 _(MARCELINE nods quickly. She reaches into her KNAPSACK and pulls out SALLY's ZOMBIFIED FINGER from before. She gives it back to JACK)_

MARCELINE

I'm sorry...

JACK

It's fine. If you need me gone...I'll leave next. I won't be a nuisance...

MARCELINE

But-

JACK

I don't want excuses. I just want to make you happy.…

* * *

 _(Cut to the challenge later that morning. The camera pans in on an AERIEL SHOT of a LARGE CLEARING. There is a thin, long BALANCE BEAM set up stretching through the snow. It raises up about five feet. The HOST stands on his usual MAT smiling. The SHOSHONE TRIBE – CLYDE, FLUTTERSHY, BRIAN, SHIFTY, CLEO, and CHESHIRE CAT – stand on the GREEN MAT. The DAKOTA TRIBE – MARCELINE, JACK, ABIGAIL, STEVEN, MANDY, SLAPPY, and PANCHITO – stand on the RED MAT)_

 _HOST_

You guys ready to get to today's immunity challenge? Okay, here's how it's going to work. In any order you choose, your tribe will be standing up on that balance beam. You must traverse your way to the other end, working your way around your tribe members, all without falling off. First tribe to get their entire team across wins immunity, safe from being voted out. The losers? Nothing but a date at Tribal Council...where the _fourth_ person in this game will be voted out. Dakota, because of unfortunate recent events, you have one extra member. Who will be sitting out?

ABIGAIL

Um, Steven. No offense. We just have to make the best decision…

STEVEN

(Brightly)

No, that's fine! Whatever's best!

 _(MANDY glares at ABIGAIL. She looks away and doesn't say anything. STEVEN waves at everyone and goes to sit down)_

HOST

Shoshone, you've had some tough luck here. A medical evacuation and a Tribal in three days. And wait, why is Shifty wearing a dress?

SHIFTY

It's strategic. Changed my gender. Girls are easier to get around…

HOST

Then let's get started…

* * *

 _(Cut to the CHALLENGE. On opposite sides of the BALANCE BEAM, the TRIBES stand waiting. On one side, FLUTTERSHY, SHIFTY, BRIAN, CLEO, CLYDE, and CHESHIRE CAT stand side-by-side. On the other side, MANDY, PANCHITO, SLAPPY, JACK, ABIGAIL, and MARCELINE stand in a line)_

HOST

Survivors ready? Go…

 _(The camera shifts to the SHOSHONE SIDE. CHESHIRE CAT giggles and moves around CLYDE with ease. He contorts himself like an acrobat, scarcely even touching the OTHERS)_

CHESHIRE CAT

 _(Singing)_

 _"Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother's house we goooo…."_

HOST

Cheshire Cat! Easily maneuvering his way around his tribe! Dakota, on the other hand, having some early difficulty…

 _(The camera pans to the DAKOTA SIDE. MARCELINE is taller than most of the OTHERS and struggling immediately. She tries to shimmy her way around ABIGAIL but it's already difficult. ABIGAIL stands up on her tiptoes, cringing, trying to let MARCELINE past)_

ABIGAIL

 _(Muttering)_

 _"Snow ain't cool; snow ain't cool…"_

MARCELINE

Abigail, I swear, if you move, I'm going to write a really angsty song about you and put it on the internet…

 _(MARCELINE sidesteps her way around MARCELINE. In the process, ABIGAIL almost falls. She waves her hands, catching herself. She steadies her balance and nods. MARCELINE presses onward, trying to make her way around JACK. She looks uncomfortable)_

 _JACK_

 _(Brightly)_

It's okay! I won't make eye contact with you!

HOST

Dakota, moving much too slowly! Shoshone is taking an early lead in this challenge…

 _(The camera shifts to the SHOSHONE SIDE. CHESHIRE CAT has safely reached the finish line. CLYDE starts to sidestep his way around CLEO. He mutters under his breath, swearing, resisting the urge to shove her)_

CLEO

Come on, guys! Teamwork! Like Joy taught us!

FLUTTERSHY

You voted Joy out!

MARCELINE

 _(Trying to ignore JACK)_

Jack, please, don't look at me. It makes me uncomfortable…

JACK

But I don't have eyes….

 _(MARCELINE stumbles. She grips JACK's hand. They tumble down into the SNOW together. The DAKOTA TRIBE groans, annoyed)_

ABIGAIL

All right, well, get up, ya'll! None of that lolly-gagging! We got a challenge here!

 _(The camera shifts to the SHOSHONE SIDE. They're making even faster progress. CLYDE, short in stature, has traversed his way to the end. CLEO begins to make her way now. She's surprisingly limber, maneuvering herself very carefully)_

HOST

Marceline, single-handedly losing the challenge for Dakota! Can't seem to get around Jack without falling over!

 _(A time lapse ensues. The SHOSHONE TRIBE is seen making their way to the finish line. Shots of FLUTTERSHY working her way around SHIFTY. Shots of SHIFTY making his way around BRIAN, limber, precise, even with JOY'S dress trailing behind him…._

 _The camera shifts back to the DAKOTAS. They've made progress – as MARCELINE, JACK, and SLAPPY are now at the end – but MARCELINE wasted too much time earlier. MANDY and ABIGAIL are bickering, holding each other's hands, trying to steady themselves. MANDY tugs on ABIGAIL's braid, trying to stay up)_

ABIGAIL

Hey, don't be pullin' my hair! You can touch a lot of things, but you can't touch the hair—

MANDY

Who says? Steven's mother?

STEVEN

(Calling from the sidelines)

GO DAKOTA! YOU CAN DO IT!

 _(MANDY tugs ABIGAIL's hair too hard. They fall together, tumbling into the snow. Everyone else groans, exasperated. On the SHOSHONE SIDE, BRIAN, their last member, safely reaches the finish. They start to applaud. Despite their differences, BRIAN swings his arms and pull them into a hug. They jump up and down on the PLATFORM)_

HOST

SHOSHONE! WINS IMMUNITY!

BRIAN

Okay, on the count of three, for Wilt—

FLUTTERSHY, BRIAN, SHIFTY, CHESHIRE CAT, CLEO, & CLYDE

SHO-SHON-EEE! SHO-SHON-EE!

BRIAN

THAT'S HOW WE DO IT! YOU HEAR THAT, WORLD? GET ****!

FLUTTERSHY

Brian, this is a family show…

BRIAN

I'm not a family guy…

* * *

 _(Cut to a few minutes later. The DAKOTAS stand on their MAT. They applaud reluctantly as SHIFTY walks over to accept the IMMUNITY IDOL. He struts in his dress jokingly and raises the IDOL up in the air)_

HOST

Shoshone, safe at Tribal Council. Dakota, got nothing by a date tonight at Tribal Council. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp…


	9. Tactic and Manuever, Part 2

_(Cut to ABIGAIL in a confessional. She looks very nervous)_

 _ABIGAIL_

Breathing. That's what I tell myself. Deep breathing. Hell, I'm not scared...

 _(Cut to the center of camp. Everyone is mulling around, doing work, keeping the FIRE going, collecting BUCKETS of water or piles of FISH. PANCHITO and STEVEN feed twigs into the FIRE._ _SLAPPY kneels by the IGLOO packing SNOW onto it, making sure the SUNLIGHT doesn't melt it._

 _ABIGAIL stands in the center. She dictates everyone, clapping her hands)_

ABIGAIL

Clean the fish! Get the water! What does this look like, a Girl Scout camp? Move out, people!

( _The camera pans over to the side. JACK is packing up his KNAPSACK. MARCELINE kneels on a LOG beside him looking upset)_

MARCELINE

Look at you, got your bags all packed. Ready to be voted out, Jacky-Jack?

JACK

 _(Bowing)_

Ready as ever, my humble Queen!

 _(Cut to MARCELINE in a confessional)_

MARCELINE

I have an angel and a devil on my shoulder. I mean, on one hand, what I'm doing is fundamentally selfish. I don't like Jack being close to me. It's messing up my game and he was willing - God bless his deranged soul - to step down so I could play comfortably. But I mean...then there's the matter of actually voting him out...

 _(Cut back to camp. A little while later. ABIGAIL continues to walk around, monitoring the tribe. MARCELINE steps out of the TREELINE with JACK. She holds a bunch of FISH tied to a LINE)_

MARCELINE

Here Abs, got the fishes-

ABIGAIL

Marcey, did you even clean this? C'mon, you can contract diseases-

MARCELINE

 _(Trying to smile)_

Are you bossing me around?

ABIGAIL

Yes! I have to! Ya'll are incompetent!

JACK

Well, I won't be having fish. I'm going to be voted out tonight.

MARCELINE

 _Jack! Not yet-_

ABIGAIL

Look, I'm just trying to set some group unity here, guys. Just because we're going to Council, we're still Dakota. We've got to keep things up and running here, y'know?

MARCELINE

Yeah.

 _(Pause)_

Hey, Abbie.

ABIGAIL

What?

MARCELINE

You kind of suck...

 _(ABIGAIL rolls her eyes and walks off. MARCELINE glances over at JACK. He offers her a weak smile and walks back to packing his KNAPSACK. MARCELINE watches him. Something changes in her. She grits her teeth. She glances back at ABIGAIL looking blood-thirsty)_

 _(Cut to JACK in a confessional)_

JACK

I had no reason to be on this show! Now that I've cleared my head a little, I'll return to Halloweentown and reunite with Sally, my one and only love! Yes! We'll go strolling in the pumpkin patch! Yes, yes, yes! What could possibly go wrong tonight?

 _(There's a boom of thunder in the distance. JACK smiles absently at the camera)_

* * *

 _(Cut to MANDY in a confessional)_

MANDY

So at the challenge, I started pulling at Abigail's hair and stuff. I mean, we're literally at each other's throats here. I always thought I'd be _above_ that. I thought I'd grow up to be a judge. Or president. Or at least a dictator. But now, I'm stooping to catty drama with this stupid girl. And now with what she's doing Steven, pretending to be his Mom, and me just being silent about it here...I don't know, I don't know who I am anymore...

 _(Cut to the outskirts of camp. The CAVE is nearby. MANDY wanders through the WOODS, gathering STICKS together for FIREWOOD. She looks very disgruntled. SLAPPY trails along beside her)_

SLAPPY

Eh, there's something bugging you. More than usual. What is it?

MANDY

Do me a favor. I'm going to go check by the ridge for more firewood. If Steven goes toward the cave..tell him to go _back_ to camp. I...I don't want those people to find the Idol...

 _(MANDY shakes her head and walks off into the WOODS)_

SLAPPY

But hey, wait, Panchito has the-

 _(MANDY vanishes)_

Damn kid! Five-second attention spans! Well, I'll be here!

 _(STEVEN wanders out from behind a TREE. He holds a HANDFUL of FISH he caught from the LAKE. SLAPPY ducks behind a TREE, cautious, seeing something is off)_

STEVEN

Mom, Mom, I have more fish!

ABIGAIL

 _(Calling from the CAVE)_

Yeah, uh, here...Steven. Over here….

SLAPPY

The hell is this?

 _(SLAPPY glances suspiciously. She creeps forward, vanishing behind a ROCK. Then she ducks into the CAVE. STEVEN doesn't notice. SLAPPY climbs over a CREVASSE and sees ABIGAIL ducked behind a BOULDER. Her hands are cupped around her mouth, distorting her voice with an echo._

 _SLAPPY scowls at her. She glances up at the ceiling of the CAVE. She sees a bunch of STALAGMITES hanging. Glaring at ABIGAIL, SLAPPY picks up a ROCK. She throws it up and down in her palm. Then she chucks it hard. It crashes into the STALAGMITES. The CAVE starts to shake)_

 _ABIGAIL_

 _(Noticing)_

 _Crap..._

 _(SLAPPY dashes out of the way. She vanishes the way she came. ABIGAIL hurries out, sprinting. The ROCKS and CRYSTALS come down hard, burying the entrance of the CAVE. He is shocked. He looks out at the ROCKSLIDE, bewildered)_

STEVEN

Uh, Mom? Mom? Are you still there?

SLAPPY

(Chuckling)

Now that's comedy….

 _(SLAPPY ducks behind a TREE. /She dashes off. ABIGAIL emerges from the RUBBLE. Her arms and legs are scraped up. She waves awkwardly at STEVEN, unsure how to approach him. STEVEN scowls at her, unsure of what to think)_

STEVEN

Abbie...what happened?

ABIGAIL

Well, uh, maybe she had to go. To run errands. In heaven...

* * *

 _(Cut to the center of CAMP. STEVEN and ABIGAIL sit together on the LOGS. STEVEN throws TWIGS into the FIRE. ABIGAIL tries not to look at him)_

ABIGAIL

Well, maybe it's good she disappeared, Steven. Now you can be tough. Like me…

STEVEN

She might come back-

ABIGAIL

Or maybe not-

STEVEN

Well, what do you mean? What are you talking about?

ABIGAIL

Well, your Mom was holding you back. My family was too. So I forgot about them. Now you can play Survivor. Be stronger…

 _(Silence)_

STEVEN

What if I don't want to be stronger?

ABIGAIL

You don't have a choice...

 _(Pause. She looks very nervous)_

You're...you're still on board for Mandy tonight, right?

* * *

 _(Cut to ABIGAIL in a confessional)_

 _ABIGAIL_

Steven's catching on to me. But it's fine. It's fine. I'm trained in espionage, y'know. I've just got to take precautions...

 _(Cut to a little while later. ABIGAIL has gone into the TRIBE'S IGLOO. She rummages around, digging through different BAGS. She rummages into JACK's and pulls out something from the pocket. It's SALLY's INDEX FINGER. She tucks it into her PARKA and hurries out)_

 _(Cut to the center of CAMP. JACK sits on a LOG. He hums to himself, packing away CLOTHES and POSSESSIONS into his KNAPSACK. ABIGAIL crosses over. She kneels down beside him)_

ABIGAIL

Jackalicious, my boy. How's it hangin'?

JACK

 _(Rubbing her head)_

Why, packing my bags! This was all great fun while it lasted! Alas, the Pumpkin King is off to darker pastures!

ABIGAIL

You had a rough break-up, didn't you? Before the show?

JACK

How'd you know?

ABIGAIL

We've talked around camp. I mean...are you leaving the game to see her again? What's-her-name - Sally?

JACK

Of course!

ABIGAIL

But...how do you know she'll _care_ about you?

JACK

Oh, it was time off. That's all we needed.

ABIGAIL

But Jack, _really,_ you don't know—

JACK

And you don't know Sally either. In fact, you hardly even know me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to say goodbye to Marceline—

ABIGAIL

I kind of think Marcy wanted this.

 _(Silence)_

JACK

Excuse me?

ABIGAIL

She's been palling around with you, right? Well, maybe it's because she _wanted_ you to quit. From the beginning. Face it, Jack: she flat-out manipulated you into wanting to leave the game...and go back to a girl who doesn't care about you...

JACK

Well, I _do_ want to quit-

ABIGAIL

But what if it was _all_ calculated, Jack? What if Marcy wanted this?

JACK

 _(Uncomfortable)_

Well...I'd still want to leave. It would still be my choice...

ABIGAIL

Look in the fire...

 _(JACK looks into the FIRE. He kneels down, staring at something. Then he steps back, horrified. SALLY'S INDEX FINGER is charred, burned and sitting on a ROCK)_

JACK

She went into my bag?

ABIGAIL

Sally broke up with you because she was tired of being _dead_. Right? She was getting bored with you? Well, stay. Fight for her. Prove that your afterlife's worth something.

JACK

(After a moment)

I….I need a word with Marceline...

* * *

 _(Cut to the center of CAMP a little while later. ABIGAIL, PANCHITO, SLAPPY, and STEVEN are sitting together. PANCHITO has cracked open a BOTTLE of WINE. He pours it into separate GLASSES)_

SLAPPY

 _(Pouring WINE)_

Yeah, let me take a shot. I need to be drunk for this…

ABIGAIL

Well, we're both under-aged, so we're going to hold off on that. Anyway, Mandy ain't jivin' y'know? You see her, fishing by herself, pouting off on the ice. Come swap, y'know, she ain't going to be Dakota-strong. Girl's flipping on us—

PANCHITO

Yes, I presume. She is, how-you-say, very creepy. When she stares at me, she reminds me of – in Mexico, there is urban legend: Chupacabra. The goat killer. The monster lurks in the farms, devours livestock—

SLAPPY

Will you shut up?

ABIGAIL

Anyway, yeah: Mandy. I want to get rid of her. I just told Jack we're voting Marceline. They had a fight. And I don't trust him not to mess it up, so I just told him to vote Marceline...

PANCHITO

You come to me. I return loyalty. Mandy it is tonight!

SLAPPY

Why _not_ Marceline or Jack?

 _(Silence)_

ABIGAIL

What's your opinion?

SLAPPY

Marceline's sharp. She's coy. The point is that she's an actual threat. Mandy doesn't pose any risk to me at all…

STEVEN

 _(Uncomfortable)_

Well, could that be because.. _.you've_ been alienated too, and if Mandy goes home, it's like—

ABIGAIL

Steven, quiet. I'm talking here.

SLAPPY

I'm _not_ the most beloved person here. I need people to hide behind. If Mandy goes, I'll be next…

ABIGAIL

I'll protect you.

SLAPPY

No, Abigail. I don't _need_ protecting. You're missing the point here…

PANCHITO

Relax, my friend! Have a drink…

SLAPPY

Oh, quit it, Panch. Choke on that surprise in your pocket…

ABIGAIL

What'd you say?

 _(PANCHITO sputters on the WINE. He wipes his lips. He looks terrified)_

PANCHITO

Can you...excuse me for a moment?

 _(PANCHITO pulls SLAPPY aside. He drags her away from the OTHERS. She looks at him smirking)_

SLAPPY

I thought you said I could tell them about your Idol-

PANCHITO

That was before we all aligned. Look, it is in my blood. When I am approached with loyalty, I return it whole-heartedly. I must. I like Abigail. I like Steven. I want to go forward with them. When you talk about my Idol...they might decide—

SLAPPY

What? That you're a _threat?_

PANCHITO

I want them to like me…

SLAPPY

That's _your_ game. Look at mine. If you don't side me, I'll tell them about your hidden immunity Idol-

PANCHITO

I cannot...

SLAPPY

That's how blackmailing works. Don't they do it in Mexico?

PANCHITO

I play loyal, Slappy. Loyalty. I refuse to flip after promising someone. That's final...

SLAPPY

You're not the only one who's noble here...

 _(SLAPPY's face changes. She shrugs. She whistles and walks off, leaving PANCHITO shocked. She returns to ABIGAIL and STEVEN, disturbed by their secret conversation)_

SLAPPY

Sorry guys, Panch is right. I'll work with you tonight…

ABIGAIL

What did you mean by "in his pocket?"

SLAPPY

Sexual. An innuendo. You don't like my jokes?

PANCHITO

(Walking over)

YOU EMBARRASS ME!

SLAPPY

Well, see you guys later. I'm going to take a piss …

 _(SLAPPY starts to walk off)_

STEVEN

 _(Awkward)_

Hey Slappy, if the cave talks to you, can you tell me...please?

 _(Cut to SLAPPY in a confessional. Tense music starts to play)_

SLAPPY

I don't need protection. I've passed a few kidney stones. I've had a few hip replacements. But I can take care of myself. If Panch is going to pull the loyalty card with them, I've got a loaded deck…

* * *

 _(Cut to the FROZEN LAKE. MANDY and MARCELINE sit out on the ICE together. MANDY has packed her BAG completely. The SUN sets casting pink and orange light across the tundra)_

MARCELINE

Don't give up, dude. There's still time…

MANDY

Yeah, who would you send home in my place? A snowball? They're all coming after me...

MARCELINE

Yeah? Well, I think Christmas came early. How about Abbie?

(Cut to MARCELINE in a confessional)

MARCELINE

Steven and Abbie are conjoined at the hip. I know we worked together to vote out Pepe, but Abbie's pissed me off enough now. Slappy and Mandy are at the bottom of the barrel in terms of likability here. I'm going to reel in the weak links…

 _(Cut back to the scene. STEVEN walks up. He looks upset about something. MANDY tries not to look at him)_

STEVEN

Hey guys. I'm just making rounds here. Um, are you doing what Abigail told you?

MARCELINE

I'm getting the water soon...

 _(STEVEN nods and walks off. MARCELINE turns to MANDY, annoyed, waiting for an answer)_

MARCELINE

Y'know, I'm offering to save you here-

MANDY

(Nervous)

I know. I appreciate it. But do you think it has to be Abigail? I mean, out of all other people to vote out-

MARCELINE

Who else? Panchito? Come on. He's over there getting drunk…

MANDY

I just think, like...going into next round...if Abigail was blindsided, Steven would be like-

MARCELINE

 _What?_ What about Steven? What is it?

MANDY

He'd be mad, okay! I don't want that-

MARCELINE

Is that what this is about?

MANDY

What?

MARCELINE

You _like_ Steven, Mandy.

(Silence)

MANDY

I don't like anyone...

MARCELINE

Yes, you do—

MANDY

Me? How?

MARCELINE

Right now, your fear of Steven is what's keeping you from voting Abigail. Come on, just vote her out. Give her what she deserves. You're worth more than you think you are...

 _(SLAPPY enters from the TREELINE. She looks excited, ready to talk to the OTHERS. Then she sees MANDY's face, upset, conflicted. SLAPPY rolls her eyes. She storms over and intrudes on the conversation)_

SLAPPY

Is this still going on? Mandy, I'm done. Get your ass over there right now and tell Steven-

MANDY

Tell him what?

SLAPPY

The cave. What happened with Abigail. Fess up. Then come back, I have to talk to you about the vote-

MANDY

He won't listen...

SLAPPY

Well, you'll live to regret it...

* * *

 _(Cut to ABIGAIL in a confessional)_

ABIGAIL

See, I'm really glad I was able to toughen Steven up. Now that he's done thinking about his Mom, I can bring out his potential...…

 _(Cut to somewhere off in the WOODS. STEVEN and ABIGAIL have scavenged WOODEN SPEARS together. ABIGAIL watches as STEVEN angles the SPEAR, careful, aiming. He chucks it at impales it into a TREE. The TREE is covered in MARKS from other times they've thrown it)_

ABIGAIL

Best two-out-of-three. I'll be right back...

 _(ABIGAIL laughs and walks off. STEVEN doesn't smile. He walks over to the TREE and starts tugging at the SPEAR. MANDY pokes her head out from behind a TREE. She takes a breath and walks over to him)_

STEVEN

What do you want?

MANDY

Y'know, you _don't_ seem to like her. So I kind of question why you bother with her—

STEVEN

She's my friend.

MANDY

Well, what if she turned the tables eventually?

STEVEN

Like how she pretended to be my Mom?

MANDY

(Shocked)

Steven, you _know_?

STEVEN

Of course I did. I'm not stupid. I mean, I know everyone thinks I'm an idiot right now. But Abbie's my friend. She's just mixed-up. I can't swing against her—

MANDY

You have to be kidding me! She walked over your dead Mom!

STEVEN

Can you not say "dead?" Like, so bluntly like that?

MANDY

But aren't you angry?

STEVEN

But what good would it do me to swing against her? She's strong. I need her. I need to be strong too…

MANDY

You _are..._

STEVEN

Says who?

MANDY

Forget what she says. If you wanted to, you could lead this tribe with your hands tied behind your back. But you can't let other people decide for you…

STEVEN

Where's this coming from?

MANDY

 _(After a moment)_

Mandy...

 _(Cut to STEVEN in a confessional)_

STEVEN

I don't approve of what Abbie did. Like, at all. But y'know, she was always saying you have to be cutthroat and tough to win this game. That's what she did. And I just think, if I flipped on her, like...I wouldn't have a chance on my own…

* * *

 _(Cut to the outskirts of camp. The tall CLIFF, frost blowing in a white whirlwind, a swarm of fog beneath the peak. JACK stands on the high point. He glares out over the TUNDRA, waiting for something, thinking. The camera pans over. MARCELINE makes her way up the hill with a bounce in her step. She waves up at JACK, energetic. JACK doesn't return the gesture)_

MARCELINE

Jacky-Jack! What are you doing up here?

JACK

Thinking...

MARCELINE

Listen, Abigail's annoying me. I want to get rid of her instead...

JACK

Strange. You act like I'm obliged...

MARCELINE

Of course you are. You're my right-hand man. Right?

 _(JACK turns around. He glares at her. Very slowly, he makes his way down from the edge. MARCELINE senses something is off. She takes a step back. JACK keeps walking over until he stands right in her face. He reaches into his POCKET. He pulls out SALLY's smoldered, blackened INDEX FINGER that he found in the fire)_

MARCELINE

Um, what's with the creepy look in your eyes?

JACK

I found this in the fire...

MARCELINE

Jack, are you kidding me?

JACK

Were you conspiring to make me quit?

MARCELINE

What?

JACK

From the very beginning. When we talked. What were you trying to do?

MARCELINE

I...I wasn't trying to do anything-

JACK

Then why did you get anxious around me all the sudden?

MARCELINE

I'm an honest person. I tell the truth...

JACK

Then do it...

MARCELINE

I..I like you. I mean, in the beginning...yes, I considered it-

JACK

 _What?_

MARCELINE

Yes, it was on my mind! Yes! I was thinking of voting you out! Tricking you! That's why I wanted to be your friend so badly! But you grew on me, Jack! I promise! Y'know, I got to know you. I...I like you...

 _(JACK reaches out and grabs MARCELINE's hands. She teeters backwards. She's now standing at the very edge of the CLIFF. Only JACK's grip is keeping her from tumbling off. JACK looks deep into her eyes)_

JACK

You used me. You took advantage. But now...I'm going to play the game...

MARCELINE

Jack-

 _(JACK lets go of MARCELINE. She tumbles backwards and goes rolling down the HILL. She spins around, disoriented, arms sprawled out in all directions. She ends up buried in SNOW at the bottom of the CLIFF. JACK walks down the HILL, slowly, eventually reaching her. He looks on at her in pity)_

MARCELINE

What was that for, you freak-nozzle?

JACK

I can't trust you anymore...

 _(JACK holds up SALLY's INDEX FINGER. He presses it to his chest, caressing it. He kisses it. Then he walks off. He hums "Deck The Halls" under his breath. MARCELINE is astounded, hugging her knees in the SNOW)_

 _(Cut to MARCELINE in a confessional)_

 _MANDY_

I think I just created a monster...

* * *

 _(Cut back to the FROZEN LAKE. SLAPPY and MANDY sit side-by-side)_

SLAPPY

So, how'd talking to Steven go?

MANDY

I kind of confessed everything I wanted to do. Now he's telling Abigail. So yeah, I'd say it went pretty badly...

SLAPPY

Sorry. Panchito's not flipping either. Pack your bags, kiddo. I tried my best...

 _(The camera pans over. MARCELINE appears in the TREELINE. She's shivering, still cold from being pushed through the snow. SLAPPY and MANDY notice)_

MARCELINE

Guys, do me a favor: _don't_ go near Jack...

SLAPPY

Um, what the hell happened to you?

MARCELINE

Um, he decided I was lying to him...and pushed me off a cliff. Y'know, my sex life basically...

SLAPPY

Yeah, well, I was talking about the vote with Mandy. Look, I _like_ you guys. Genuinely. I find you the least annoying. But whoever they target...I'll vote with the majority. I don't care if it's Mandy. I don't care if it's you. I'm just playing for myself here...

MARCELINE

So that's it? We're about to give up?

 _(MARCELINE picks up a STICK on the ground. MANDY and SLAPPY look on, intrigued, confused)_

MANDY

Marceline...?

MARCELINE

Come on guys, we're awesome. I came out here for adventure. Didn't you? Who are we to let the _men_ here define it? I'm sick of this. I won't sit here in mediocrity. I won't be a lame. If Abigail's stringing the boys along, let's stick out our fangs. I'm talking an all-girls alliance. Who's with me? Right here. Right now, golden girls. Let's mess...this tribe...the hell up...

MANDY

What? What do I have to do?

MARCELINE

I have a plan...

 _(Cut to MARCELINE in a confessional)_

 _MARCELINE_

Abigail thinks Steven will protect her. On the other hand, Abigail _wouldn't_ protect Steven to save her game. At Council...we're going to make Steven realize it...

* * *

 _(Cut to inside the IGLOO. The sun has set. The time for TRIBAL is fast approaching. Outside, everyone gathers their BAGS and TORCHES together, getting ready to leave. JACK and PANCHITO are inside the IGLOO)_

JACK

Am I being left out of anything, feathery-friend?

PANCHITO

 _(Forced laugh)_

Left out? No! No! Ridiculous!

JACK

Well, with all the talk around camp, Abigail's the only one that's spoken to me. I'm just saying, y'know, if we're really together-

PANCHITO

Yes, yes, it's Mandy...

JACK

 _(After a moment)_

But I was told Marceline...

PANCHITO

Crap.

JACK

Oh, not to worry, my friend! All in good jest! Simple. You thought I was too unaware to be included. Too out-there. Too scatterbrained. Well, who's to blame? I'm a performer by trade, of course after all. I may just _not_ be what I appear...

PANCHITO

I...I didn't mean to not include you-

JACK

Do you want to see a trick?

 _(JACK wretches his NECK to the side. He picks up his SKULL and rips it off his head. PANCHITO is horrified. JACK tosses his HEAD into PANCHITO's LAP. He smiles and talks to him)_

 _JACK_

We can still be friends! You can carry me anywhere-

PANCHITO

YOU ARE CREEPY! GET AWAY, GET AWAY!

 _(JACK reaches out and grabs his HEAD. He screws it back on and smiles at PANCHITO)_

JACK

Well, it's all in good fun. Even if you lie to me, we're still friends...

PANCHITO

Just vote for Mandy with us tonight. I'm sorry. They didn't trust you...

JACK

Well, to be honest, I'm not sure where the others stand. Lots of talking. Flipping around. First and foremost, I want to protect Abigail. She's the one who came to me today first. So, knowing that you have a little advantage-

PANCHITO

Who told you?

 _(JACK coughs audibly. He points to their side. The IMMUNITY IDOL is sitting there in plain sight. He raises his eyebrows at PANCHITO)_

PANCHITO

I am a mess. _Mierda, mierda..._

JACK

I'm going to ask you something, Panchito. You're free to say no. I think to take precautions...you should play your Idol on Abigail...

PANCHITO

Says who?

JACK

I don't know! Just Scatterbrained Jack! Until Council!

 _(JACK whistles. He ducks and walks out of the IGLOO. PANCHITO is left hugging his knees, staring at the IMMUNITY IDOL)_

* * *

 _(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL. The DAKOTA TRIBE enters with their TORCHES. They sit them down against the RACK. The HOST stands at his usual PODIUM, smiling as they enter. Everyone takes their seats)_

HOST

All right Dakota, welcome back. Abigail, based off the challenge, you and Mandy are clearly still bickering. Has there been any resolve?

ABIGAIL

She's chill. She's a cool cat. Y'know, she's going home tonight, but I'll offer an olive branch. I don't want any negativity...

MANDY

Strangle yourself with your esophagus…

ABIGAIL

But she won't accept it.

HOST

Mandy, has your feud with Abigail steered the course of the vote tonight?

MANDY

Well, y'know, I keep my cards close to my chest. I think I have the right to remain silent here….

HOST

Y'know, this is a reality show. Like, for people to be entertained by—

MANDY

Yeah, okay, let me become a pale imitation of the try-hard, hipster divas you cast. I'm not going to play up the camera. But I know what I'm doing tonight...

HOST

Abigail, Mandy doesn't want to discuss the vote in the open. What does this mean?

ABIGAIL

Look, I've fought tooth and nail to establish a relationship with Mandy. I was nice. I was courteous. But then she developed this, like, vendetta against me. I don't know. I'm glad she's going home…

HOST

Steven, what do you think it is about Abigail—

STEVEN

Why do you always ask my opinion on Abigail?

HOST

Because...you get defensive?

STEVEN

 _(Raising his hand)_

Okay, can we end this? Please? Like, there's only so much of this I can humanely take. Let's take about the weather. The snow. Anything...

HOST

Steven, you've been caught in the middle between these two women—

STEVEN

ONE MORE WORD, I SWEAR!

MARCELINE

I'm going to change the subject, okay? Let's talk about gerbils.

STEVEN

(Defensive)

Okay. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, I've never had one but-

HOST

Where is this going?

SLAPPY

 _(Raising her hand)_

Look. I hate to be the voice of reason here, but you signed up for this show. You signed up to be on television. Right? You can't just ignore drama. You agreed to it...

HOST

Slappy, you seem _very_ eager to vote-

SLAPPY

Well, y'know, Abigail came to me earlier. She told the truth: I'm slim picking out here. I'm going to do what I have to protect the sixty-five year old lady…

HOST

Now, I'm sensing there's a lot that's not being said here. Everyone just seems complacent, ready to vote. No fireworks. No fights. Does that means everyone's confident?

ABIGAIL

I'm confident Mandy's going home.

MARCELINE

 _(To MANDY and SLAPPY)_

Guys, hello, our plan, remember?

MANDY

…Steven, have you, um...

STEVEN

What? I can't hear you.

MARCELINE

Holy crap, just _say_ it-

MANDY

I am! I'm getting to it! Stop pressuring me!

SLAPPY

It was your plan, Marcy...

ABIGAIL

What's going on?

MARCELINE

Hey, so since none of my allies have any balls apparently. Mandy's not going home tonight. It's Steven…

 _(Cut to everyone's reaction. STEVEN stiffens up, frightened. ABIGAIL looks horrified. SLAPPY nods approvingly, smiling, watching the chaos. PANCHITO and JACK look sucker punched. MARCELINE cracks her neck. She smiles out at everyone)_

HOST

Wow, Marceline takes charge. Abigail, you look like you've had the wind knocked out on you—

ABIGAIL

I question their tactics...

HOST

Because?

ABIGAIL

I mean, compared to me and Steven, I don't see why they'd target him over me...

STEVEN

Meaning what, that you're _better_ than me?

ABIGAIL

I'm defending you—

STEVEN

Yes, but I can defend myself...

HOST

The floor's yours, Steven—

STEVEN

Okay guys, look, I _get_ what you want to do. Walk over me. Kick me out. But really, I've busted myself providing here. I've tried my best. And it doesn't make sense—

HOST

But Steven, if they're not going to vote you, who _else?_

STEVEN

I'm just putting it out there—

HOST

You're not making sense—

ABIGAIL

They're trying to get Steven to throw me under the bus—

MARCELINE

Abbie, we're _not_ voting for you. We're voting for him.

ABIGAIL

I don't believe you...

MARCELINE

Are you that egocentric, really? You're physical. We need you for challenges. Steven's your support system. He's weaker. We're going to cut Steven off. It makes sense...

HOST

Panchito and Jack, you've been quiet over there. What's going through your heads?

JACK

 _(Glaring at MARCELINE)_

Well, I don't see the point of this. The lying. The deception. I'm just sitting here. I don't understand where this is going. But I feel like I've been dismissed here as...kooky...out-there. And I think tonight, you'll be surprised on what I achieve on my own...

HOST

Marceline, he's looking at _you—_

MARCELINE

Jack's my next problem to deal with. Tonight, it's Abigail…

JACK

 _(Stiffening up)_

I'm just observing. Carry on.

HOST

And Panchito?

PANCHITO

Well, if plans have changed, I don't know _why_ I've been left out of them—

SLAPPY

You're a pushover. That's why-

HOST

Slappy, where is this venom coming from? You just call out other people. You belittle them. How does that help your case here? Do you think this helps your likability? Even if you make it far in this game, this is about social relationships. Is there going to reach a point where you'll say, "Hey, you know, now I'm campaigning for jury votes? I have to be nicer?"

SLAPPY

I'm pushing people where I need to. Mandy's right. This isn't about making an idiot of yourself tonight. It's about guiding the votes. I think I'm being honest. I'm not being mean...

MARCELINE

Well, y'know, you guys could _help_ me a little...

SLAPPY

Fine. I will. You deserve it. Steven, I'll tell you what: the floor's open for you right now. You could flip. If you flipped on Abigail with us, we'd be _down_ for it. Do you think she'd stick her neck out to save you?

STEVEN

I'm thinking about it….

ABIGAIL

Are you kidding me?

HOST

Abigail, you're finally getting emotional…

 _(STEVEN does not respond. ABIGAIL starts to tear up. The OTHERS are surprised, taken aback. They give her distance. She struggles to stop crying)_

ABIGAIL

Of course I am. I mean, I haven't hurt anyone...

HOST

This doesn't happen often, does it? You showing your feelings like this?

ABIGAIL

Everyone thinks I'm a bully. And I'm not. I'm genuinely a good person. I've been a victim before and I don't want to be on the other end...

MANDY

What about what you did with Steven?

 _(Everyone glances over at MANDY. They're shocked that she's finally spoken. SLAPPY nods, satisfied, relieved. MANDY gives ABIGAIL a death stare. She doesn't back down)_

ABIGAIL

I'm assuming you told him-

MANDY

No. I didn't...

ABIGAIL

Well, then _don't_ take the credit for it.

MANDY

Y'know, I'll admit it. I judge people too. I push them away. But in a million years, I never would have done what you did to him. You think you've been hurt by people. You think that made you tough. But it doesn't give you any right to become the bully...

SLAPPY

 _(Muttering)_

Go Mandy...

HOST

Steven, talk us through where your mind is at right now…

STEVEN

 _(Timid)_

Abbie, I'm…playing the game...

ABIGAIL

Okay...

STEVEN

Just so, like-

ABIGAIL

Okay! Yes! I get it!

HOST

Abigail, you're not even responding. The walls are crushing in . Can you even hear us right now?

ABIGAIL

I don't know what I can tell you guys. I'm a person! I mean, for real: controlling, game-bot, stone-cold killer. It hurts. Steven, look, I like you, man. Genuinely. If you keep me, I've got your back-

MANDY

We have his back too...

ABIGAIL

What?

SLAPPY

 _(Whispering to STEVEN)_

If you're flipping, say you're staying with Abigail….

STEVEN

Why?

SLAPPY

I think we can flush an Idol...

HOST

Steven, time's running out. Your tribe's waiting for an answer…

STEVEN

 _(Finally speaking)_

I...I know what I'm doing tonight...

HOST

Well, with that being said, it is time to vote. Jack, Panchito, you've been awfully quiet. Do you have any closing thoughts for us?

PANCHITO

 _(Whispering to JACK)_

I'm not going to play the Idol. I think Steven's safe...

MARCELINE

 _(Winking at JACK)_

Yeah. _Don't_ play the Idol. Steven's safe...

 _(JACK frowns at them. He looks from side-to-side, very nervous. Everyone is looking at STEVEN, not paying attention. MARCELINE gives JACK a sad smile. JACK stares at her but doesn't say anything)_

HOST

Well, it's time. Slappy, you're up…

ABIGAIL

 _(To JACK and PANCHITO)_

Guys, if you want Marceline, it's fine. I'll vote Marceline...

* * *

 _(Cut to SLAPPY in the VOTING BOOTH)_

SLAPPY

You called yourself a stone-cold killer. But I didn't even have to flinch to get you out…

 _(Cut to PANCHITO in the VOTING BOOTH)_

PANCHITO

I trust the people I've aligned with. I believe Steven is safe. I'm writing this vote and crossing my feathers...

 _(Cut to MANDY in the VOTING BOOTH)_

MANDY

I've never been the good guy before. But I'm really glad you're going home…

JACK

 _(Cut to MARCELINE in the VOTING BOOTH)_

MARCELINE

Rock and roll, sister...

 _(Cut to JACK in the VOTING BOOTH)_

JACK

Marceline, you've worked up a whole armada here but I'm going to pull the rug out from under your feet. You taught me to play for myself...

 _(Cut to ABIGAIL in the VOTING BOOTH)_

ABIGAIL

I'm switching my vote to Marceline. Jack really wants her out. I have to do what he wants because it's too dangerous. I'm skating on thin ice here...

 _(Cut to STEVEN in the VOTING BOOTH. He doesn't say anything. He presses the PEN to the paper, careful, thinking. Then finally, he starts to write a name down)_

* * *

 _(Cut back to TRIBAL COUNCIL. Nobody seems confident. Everyone looks worried. ABIGAIL watches as STEVEN exits the HALLWAY and sits back down. She waits for him to acknowledge her. He doesn't. MANDY, SLAPPY, and MARCELINE give each other anxious glances. JACK glances over at MARCELINE, sizing her up, thinking. PANCHITO bites at his fingernails._

 _THE HOST exits the HALLWAY with the URN of VOTES. He goes to the PODIUM and takes his PLACE)_

 _HOST_

If anyone has a hidden immunity Idol and would like to play it, now would be the time to do so...

JACK

Panchito, _play_ it-

PANCHITO

I think we're safe...

JACK

No. I think it's Steven. Play the Idol...

PANCHITO

 _(Frightened)_

You do it. I can't..

 _(PANCHITO hands JACK the IMMUNITY IDOL. JACK snatches it and nods. He stands up in front of the group. MARCELINE bites her lip, waiting for the worst. Everyone watches as he crosses over and stands in front of the group)_

 _JACK_

I have suspicions of Marceline's tactics! She's quite persuasive, you know...and flirtatious! Alas, we usher in a new age now, where the Pumpkin King is aware, perceptive, and plays Survivor! So, I'd like to play this hidden immunity Idol on Steven Universe-

MARCELINE

Holy crap, this is going to be embarrassing...

 _HOST_

This is indeed a hidden immunity Idol. All votes cast for Steven will not count. I will now read the votes...

* * *

 **FIRST VOTE**

 **MARCELINE**

 **SECOND VOTE**

 **ABIGAIL**

 **THIRD VOTE**

 **MARCELINE**

 **FOURTH VOTE**

 **ABIGAIL**

 **FIFTH VOTE**

 **MARCELINE**

 **SIXTH VOTE**

 **ABIGAIL**

 **SEVENTH VOTE**

 **ABIGAIL**

 **Fourth person voted out of Animation Brawl: Yellowstone….**

 **ABIGAIL**

* * *

 _(Cut to the TRIBES' REACTION. JACK is horrified and embarrassed. He buries his face in his hands. PANCHITO starts to sob, dramatic, mourning his wasted IMMUNITY IDOL. MARCELINE reaches her hand over to SLAPPY and MANDY, giving them HIGH-FIVES. The GIRLS celebrate. STEVEN's face is blank and cold. He gives ABIGAIL a stare)_

ABIGAIL

 _(After a moment)_

You're not so tough after all, man...

STEVEN

But I can get stronger. And you'll always be a liar…

 _(ABIGAIL collects her TORCH and walks over to the HOST. She jams her TORCH in the POST, staring straight ahead)_

HOST

Abigail...the tribe has spoken….

 _(He puts out her TORCH)_

Time for you to go…

 _(ABIGAIL shakes her head and walks off down the hallway. Everyone is trying not to look at JACK, too embarrassed and bemused by what's happening)_

 _JACK_

(Timid)

Well, I suppose...the important thing is that we all had fun...right, Panchito?

 _PANCHITO_

(Depressed)

I'm going to drink so much tonight...

 _(Cut to the The HOST. He smiles out at the other CONTESTANTS)_

HOST

Well, it seems like every time this tribe goes to Council, dynamics shift. You make alliances. You destroy them. Tonight, you chose to take out the most aggressive player on your tribe. The question is, will that protect you going forward, or make you the next targets? Grab your stuff. Head back to camp…

* * *

 **PANCHITO voted for MARCELINE**

 **ABIGAIL voted for MARCELINE**

 **JACK voted for MARCELINE**

 **STEVEN voted for ABIGAIL**

 **MANDY voted for ABIGAIL**

 **MARCELINE voted for ABIGAIL**

 **SLAPPY voted for ABIGAIL**

* * *

A/N: Another one bites the dust.

With Abigail, I wanted to play around with expectations in the Steven/Abigail/Mandy relationship. I felt the immediate assumption was that Abigail and Steven would team up to be a virtuous duo and tag-team Mandy. Then as we learned more about the characters, it became clear that Mandy wasn't really all that bad and Abigail wasn't really all that good. It placed Steven, who has kind of a singular view of good and evil as a "hero," into a place where he had to make a decision.

As you've probably imagined, a tribe swap is on the horizon. Let's see how it pans out. Reviews are always welcome. :)


	10. Wild Goose Chase, Part I

_(Cut to the following morning at the SHOSHONE CAMP. Everyone is mulling around. CLYDE sits near the WOODS alone on a STUMP. He smokes a CIGAR and ignores the OTHERS._

 _FLUTTERSHY sits by the CAMPFIRE tossing in STICKS. BRIAN sits against the IGLOO downing a bottle of VODKA. He is completely wasted._

 _SHIFTY sits beside CLEO on one of the LOGS. He gives CLEO a backrub. For some reason, SHIFTY is acting much more flamboyant now. He talks like a feminine hairdresser)_

SHIFTY

A back rub, my doll? A stretch of magic fingers from Shifty here?

CLEO

Where'd you learn how to do this?

SHIFTY

Well, in prison, you've got to do a lot of things to not get beaten up. Flutter-Butter, hand me the nail filer, will you? Make yourself useful...

FLUTTERSHY

(Scowling at him)

As if...

 _(SHIFTY rolls his eyes. He glances from side-to-side making sure nobody is looking. Then he shoves FLUTTERSHY hard. She topples over and rolls into BRIAN by the IGLOO. He smiles drunkenly at her as he takes a chug of VODKA)_

BRIAN

 _(Slurring)_

Top of the morning, Fluttershy. How y'doing?

FLUTTERSHY

Drinking at noon Brian? Really?

BRIAN

We won the challenge. C'mon, I've earned a few shots...

 _(The ground outside the IGLOO shakes. FLUTTERSHY glances around nervous, frightened. Then it stops. After a moment, CHESHIRE CAT pokes his head out of the IGLOO. He is rubbing his forehead)_

CHESHIRE CAT

I...I just had a headache. My powers are acting up again…

SHIFTY

(Louder)

Y'know Cleo darling, whoever grooms your hair, really, you have to give me their number. Because this raccoon hair, so problematic, so ruffley. But enough about me, tell me about you-

BRIAN

 _(Singing)_

 _"Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer-"_

CLEO

 _(To SHIFTY)_

Well, I'm a Capricorn, I compete in dog shows, my least favorite person on this tribe was Joy….

SHIFTY

You're going to look fabulous. Just fabulous.

CHESHIRE CAT

Fluttershy, I can't control my brain—

BRIAN

 _(Holding up VODKA)_

Hey Flutttershy, you want a drink?

CHESHIRE CAT

Fluttershy, my powers! They're out of control! I can't—

FLUTTERSHY

EVERYONE SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I can't take this! Look at her: Cleo's driven you all crazy! She's basking in her throne here! Do you hear me, Cleo? I'm not a coward! Those days are over! You drove Joy crazy! You drove Wilt crazy! But you're not going to get me…

 _(FLUTTERSHY struts over and gets in CLEO's face. Everyone is shocked. SHIFTY looks amused. He smiles gleefully, waiting to see what happens next)_

CLEO

(After a moment)

I'm spending time with my friends. Stop being a buzzkill...

FLUTTERSHY

Fine! But I'm not going home next…

 _(FLUTTERSHY storms off)_

CLEO

Is this tribe for sore losers now?

SHIFTY

(Snapping his fingers)

No, girlfriend. It's for queens...

 _(Cut to SHIFTY in a confessional)_

SHIFTY

Yeah, so this whole tribe's turning into an asylum. I love it. Really, all I have to do is act weak and sell myself as a pansy. A salesman's got to prioritize….

* * *

 _(Cut to a little while later. FLUTTERSHY has cornered CLYDE on the outskirts of CAMP. CLYDE puffs away at a CIGAR)_

FLUTTERSHY

Clyde, what are you doing?

CLYDE

Puffing some smoke. What, I can't get a light in this joint?

FLUTTERSHY

Give me a puff…

 _(FLUTTERSHY snatches CLYDE's CIGAR. He looks shocked)_

CLYDE

What? Fluttershy, is that you in there?

FLUTTERSHY

Of course it's me. But I've been pushed to my breaking point by these people...

CLYDE

Well, for starters, you're holding the cigar the wrong way...

FLUTTERSHY

I _knew_ that. Look, are you still on board? Brian, Shifty, and Cleo are together. I'm not asking for, like...undying loyalty. Just stick with me and Cheshire Cat for now. I'll...I'll make it worth your while, okay?

CLEO

Uh, I mean along the lines of...y'know, not voting me _out_ in the near future?

FLUTTERSHY

Okay, well—

 _(She takes a hit from the CIGAR. She starts to cough)_

Oh my God, I'm dying, I'm dying—

CLYDE

 _(Snatching the CIGAR back)_

Get a hold of yourself!

FLUTTERSHY

I'm ready to play the game—

CLYDE

Well, I've still got you. We'll wrack them up, have them sleeping with the fishes—

FLUTTERSHY

Thanks, Clyde. Really. And just so you know, I don't care what anyone says: you're not trying too hard to impress everyone before...

CLYDE

Nobody ever told me I was…

FLUTTERSHY

See! It's working!

* * *

 _(Cut to a little while later. SHIFTY is still giving CLEO a treatment by the FIRE. CLYDE walks up to them. He smooths his fingers through his nonexistent hair. Then he purrs seductively and walks forward)_

 _(Cut to CLYDE in a confessional)_

CLYDE

First step: impress Cleo, suck up to her and snatch her from Shifty….

(Cut back to the scene)

CLYDE

Hey, so, uh, what's going on here?

SHIFTY

Clyde baby, darling. Sit, sit. We'll get that scruffy face cleaned up-

CLYDE

Enough of that! Uh, Cleo, I couldn't help but notice….you're a girl-

CLEO

Uh, yeah, I'm of...that variety...

CLYDE

Well, I mean, cause I've met a lot of girls, y'know? Girls like _you._ When I was younger, with my ghost gang, I'd swing into the clubs and leave with twenty broads on my arm. Hang on, I'll tell you a story about—

SHIFTY

Y'know, your social skills are impeccable, Clyde….

CLYDE

So we're all sitting at our table, y'know, and this one chick two times my height, comes over and says, 'Y'know, I've been eyeballing you from across the dance floor..." but the thing is, I don't have any feet. Just these tentacle things. So I couldn't dance with her. So I hid my lower half beneath the table and said, " I been eyeballin' _you too_ , baby" So I told my friend, Inky, get me that mop, that'll be the right leg. And I told Pinky, get me that broom, that'll be the left leg and—

 _(CLEO yawns, bored, uninterested. She looks from side-to-side. Then she rolls her eyes and grabs CLYDE's hand. She pulls him down and exchanges her seat with him. CLYDE is confused)_

CLEO

Okay, Clyde. Stop talking. Shifty, give him a pedicure...

SHIFTY

Uh, Cleo, we don't _like_ Clyde—

CLEO

No! He's trying so hard to fit in! I was like that once. Once a Shoshone, always a Shoshone!

CLYDE

 _(Winking)_

Yeah, you slimy raccoon. We're Shoshones...

CLEO

If only Fluttershy would understand friendship too...

* * *

 _(Cut to later that night inside the IGLOO. Everyone is curled up together. SHIFTY sleeps beside CLYDE. He crawls in close to him and speaks into his ear)_

SHIFTY

Stay away from Cleo…

CLYDE

I thought you were a gay hairdresser now...

SHIFTY

I'm just saying. Your days of being a smooth criminal, or whatever? They're behind you. For all intents and purposes out here, I'm _you._ The old you. Or the guy you wish you could be...

CLYDE

Why not take another girl? You used to have Fluttershy, didn't you?

SHIFTY

I'm done with her...

CLYDE

Yeah. Because she exposed you as a coward...

SHIFTY

It's either her or you going next...

CLEO

Brian, I'm cold. Move. I need body heat—

FLUTTERSHY

 _(Muttering in her sleep)_

Go away, Cleo. Go away-

CLEO

Brian, for the love of God, move your fat - stupid—

CLYDE

Oh, give it a rest already...

SHIFTY

Wait, I don't think he's sleeping. It looks like he's—

 _(CLEO pokes BRIAN again. His face is pale. There's no signs of life. She shrieks and jumps up)_

CLEO

DEAD? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HE'S DEAD! CALL THE POLICE! CALL MY OWNER! CALL A VETERNARIAN!

* * *

 _(Cut to a little while later. The HOST now stands with a MEDIC over BRIAN's body outside the IGLOO. The rest of the TRIBE is bundled up, gathered around, struggling to stay warm)_

HOST

All right, what's the situation here?

CLEO

SPEAK TO ME, BRIAN! IT'S CLEO! YOUR BEST FRIEND!

BRIAN

(Groaning)

No, not. Not her. Make her leave-

HOST

Brian, can you hear me? What's going on?

MEDIC

Well, it looks like Brian drank himself into an unconscious state. That, combined with the harsh elements outside, tampered with his blood pressure and gave him hypothermia. But he seems to be coming back now—

BRIAN

It's fine. I'm a responsible drunk—

CLEO

! Don't scare us like this!

HOST

Brian, you say you're responsible. Your friends are claiming otherwise-

BRIAN

Well, I don't know. I got nervous. After the challenge, I was feeling great. Then, I just started thinking more about Wilt...and the tribe...and the game...I don't know, I guess I let myself down...

HOST

What about your tribemates?

BRIAN

Well, y'know, if you really want to make me feel bad, I guess I let them down too...

HOST

What's his status in the game?

MEDIC

Well, all signs are returning to normal. He needs food. Rest. Stay by the fire. And obviously, not another drop of alcohol—

CLYDE

Come on guys, let's toss these in the woods—

BRIAN

You know, I...I could do it myself...

CLYDE

Quit it, Brian. This is for your own good...

 _(CLYDE walks off. SHIFTY grins and opens up a BOTTLE. He takes a long swig in front of BRIAN)_

SHIFTY

Yeah. Damn, good old Smirnoff. Hits the spot, doesn't it?

 _(SHIFTY walks off whistling. CLEO and BRIAN are left alone)_

BRIAN

Well, at least...this is going to be good material for my novel...

CLEO

You won't be alive to write it. Take care of yourself more…

 _(CLEO rolls her eyes and walks off. BRIAN is left alone, dejected. He shivers in the cold. The camera pans over to the OTHERS outside the IGLOO. CLYDE and SHIFTY walk off carrying the BOTTLES. They head toward the woods)_

CLYDE

Holy hell, he must have stolen these from production. Guy's a freaking alcoholic. What is this Brian, you came out here as a detox plan? Incredible. Come on, dump it all out. I don't want him getting near this. Where's Fluttershy?

SHIFTY

What? She was _just_ here—

CLYDE

Oh crap….

* * *

 _(Cut to somewhere in the WOODS. FLUTTERSHY dashes through the TREELINE, panting, terrified. She swats branches out of her face. CHESHIRE CAT is nestled on her shoulder. He calls out into the dark as they run)_

CHESHIRE CAT

RUN, PONY-FRIEND! RUN! OVER HILLS, OVER VALLEYS! INTO THE SETTING SUN!

FLUTTERSHY

Ches, I swear to God, be quiet—

CHESHIRE CAT

I will! I'm quiet! I'm quiet! Oh God, I'm fizzling. My powers are out of control...

 _(CHESIRE CAT twitches. A TREE beside them vibrates. Out of nowhere, it vanishes in a crack of smoke. It's replaced by a parasol umbrella. FLUTTERSHY shakes her head as they run off)_

 _(Cut to FLUTTERSHY in a confessional)_

FLUTTERSHY

So once I saw Brian was going to be okay, I realized the others would be distracted. I need the immunity Idol. Badly. And if Clyde was too busy sucking up to the others, Ches and I _had_ to save ourselves—

 _(Cut back to the scene. FLUTTERSHY collapses behind a TREE. She pants heavily. CHESHIRE CAT nuzzles into her, concerned, frightened. There's a sound of BRANCHES breaking in the distance)_

SHIFTY

(Off-screen)

Come out, Flutter-Nutter! It's the big, bad wolf!

FLUTTERSHY

Oh no! It's Shifty! Quick Ches, teleport us—

CHESHIRE CAT

(Saluting)

On it, Madame!

 _(CHESHIRE CAT snaps his fingers. They vanish. Then immediately, they reappear only a few inches away. FLUTTERSHY looks furious)_

FLUTTERSHY

That was two feet!

CHESHIRE CAT

I told you! It's my powers! Ever since I met you, they've been going out of control!

FLUTTERSHY

Whatever. Follow me. Crawl. Be careful—

CHESHIRE CAT

No. I'm going to create a distraction. Keep going. Make your way back to camp...

 _(CHESHIRE CAT gives her a crazed smile. He nods and vanishes behind a BUSH. FLUTTERSHY sighs, hugging her knees. She takes a breath and hurries off in the other direction)_

FLUTTERSHY

So in the most terrifying moment of life - like, even worse than that time I went to a pony dance when I was eleven - salvation finally came...

 _(Cut back to the scene. FLUTTERSHY peeks around a TREE. She glances out at a LARGE CLEARING. There's a spindly, enormous TREE with branches arcing off in every direction like a spider web. In the moonlight, an ITEM dangles on a thin ROPE from one of the high branches. FLUTTERSHY squints. She's looking at nothing but the HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL._

FLUTTERSHY

(Muttering)

Oh, Wilt. Of course you would have...

* * *

 _(Cut back to CAMP. BRIAN leans up against the IGLOO. He shivers, hugging his PARKA, trying to compose himself)_

 _(Cut to BRIAN in a confessional)_

BRIAN

I've been through hell and back. I mean, I don't know what came over me tonight. After the challenge, things _should_ have gotten better. But I just started drinking and drinking. It's what happens when I'm anxious. Like, when things are getting better, I doubt myself. But I'm done with this crap. Really. While I was laying down unconcious like a dog at a vet, everyone just abandoned me. Sprinted off into the woods. So I figured, "Hey, if they're going to look for the Idol?" Well...now's a pretty good time to get sober...

* * *

 _(Cut to CLEO out in the WOODS. She's disoriented, confused, looking around through the TREES. She pulls out BRANCHES as she clears a PATH. Muffled voices are heard in the distance)_

CHESHIRE CAT

 _(In SHIFTY's voice)_

This way, Cleo!

CLEO

YES, I'M COMING!

CHESHIRE CAT

 _(In CLEO's voice)_

No, no, over here! This way!

 _(SHIFTY steps out from the TREES. He's bewildered. He glances around, confused, trying to make sense of all of this)_

SHIFTY

Huh?

 _(CLEO spins around. She bonks into SHIFTY. They shriek and fall to the ground, both of them cupping their foreheads. The camera pans up. CHESHIRE CAT sits nestled on the highest branch. He giggles and snaps his fingers)_

CHESHIRE CAT

Works every time...

* * *

 _(Cut back to the CLEARING. CLYDE dashes out of the WOODS. He glances around at the arctic TUNDRA. In the distance, a long stretch of snow fades off into the mountains. He glances around, cupping his hands to his mouth to yell)_

CLYDE

Fluttershy! Fluttershy! It's Clyde! Where are you?

 _(The camera pans over. We see the ENORMOUS TREE form earlier. FLUTTERSHY is now scaling her way up. She sits now on the highest BRANCH. Very carefully, like a sloth, she makes her way down the winding path. The IDOL gleams in the moonlight within her reach)_

 _(Cut to CLYDE in a confessional)_

CLYDE

So when I came through the clearing, I saw Fluttershy climbing the tree to reach the Idol. At that point, everyone was looking for it. An Idol's only a benefit if nobody else knows you have it. If they do, they're all going to be scrambling to try to vote you out with. So, I figured rather than put the target on myself...I'd let the others take the heat for it...

 _(Cut back to the scene. CLYDE surveys FLUTTERSHY, biting his lip, nervous. He yells out to her)_

CLYDE

Hey, ding-a-ling! Use this stick! Knock it down!

 _(FLUTTERSHY nods. She breaks off a STICK from the TREE. She holds it outward, careful, trying to detach the IDOL from the TREE. Just then, right beside CLYDE, SHIFTY sprints out of the TREELINE. He's breathless, disoriented)_

SHIFTY

NO, FLUTTERSHY! STOP! STOP!

FLUTTERSHY

It's like you _said,_ Shifty! This game isn't for losers!

(She snaps her fingers)

It's for queens!

 _(FLUTTERSHY nudges the IDOL with the STICK. It fidgets. Then, suddenly, another STICK pokes it up from the BOTTOM. The IDOL pops out of the KNOT in the ROPE. It topples off the ground, plummeting into the darkness. Then a white HAND seizes it. FLUTTERSHY tumbles, arms flailing. She falls to the ground screaming)_

 _Beside her, grinning from ear-to-ear, is BRIAN holding the IMMUNITY IDOL. The OTHERS all look on in shock)_

BRIAN

WHAT NOW? WHAT NOW? BRIAN GRIFFIN, THAT'S WHO! NOVELIST! SURVIVOR! DOG! I'M UNSTOPPABLE! I'M HUNG-OVER! I'M HAPPY! OH MY GOD, I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS HUNG-OVER AND HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME!

 _(Cut to BRIAN in a confessional. He smiles at the camera and flashes the IDOL)_

BRIAN

So after a long, wild goose chase...I finally got what I wanted...

* * *

 _(Cut to the challenge the following morning. TWO LARGE SLEDS full of ROCKS sit at the start of a FINISH LINE. Tied to each SLED are long ropes connected to HARNESSES. The HOST stands on his usual SPOT waiting for the TRIBES to arrive. The SHOSHONE TRIBE – CLEO, SHIFTY, CLYDE, FLUTTERSHY, BRIAN, and CHESHIRE CAT – enters first. The DAKOTA TRIBE – STEVEN, MARCELINE, MANDY, JACK, PANCHITO, and SLAPPY – enters afterwards)_

HOST

Come on in guys! Shoshone, getting your first look at the new Dakota Tribe. Abigail, voted out at last night's Tribal Council...

CLYDE

Shoot. Didn't see that one coming...

HOST

All right Steven, it's been a hard few-days out here. Your tribe especially seems to evolve with every hour that passes. Where do you stand right now?

STEVEN

 _(Firm)_

Well, we've had some serious speed bumps. But I made a choice last night, and I think it was a good choice, and I'm going to defend, like...the people who protected me and stuff...

HOST

Jack, how about you? Feeling comfortable at your tribe?

 _(The camera pans over to JACK. His expression has changed. He has a crazed look in his eyes, brooding, eager. More than anyone else, he seems the most prepared to start the challenge. MARCELINE is struggling to avoid eye contact._

 _Staring at the other TRIBE, JACK fishes into his POCKET. He retrieves one of the DEAD POSSUMS that he scavenged with MARCELINE before. He waves it in the air, tail shaking, feverishly back and forth)_

JACK

JUST SAYING HELLO, SURVIVORS! HOW GOES IT?

CLYDE

Whack-job...

HOST

Now over on Shoshone, you guys haven't had it much easier. Cheshire Cat, with the numbers wittling down, do you feel like you're running out of people you can trust?

CHESHIRE CAT

 _(Hugging FLUTTERSHY)_

Oh no, never, never in a million years! I have a best friend, thick and thin, cantalope, potato skins! And together, we'll brace for whatever awaits us next!

HOST

Fluttershy, I'm going to guess you feel the same way?

FLUTTERSHY

When he's not...crushing my windpipe—

HOST

Well, I hope all your friendships last, because now, things are going to get very interesting. Everyone drop your buffs. We are swapping tribes…

 _(Cut to the TRIBES' reactions. Almost everyone is insanely relieved. STEVEN, MANDY, PANCHITO, and MARCELINE erupt into celebration. They tear off their BUFFS and stomp on them. SLAPPY rips hers off and begins to tear it to shreds. JACK seems concerned, taken aback by the news. He watched MARCELINE celebrate and cocks his head)_

 _On the SHOSHONE SIDE, BRIAN fist pumps the air. SHIFTY nods, smiling, unreadable. CHESHIRE CAT twirls in circles, spinning his tail. It changes into different colors. CLYDE gives slaps FLUTTERSHY on the back, more than relieved to be escaping._

 _The only person who seems depressed, oddly enough, is CLEO. Glancing at her TRIBE celebrating, she seems depressed)_

HOST

But it's not going to pan out the same way as usual. In fact, you'll be selecting these tribes yourselves. You just won't be directly aware of how you're choosing them. Everyone will be given a scorecard. You will rank your tribe. At the top of the list, the most trustworthy...at the bottom, the most conniving and duplicitous. We will then average the votes...

* * *

 _(Cut to a few minutes later. The HOST now stands holding the results of the TRIBE DIVISON. Everyone stands, eager, waiting for their new homes)_

HOST

All right, guys. In ancient folklore, spirits sometimes found their way into human bodies. The darkness needed to be conjured and brought out via exorcism. And today, we're going to do just that. We'll be separating the good and evil in this game...by placing you on two separate tribes. The new Dakota Tribe, which will be symbolized by "light" or goodness...will be Panchito, Steven, Jack, Fluttershy, Cheshire Cat, and Brian. The new Shoshone Tribe, which will be symbolized by "darkness" or evil...will be Cleo, Shifty, Clyde, Slappy, Mandy, and Marceline. Everyone...please take your spots...

 _(The TRIBES disperse. MANDY, MARCELINE, and SLAPPY are relieved, their alliance completely intact. STEVEN seems reserved, staying cautiously with PANCHITO and JACK as the girls gather their BACKPACKS to leave. FLUTTERSHY, CHESHIRE CAT, and BRIAN walk over to join them, all in good spirits._

 _The SHOSHONE TRIBE is a different story. Alienated by the OTHERS, everyone seems a little uneasy to be joining the "evil" TRIBE. CLYDE seems crestfallen, maybe even a little hurt at what he's been labeled. SHIFTY couldn't be any happier. CLEO just seems confused, almost like somebody's made a mistake)_

MANDY

 _(To STEVEN)_

Listen, I know we haven't talked that much since the vote. But stay calm, okay? We've got this—

STEVEN

(Laughing)

It's fine! Come on, why would _you_ care what happens to me anyway?

MANDY

(Quiet)

I mean…no reason...

CLEO

 _(Raising HAND)_

Um, I think there's been a mistake! I put myself down for trustworthy!

 _(Cut to MARCELINE in a confessional)_

MARCELINE

I'm super pumped I'm on the villains tribe. I mean, not just because it's cool and badass, but I'm finally away from Jack. Yes. I mean, I don't know what he was planning to do to me next Council, but over here, at least I can get a fresh start with new people….

 _(Cut back to the scene. The DAKOTA TRIBE – or "LIGHT TRIBE" – has now fully formed on their mat. They stand against The SHOSHONE TRIBE – or "DARKNESS TRIBE" – whom shoot dirty looks at them. The HOST smiles at the new divisions)_

HOST

Well, with that settled...is everyone ready to get to your next challenge?


End file.
